Iskaulit Mingle - Problems with Psychics

[notzubats]

Who: Anyone on the Iskaulit!
Broadcast: If you'd like?!
Action: Iskaulit!
When: Today, as Sora's augment glitch starts.

[It's your average day on the Iskaulit. Absolutely nothing seems out of place initially, but without any warning- you might find yourself or your friends experiencing some problems. What's up on that?

In other words, it's an Iskaulit mingle with a twist! Come on in everyone! You don't need to interact with Sora to have it effect you, so feel free to start your own threadstarter! Or talk to Sora, that's cool too. ]

Comments

[wolfuncaged]

[He nods, getting up toe retrieve it, throwing it on the fire to douse it out. He remains standing for a moment, silent. The honest answer is that he never thought to say anything about it. He'd been forced to become adjusted to it, it never mattered if he liked it or not. His pain was Danarius' delight. ]

It's not your fault. You didn't do it to me.

[He looks down at the little bucket he'd got the water in, before moving to place it back behind the bar. His movements are careful, methodical. ]

It is what it is, Adalwolfe. I've had to learn to live with it. I quite literally didn't remember a time I didn't have that in my life.

[He looks down at his hands, unmarred. He had wondered, what he looked like, without the brands. Now he knows, at the cost of someone else receiving his burden.]

If I had said anything, nothing would change. You couldn't stop using your magic, not in battle. Just like Anders couldn't stop healing people. Worse, if you'd tried to stop using it around me, you would have likely got yourselves killed- given the times you've had to use it the countless times people have attacked us.

['I don't need your pity', that is festering down in his chest, but he doesn't say it. It won't help matters, and he doesn't really mean it in the way it would no doubt be taken. Feeling sorry about it changes nothing. He is what he is. Danarius' final victory over him, he supposes. ]

[wolfehawke]

No, but I...

[What, would have been more careful? Wouldn't have brought Fenris along save on errands where magic was likely to be cast? He already did that for interpersonal reasons. Fenris is right that it wouldn't have changed anything, but even so he can't help but lament that he didn't know. Not for that, but because of what he's trying to do now. To actually get to know Fenris, the good and the bad, and find some kind of common bond that tells him he's not insane for caring about the damn elf when back home he'd tried to chop Hawke in half out of prejudice.]

It wouldn't have changed anything in action, no. It couldn't, not with what was going on, but I do want to know when I'm hurting someone I care about. It's never something I want to do. I have to wonder if you - the you from my Thedas - resented that I never thought to ask.

[How could Wolfe have asked, when he had no idea? But that logic doesn't enter his head. All he sees is where he did wrong, all the flaws in his best intentions. It's all he ever sees. At the very least, it shows it isn't pity, but something more internalized to Hawke. His fault somehow, inevitably, because everything is somehow his fault, and therefore his responsibility to make it right. Its been ingrained into him since he was a child. Be an example, protect and keep safe, and any failing of that whether he could have done something or not is a deep cut in him.

Not for the first time, he wonders if he deserves the great scar down his chest, the last memory of his Fenris or perhaps deserved worse. He couldn't, not in that final showdown. He had to get to Meredith, had to defend the mages, there was no way he could be allowed to lose that fight. But the cost...

He runs his fingers over his shirt, rumpling the vest that's part of his bartender uniform as he traces the scar, and looks grimly at the lit candle.]

[wolfuncaged]

[Fenris pauses, considering, his eyebrows knitted in a frown. ]

My Hawke never asked, and I didn't especially resent him for it. I resented him for a lot of things, but not that. People generally don't ask about it.

[Either because they're afraid to or they don't want to breach the subject. Perhaps, like Adalwolfe, they don't even realise it at all. He's never really held it against anyone. It's just a thing he has to live with.

Still, even Fenris isn't completely without ability to sense the tone of a room. He looks at Adalwolfe, watching that hand movement and sighs. ]

I am not your Fenris, I cannot guess what would have changed to make me turn against you. But I can promise you, it would not be that.

[wolfehawke]

Mm.

[He hears Fenris, but isn't sure what else to say besides giving a noise of acknowledgement. He knows it's not this one thing that would have made the elf stand against him. It's a collection of little things, a lack of understanding between them even when Adalwolfe would have gladly helped Fenris with anything, asked or not. He'd just kept too much distance because he'd thought that was what Fenris wanted. Maybe that was what Fenris wanted, just... not what he needed.]

No, I know some of what it was.

[His fingers stay where they are, moving as if the scar underneath aches. Perhaps it does.]

I wasn't there enough. Didn't show you - him - that I could be trusted.

[He sighs and drops his hands, then gives an awkward sort of half smile with little mirth behind it.]

Sorry, we should be dealing with magic, not my idiot mistakes.

[wolfuncaged]

[Fenris heaves out a deep sigh. ]

It it matters for anything I feel that I can trust you. I would not be sitting here doing this with you if I did not.

[wolfehawke]

[Those words catch Adalwolfe and he looks up at Fenris with widened eyes. Of course it makes sense logically. If Fenris doesn't trust someone, he's not going to give them the time of day. He's seen it plain enough with Anders. But to actually hear him say that Wolfe has his trust is something... He never thought he'd hear it, even if it's what he's worked towards with this Fenris. Should have all along, back home, too. He thought he had but if that was so, he would have tried harder, surely? Or is it the differences? Sebastian, or this new time and place, that makes this possible.

Whatever it is, he's not going to squander it. If Fenris judges him as trustworthy than that's not just a gift, that's something he's earned, and he should strive to remain worthy of that.

Adalwolfe clears his throat and bows his head a bit, trying uncharacteristically not to show just how much that means to him.]

Right. Well.

[He clears his throat again.]

You've got how the fire feels down. Now it's just learning how to work with it without collateral damage.

[wolfuncaged]

[He would be right. It was hard earned. Fenris didn't give his trust out easily. He exhales softly, looking at the candle. Right. More magic learning. That's what they were there for. ]

...So to manipulate the flames?

[wolfehawke]

Sort of.

[He licks the pads of his fingers, feeling a bit like he's licking foil in the act for all the lyrium. It gives him pause for a moment, but then he shakes his head and pinches out the candle.]

Do it again, only this time just the candle.

[wolfuncaged]

[Fenris keeps a quiet eye on him before focusing on the candle once more.]

...Right.

[He reaches out with his finger, brow furrowing. For a few moments nothing happens, then he feels the surge and flow of the magic. A part of him still baulks against it, pulls away, protects himself from it. He tries to fight it, however, just so he can do this, to make himself safe. A spark flickers and lights the candle.

He doesn't look exactly pleased about it, it's still magic. But he did it. Yay.]

[wolfehawke]

Good job.

[Adalwolfe smiles at Fenris for the effort. It's a tentative thing, knowing just by the look on the elf's face that this entire thing is not a triumph for him, just a continuation of the hell he's caught in concerning magic, but it's still progress. It's also a tentative thing because it still causes a great deal of discomfort to have Fenris drawing mana from his skin. At least this time he was ready for it.

Again he pinches out the flame, just as his father did when teaching him.]

Light it again.

wrap?

[wolfuncaged]

[Fenris lets out a soft, annoyed huff. This...is going to get very repetitious, very quickly. But he knows it must happen. He closes his eyes, exhaling softly. And repeats. Eventually, he gets the candle to light every time, so hooray for him.

He absolutely is not happy about it though. Grouchiest student ever.]

wrap!

[wolfehawke]

[And around they go, Adalwolfe not letting up until can light the candle expertly with little effort. Yes, good on him, especially considering Adalwolfe had thrown a fit at this father the first time he'd made him repeat this exercise over and over. Granted, Wolfe had been barely twelve and his life had very suddenly gotten a lot more complicated with the advent of his magic. Fenris is older, and won't have to deal with it for all that much longer probably.

Hopefully.

Maker, but he does want his magic back...

At least this serves a purpose, though. Maybe a bit more understanding between them. He won't hold his breath, but a Champion can dream.]