though it hurts to breathe

[athru]

Who: Raven, Hank, Charles and Erik
Broadcast: No
Action: On the Heron
When: Now onwards!

[ It had taken her a little while to calm down with Hank at her side, long enough that she's practically itching to make her way over to the Heron as soon as she can, device in her hand - the temptation to text ahead, to make sure they're really there, that they're okay, is almost a little too daunting and there's not much Raven can do other than force herself to stop. She's stronger than this, true, but coming out of the other side of something as horrendous as Apocalypse and standing tall, waking up on the Fleet, trying to figure out if she can handle it all again - it's too much.

The only thoughts in her mind are that she needs to find Charles, she needs to find Erik, and she needs to make sure they're alive, that they're safe, that they're here. This is going to be impossibly difficult for all four of them, Hank at her side, but they could work through it. They beat an all powerful mutant 'God', they came together as a family and they worked, hard, to make sure they all came out alive the other side.

What was the Fleet after all that?

It doesn't take her long to break away from Hank into a practical run as she reaches the Heron, a flash as she makes her way down the hall to find the other two mutants. Erik is important in her mind, of course, but her first instinct is to call out for Charles, standing outside the door and pressing her fingers against it, afraid for a moment that he won't answer, that he won't be there. The fear grips her, and her hands shake, but she does it anyway, knocking and calling for her brother.

After that, later... Well, she has to take time to calm down. Once she's sure Charles is safe, that Erik is safe, she can actually move to relax herself, the weight on her shoulders fading away. It takes time, but it happens, slowly... But she doesn't leave. She doesn't feel like she can leave either of them, and she wonders how they're going to handle that. ]

Comments

[exothermia]

[Charles gets the door first, because why wouldn't he? The energy that floods the room when Raven enters and throws herself at her brother is like electricity on Erik's skin, faintly prickling. Nothing like the awkward, artificial reserve that had fallen on Charles and Erik when they woke up side-by-side.

Erik smiles at the pair of them reuniting. It's genuine. It's also not a moment for him, in this too-small bedroom. So he slips out of the room while they're occupied, giving them space.

Giving himself some as well.

He stops in the corridor just outside the room though, leaning back against the wall, and passes his hand over his face. He's gone from solitude to a deluge of interaction, ties, substance. It's pointless to wish he could have been better prepared.]

[athru]

[ Raven drowns herself in Charles and his company for as long as she can manage; the intensity of it is a little much for all of them, she thinks, and as glad as she is to be back in her brother's arms, making sure he's alive and well after the sudden rush of ten years and the reminder of the Fleet, she knows that he's not the only one she needs to see. She knows that he knows, too, because it's Charles and no matter how much time passes he'd always know.

When he gets caught up with Hank (which was bound to happen, considering it's the two of them) she offers a small smile and slips out of the room, giving the two of them their time; they're family too, after all. And, speaking of family...

Outside, Raven doesn't pause. Her eyes drag over Erik and drink him in, and she swallows before she moves and slips up to stand at his side, her fingers reaching out to find his, wanting to anchor herself to him, too. ]

You're here.

[exothermia]

[The last time he'd seen Raven was at a distance; watching her prepare the X-Men in the Danger Room, as he got ready to leave. It wasn't so long ago, not really. A couple of weeks. It hadn't hurt to leave, knowing as he did that he couldn't stay. Not when there were things he had to do, for himself and no one else.

There is a measure of relief in seeing her again, little expected though it had been when he left the school. His fingers twitch a bit at the touch, but he allows it. He tilts his head towards her, slightly more unkempt than he'd been while staying at the school.]

So it would seem.

[athru]

[ She doesn't say much, not at first; for a long moment all she can do is bask in the fact that he's here, beside her, that she can reach out and touch his hand and know that he's real. She had been so afraid that she might have woken up to a world where Charles and Erik had stayed back at the mansion, or where she and Hank had awoken together to find that the other two had no idea what they were talking about.

It's strange, to find some kind of relief in pain, but at the same time it's familiar. It makes sense, and that makes it easier. Erik is here, and he remembers, and he looks the way she remembers him when she had been around the mansion putting things back together, and as much as her heart hurts she knows that she's managing.

There's no point questioning him about his relationship with Charles right now - something that would definitely be too raw and painful. Instead, she moves a little closer, resting her forehead on his arm. ]

I'm glad you're here, Erik.

[axiomed]

[ When Charles opens the door, the sight of Raven (safe, breathing, not in the throes of death) and he can't help the unintelligible sound of relief that escapes his mouth as he reaches out for her, still breathing, still alive ]

[athru]

[ The rest of the world fades away completely as Raven goes straight to Charles; it's as if she's suddenly overcome with tunnel vision, and the only thing she can do is fall into the embrace, wrapping her arms around him almost as soon as he reaches out for her. Nothing else matters, and all of the fear, and the panic, and the uncertainty melts away in the one, single, breathless moment. In his arms, the only thing she can do is say his name again, pressing close and squeezing with all her might. ]

You're here.

[axiomed]

[ He's not much better, as his arms wrap themselves tightly around her waist. His composure breaks because he felt her dying and he couldn't do anything to stall it or stop it and every promise he had ever made her turned to ash and dust in Cairo, but she was alive and they were both here. ]

God, Raven, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

[athru]

Don't, it wasn't your fault.

[ It's not said harshly, not when they're both on the edge of emotions bubbling over, and she reaches, wrapping her arms around his neck and moving to press her forehead into his, to lean close and let herself bask in the fact that he's here. There's no little house hiding him from Apocalypse, no hands around her throat, no threat of death on the edge of her vision, and the desperate panic she felt moments before calms, ever so slightly.

She still can't bear the idea of letting go, and she grips at him with all her strength, afraid that if she leans back for even a moment he'll slip through her fingers again, go flying out of sight, the basement all over again. ]

We had to protect you - I wanted to protect you. It's fine, it's - it's done now.

[beathach]

[he's only a moment behind Raven, but when the door opens he simply steps back, to lean against the wall and wait. The rising panic and concern he felt as they landed the shuttle is placated when Charles is the one to answer the door. And he can see Erik in the background and it's more than enough for now, to settle back and let Raven and Charles have as long as they need, uninterrupted]

[athru]

[ Once the moment between her and Charles is done with - and it had been a moment, panic and terror and relief and fear all rolled into a ball of explosive emotions, the two of them practically magnetised and drawn to each other with the rest of the world being ignored - she knows that she's soothed and she's ready. She's checked on Charles, she's found Erik, she knows they're safe and they know, and it means there's only one hurdle left to overcome.

When she's finally gotten to the point where she feels that she can step away from Charles for a moment, Raven moves away and goes back to Hank, stepping over and motioning for him to join her outside. It reminds her of when Charles and Erik were wounded on the Iskaulit, and it's almost fond before she shakes herself and brings her mind back to the present. ]

I'm going to be staying here for a while. Will you...?

[beathach]

[he nods and follows her out without a word, and habit has him shutting the door behind him, just out of habit. To afford them some privacy while giving some to Erik and Charles as well, because surely they -

No, he isn't sure.

But he shoves his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunching a little out of habit. With the panicked feelings faded, he's exhausted, all the way to his bones. He feels like he could sleep for a week and yet he knows the moment he closes his eyes again, all he'll see is a destroyed city]

I'm staying. [if he leaves, it'll only be for a few minutes at most, and he doubts there's much that will take him off the ship. Now that he knows they're fine it's almost automatic, to just fall right back into standing watch in front of the door. He nods to where he was standing earlier] I don't really plan on going anywhere.

[athru]

[ Raven isn't sure what is going to happen between Charles and Erik now. Ten years might have been hard for her and Hank, but neither of them had a long term relationship in that time - neither of them had been married, or had children. Erik had found happiness, without Charles, and had it ripped away from him in the most vicious and cruel manner possible.

Whatever was going to happen between the two of them was for them to figure out. It wasn't her business to go and stick her nose into it, no matter how much she cared for the both of them. Her own words still ring in her ears, memories sharp and sure, heavy around her shoulders. I know you think you've lost everything, but you haven't. You have me, you have Charles...

It's definitely too much for her to think about right now.

Instead, she moves to hover near Hank, not sure of her place anymore. Decade old instinct has her wanting to wrap her arms around him and leave kisses on his skin, but - that was so long ago, and she's just not sure what she ought to do. All she can do is stand, awkward, uncertain and voiceless for a moment. ]

Me neither. This is where I... We need to be. We need to be together right now.

[ Hesitating, she turns her head to look at him. ]

We should probably talk.

[axiomed]

[ Finally - at some point, Raven untangles herself from Charles and goes to check on Erik that Charles can finally look at Hank, his expression carefully smoothing over the creases. ]

Well, if it isn't Professor Hank.

[beathach]

[he hasn't laughed in weeks and this is what breaks that. You son of a bitch, right into bickering they go]

Shut up, professor. [and he leans down to hug him tightly]

[axiomed]

[ He chuckles, patting Hank's back gently. ]

How are you holding up?

[exothermia]

[It's bare seconds after Raven hurtles through the door that Erik exits the room himself, feeling out of place there. He shuts the door behind himself quietly, and looks to Hank finally.]

You as well? [He thinks it's evident, but it never hurts to confirm. Erik leans against the opposite wall, scrubbing a hand over his face.]

[beathach]

[he gives Erik a nod when he emerges from the room, crossing his arms. Everything that comes to mind in response - mostly half-assed jokes - don't seem appropriate at the moment]

It's good to see you again. [and he means it, for all that it was complicated for a while]

[exothermia]

You too. [Little though he'd expected a reunion like this. His eyes flick down the corridor, still empty for now.] The school?

[ later . . . ]

[axiomed]

[ With Raven getting her things from the Blameless and Hank . . . somewhere nearby in his attempt to be innocuous, Charles needed to leave his room. Staying in it right now . . . well, it wasn't helping his mood, much less anything else. He sighs, rubbing his forehead. A lot of the earlier emotions he picked up had quickly burned away his patchwork shields Charles had erected when En-Sabah-Nur died. He hadn't given it proper attention since the aftermath.

( and he was scared to look deeper, to see traces of the man who had towered over him and ruined him in the one place Charles had felt powerful. )

His hand shakes, spilling some of the tea he had just made and Charles curses lightly under his breath. He had to be more than this. He was more than this. Logan would have been pleased. Charles kept his promise, had set his students on the right path (the path that held more violence, but Charles can't protect anyone, much less himself. He had to let go of that instinct to control) and his ghosts had been laid to rest.

Charles sips his tea quietly, reveling in the silence of the ship. . . . Or what was silence. Echoes of a sudden pain lace through his skull and he sets his mug down in shock, trying to block it out. ]

[exothermia]

[The spike of distress and pain was sharp, but thankfully brief. It tapers away after a few seconds, in fits and starts, before going quiet entirely.]

[axiomed]

[ Erik. Charles immediately tamps down the desire to go there and check on him. He can't imagine Erik taking too kindly to that.

The cup shakes and he puts it down once more. ]

[exothermia]

[The silence continues, for over half an hour. Once he's through talking with Raven, Erik finds himself lightheaded. He moves up the corridor, rubbing his temple with a frown. He hasn't eaten in at least a few days, if everyone's reactions to how long they'd been asleep were true. His mind turns to tea or coffee first, though. Something with a more immediate effect.

He wasn't paying much attention, tired and ragged around the edges as he is, to the telltale signs of Charles's hoverchair occupying the kitchen. So he's minorly surprised to see the man sitting there when he arrives.

There's a pause, before he huffs lightly.]

You had the same idea, I see.

night of the 5th

[athru]

[ Raven comes back from checking in on the Blameless and spends the next few hours tidying up around the Heron - it's not exactly her job, or her perogative, but it gives her something to do with her hands and her mind, something brainless and ridiculous while she pulls the pieces of herself back together. She's still a touch confused when she wanders from ship to ship, trying to adjust to the reality of memories that are a decade old, but she thinks it's getting better. It's easier than it was before, at least.

Right now, her bed is the same bed as Charles, and she treks her way back without much hesitation, though she does pause outside the door, glancing to Erik's room. A part of her is waiting for the day where they figure things out and she's kicked out so they can be together again, and she's not offended or insulted by the idea; it simply is. She's accustomed to what they had shared, even if time has changed it, and while she doesn't expect things to be mended perfectly she knows that they mean more to each other than words can express.

They'll figure it out.

Slowly, she pushes open the door, peeking her head in before she slips inside. ]

Hey.

[axiomed]

[ He sits up, putting the book aside. Charles shows no surprise, meaning that his senses are still very much alert and open. ]

Hey yourself.

[athru]

[ She's not shocked, and she moves over to settle down beside him easily, as if she'd never left. She doesn't want to smother him, of course, or do anything that he might end up being frustrated by, so she's been moving around and giving him space. She always comes back, of course, and she softens a little, watching him. ]

How's it going?