perks and rec: the video experience

[stopbleeding]

Who: Chopper and Zoro
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: UH accendo probably
When: 2/28

[Woah, hi Drift Fleet, it’s the Chopper and Zoro show. Meaning, hi, it’s Chopper sitting on Zoro’s shoulder. They’re on some moon somewhere, who cares. That’s not the point. The point is:]

Oi. This is a public servant announcement.

Service, service! You mean service, Zoro.

Huh? Oh. Yeah. Right. Anyway, listen up! Chopper and I have been testing something out. Chopper, tell them.

Huh? Me? [He looks briefly caught off guard with that before clinging to Zoro’s face in a way that lets him lean forward a bit more.] We found out that you can run faster if you don’t wear any underwear!

[Zoro nods (after extracting Chopper off his face).] Yeah. We did tests. I ran faster without it.

By half a second!

It’s a big improvement. [it’s really not.]

Now everyone can run faster, too! Just forget about your underwear and the half seconds will add up! This could save lives!!

[Zoro nods solemnly, then goes to turn off the feed before remembering something.]

Oh. Right. Old man, Shitty Sculptor. Other people. I’m leaving the ship. And everyone else-[He points at the screen for a long moment, tension rising. Then he points to Chopper.]-he’s a reindeer.

[DON’T FORGET IT, ASSHOLES. Chopper smiles and nods, waving at the screen. Bye, nerds. Peace out.]

ooc: Green is Zoro, pink is Choppa

Comments

la..te..... oops ... video

[ino]

[ Stares at the screen. This is probably the weirdest post she's seen, and that's saying something ]

You do realize that your underwear weighs almost nothing compared to the rest of your clothing, right?

never late

[stopbleeding]

Weighs enough to make a difference. But that's a good point. Another guy mentioned it too. I haven't tried racing naked yet.

<3

[ino]

Well, if you want what weighs enough to make a difference, the hair on your head and your body create wind resistance too.

[ Ino what are you doing ]

Re: <3

[stopbleeding]

[ino do you have something against his grass mullet]

If that's the case why haven't you done it?

[ino]

[ An offended huff! ]

I'm already plenty fast without having to do something like that.

[stopbleeding]

[He snorts, amused.]

That's a cop-out. You can always do better. But suit yourself. If you're fine with being inferior, I won't stop you.

[ino]

[ Smugly: ]

Inferior to who? Teleporting is instant, whether I shave my head or not.

[stopbleeding]

Teleporting's boring. You're relying on a power to make up for your own inabilities.

[unless you can do cool stuff with it then it's ok maybe]

1/2

[ino]

[ She can ... switch places with a log? Yeah, who knows, Naruto ninjas are weird. ]

If it's to get to a certain place as quickly as possible, boring or not, it's the most effective way to do it.

[ino]

Besides, isn't trying to run without your underwear just relying on something weird to make up for your inabilities?

i'm so ashamed of this tag

[stopbleeding]

No. It's relying on my natural abilities. I'm hanging loose.

And you could just run there. If you were fast enough.

CRYING

[ino]

[ She makes a disgusted face. ]

What kind of idiot are you? Do you even know anything about aerodynamics?

[stopbleeding]

[He smiles.]

Nope. Not my job to worry about that.

[ino]

That's exactly what you were asking about though!

[stopbleeding]

I wanted to know if it'd make a difference, not how it would. So long as it works, why should I care how it does it?

[ino]

If you knew how it worked, then you'd understand that leaving ... [ God, she can't even bring herself to say this. ] ... parts flying around is exactly what slows you down.

[stopbleeding]

[Oh no. He can't leave that alone.]

Parts, huh?

[tsundeere]

It must weigh enough to make a difference of half a second!

Either that, or it's just the mindset...

[ino]

Unless your underwear is made of lead, it's probably more of the latter.

[tsundeere]

B-but it doesn't matter, as long as we're faster because of it!

Actually, I'm the same, since I don't wear any normally...

[ino]

[ ... Right, he's a deer ... thing, isn't he? Deer don't usually wear underwear. She's pretty used to the talking animals so it didn't ... even really occur to her ... ]

If you really wanted to be fast, you could train with weights on you. Then when you take them off it'll be much easier to run faster.

[tsundeere]

That's a good point...! But I wonder if my legs would get tired...

[Of course they would, Chopper...] Right now, if I want to go fast, I just change forms!

[ino]

Change forms? Are you a shapeshifter?

[tsundeere]

I guess you could call it that! Since I'm part human, I can change to a bunch of different points between human and reindeer!

[ino]

Part human and part reindeer ... ?

I can't say I've ever heard that one before.