driftfleet | Iskaulit Mingle - Problems with Psychics

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Iskaulit Mingle - Problems with Psychics

Who: Anyone on the Iskaulit!
Broadcast: If you'd like?!
Action: Iskaulit!
When: Today, as Sora's augment glitch starts.

[It's your average day on the Iskaulit. Absolutely nothing seems out of place initially, but without any warning- you might find yourself or your friends experiencing some problems. What's up on that?

In other words, it's an Iskaulit mingle with a twist! Come on in everyone! You don't need to interact with Sora to have it effect you, so feel free to start your own threadstarter! Or talk to Sora, that's cool too. ]

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[ That just makes her breathe out, sharply, and there's something thick and painful in her throat - and all she can do is nod her head, rubbing her finger along the red marking. ]

My best friend gave me something to protect. I didn't really know what it was, not really, just that it was powerful and I was supposed to hide it from the monarchs - so I did. I put it in a blood magic mirror and I kept it a secret from everyone... Until the Queen summoned me and told me she knew about it. She told me that she knew, and that she needed it, and that - that I had to give it to her. And I trusted her, I really did. She said that I was brave, that I had done the right thing, hiding it from this other man, called Reynard, because he would use it to destroy everything. I made a vow to my best friend and I broke it because I trusted the King and Queen, because I thought I was doing the right thing. She said there was spirit in there, too, and it died, and it was someone's brother, and I -

[ Hermione breathes out, her hands clenched on her lap, squeezing her eyes shut even tighter. It hurts, deep in her chest, and she feels tears welling up in her eyes. All of this is years old, now, but guilt still bites at her. 'A girl's promise. Not my secret knight, but my brave sorceress. Your bravery and goodness are all the armour and sword you need, my darling.' ]

The monarchs took that sigil and used it against their enemies. The power of the thing I gave them toppled a castle, and inside hundreds of people were trapped. The power I gave them ended up murdering innocent people, servants and people without shards that were caught up in a war. Then my friend's mentor found out who I was and what I had done, and we met at a tournament. She demanded a duel, to the death, to make up for my lost honour, my broken vow. I knew I was going to die, there was no way I could beat someone in a rapier duel without magic, and... And I went, because I had no other choice.

[ Hermione traces her scar again and breathes out, whispering words aloud because she has no other option. ]

'Reputation is what other people know about you. Honour is what you know about yourself.' She cut me instead of killing me, and let me go. My punishment was to remember, forever, and to bleed for my crime.

[ he pulls her into his arms, and holds tightly, securely. he can imagine this pain, he can practically feel it - it takes him back to his awful impossible choice, but he was saved from the consequences because he had supergirl.

he's so lucky. he only wishes hermione was, too. ]

It's not your fault. [ his voice is choked up but firm, he feels for her, he feels so much, his chest hurts but he pushes it down. ] You tried to do the right thing, and that's all any of us can do. We can't know the future, it could've just as easily been the right choice. It's not on you, it's on them. And if you need more proof of the wonderful person you are -- it's right here, in how torn up about this you are. You're a good person, Hermione. I'm not going anywhere.

[ The problem is that Hermione doesn't know how to cope, not really. She's done terrible things and they play in front of her mind more than she can possibly admit, and she loathes herself for it. At the time it was the right choice, the only choice, but now, looking back...

(What other option did she have? Solais could have taken it anyway and left her dead asleep and never let her wake up, she could have kept the Sigil and been poisoned with it, or Reynard could have found her, anything could have happened, but Harry's voice rings in her ears.)

Tilting her head up, she looks up at Winn, trying to draw herself back but not having the will. She's crying, now, and tries to rub her tears away, trying to be stronger and taller. ]

It's not fair. All those people didn't deserve to die, Winn. Not because of me.

It wasn't because of you, Hermione. It wasn't.

[ he wouldn't let her pull away, not when she's crying, not when he knows she'll only be doing it because of some screwed up notion that she doesn't deserve the comfort - he knows that mindset. he is that mindset. it's bullshit. ]

If you'd have known, you would've fought, wouldn't you. Done everything in your power to keep it out of their hands, right? That's who you are. You didn't kill those people, you're as much a victim as they are.

[ The problem is that... That isn't what Harry said to her. Even now, years later, they had never quite overcome their differences, not really. He had shown her what happened, he had called her out, told her she'd betrayed him, that it was her fault, and she had no reason not to believe him - not Harry. John and Remus and Lancelot had come with her to her duel but she had known; she'd known they'd felt the same judgement she felt heavy in her chest.

Leaning into him, she breathes out, quietly, shivering a little from her tears. ]

I should have done something. I was the Sorceress - Protectress. I didn't protect anyone.

[ he would slap all of them in the face. and then hide behind kara and kitty. ]

You're one person. You're one really strong person - but you're still just one person. You can't do everything. And that's not true anyway - I'm sure you protected plenty of others, right? How many people did you save, help, given hope to? I know it's tempting to judge yourself on your downfalls but...you have to count the good. It happened too, and it's what you meant to do.

[ Tilting her head up, she looks over at him, hesitating before she blinks back tears. ]

I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself, Winn. For all the things I've done.

[ he gently wipes her cheek, and just looks at her for a moment. ]

I almost did something terrible once too, some nights...I still have nightmares about it. But when I told Jim about it, do you know what he said? He told me - that the fact that I feel so bad about it proves that I'm not a monster, that I could never be the kind of person who's capable of doing those kinds of things. Our guilt is a badge of honor - it's proof that we care. But...it doesn't mean that we can't cut ourselves a little slack. You deserve happiness, Hermione, you deserve to know that you're a good person, who just was put in so many unfair situations and did the best you could.

[ Swallowing a little, Hermione tilts her head up. ]

I... I just wish it would stop hurting. Stop haunting me.

I know.

[ softly. he does. more than anything he wishes there was an easy fix - for her pain, for kitty's, kara's, jim's...everyone's. but maybe this is it, this is the fix, talking about it and supporting each other.

he tightens his hold on her. ]

I don't know if it ever really goes away but...talking about it, it helps. I won't judge you, not for this or for anything, so you can always talk to me. I'll know what a good person you are for you, until you're ready to know it yourself.

[ It makes her sniffle, and turn her head into Winn's side, to let herself be wrapped up around him - it's something she hasn't sought out since she came here and left Dorian behind with Diarmuid and John and Gilgamesh. The few people in the Drabwurld who had seen her like this: vulnerable. ]

That might take years, Winn.

[ But at least there's a ghost of a smile on her face. ]

I got time.

[ he smiles a little in return, stroking her hair. as long as the atroma doesn't send either of them back or onward to another kidnapping world, it'll take that long to figure out how to punch a hole in the universe and get back. ]

You got room for one more big brother? [ he already counts her as another little sister, someone he wants to take care of, always be there for. he cared for her long before she was dating his bro. ]

I think we both do.

[ At least it's said a little more optimistically, and Hermione tilts her head up to watch him before.. It makes her huff a quiet noise, but she can't deny she's a touch happy. ]

I think with all the big brothers I'm finding myself with Cisco is going to be in for a treat.

[ that makes him laugh ]

I wouldn't know who I'm supposed to protect here.

[ cisco's his twin, she's his baby sis. he trusts both of them to be good to each other. ]

I think Cisco has dibs.

[ She does wiggle a little, suddenly shy. ]

I was going to talk to him, actually...

Okay - if you hurt my friend I will...frown at you.

[ casually, can you tell how worried he is? it's humongous amounts! they're just in the negative end of the chart. ]

Good. You should.

[ It makes her laugh, and she leans closer, resting against him. ]

I'm not sure I could survive a frown.

[ But then she huffs a noise. ]

I do really like him, you know.

[ he rubs her arm fondly. ]

I do know. It's you two that take your time catching up.

[ She wrinkles her nose. ]

I am not that obvious.

No, but Cisco's that great. [ nudge ]

[ Oh my god, she's definitely pink. ]

He is... Great. Amazing.

[ that's so cute hermione. ]

I'm really happy for you.

We haven't agreed on anything yet!

[ he shakes his head with a smile but ok ok he'll hold a hand up in mock surrender. ]

You're one of those big brothers. The teasing ones.

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