driftfleet | (no subject)

I try not to do the secret thing with her. Or with anyone, I hate secrets.

[ keeping guardian a secret again is hard enough, he doesn't need any more. ]

All they do is make me anxious, and they always end up blowing up in your face.

Um...yeah. I've been told they do that a lot here especially. Like those rumors that came out. [Thinking of the break he and Kara were on because of the Natasha secret which he'd really never meant as a secret, and yet that's how it felt to Kara. But there is a real secret that he can't quite let go of.

Yeah - or compulsion glitches, those are great. [ dripping with sarcasm ] No better way to reveal a secret you're nervous about than compulsively blurt it out to anyone you come across.

Did that happen to you?

Yeah, and it sucked. Take my word for it - if you have any secrets, tell Kara before the Atroma do it for you.

Is that what you've done? [He's glad Winn has flying to focus on instead of his face because it is probably saying too much.]

Nope, but I'm a coward. Don't be me.

[ actually, he still hasn't told kara. ]

I don't think I'm winning any awards for bravery anytime soon.

[ he glances his way again. ]

Why do you say that?

Well, I'm no Kara, right? [Smiling because nothing is serious here. No worries! No thoughts about being a secret prince!]

So? Only Kara is Kara. Not being Kara doesn't mean not being brave.

Are you saying you think I'm brave?

Pft, I'm saying I know you are.

I think I heard you wrong. It sounded like you said you know I am.

No, that's what I said.

[ he frowns at him ]

Okay - what is going on with you?

Nothing. Why do you think something is going on with me?

Could have something to do with you being weird. Come on, man, you can talk to me.

........There might be things I mislead you all about on my life in Daxam.

[And he both wants to tell so that isn't some secret revealed out from under him, but he also wants to leave it in his past and never think about it again. It shouldn't matter anymore, right? Except it might matter. What if he loses everything over it? Is it worth that kind of risk just to not have it hanging over him?]

...okay.

[ quiet, encouraging. he's listening if mon-el wants to talk. ]

I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want it to come up.

I get it, Mon-El. I totally get it. But this is what the Atroma do - they dredge up the things we don't wanna talk about. Wouldn't it be better to do it under your own terms? And I mean, it might make you feel better, too, it's obviously weighing on you. You don't have to tell me anything but - you should talk to Kara.

What if she doesn't want to see me again after she finds out?

Do you really wanna be in a relationship with someone you don't trust with the truth?

It's not like that. I love her. I don't want to lose her again. I didn't even realize the thing with Natasha was going to be a problem and it was and this... [This he has always worried would be a problem.]

Then learn from it, Mon-El. If you don't trust her, how can she trust you? I know it's scary, but whatever it is - it can't be that bad.

[ cuz mon-el is a good guy. what could he have even mislead them about? he doesn't remember him telling them all that much about daxam to begin with... ]