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[ apple pie is an apter comparison than she'll ever know. peggy's not made much, but she's made an apple pie. once. and from sarah rogers's recipe to boot -- jim barnes gave it to her. and like most things in life, she'd learned that doing it for steve's sake alone leaves her a little hollow.

like finding an even keel with natasha: she's got to do it for herself. not for anyone else. ]

You mentioned fixing things. [ actually, she'd mentioned that there wasn't anything there to be fixed. but peggy loops back around to the sentiment. curt and honest. ] But I think I'd rather scrap what's come before and work on replacing it with something better.

[Can you though? Natasha isn't so convinced that works for people. But if that's the way that Peggy needs to think of it, that's the way she needs to think about it. Now isn't the time for an argument over sementics.

Natasha risks a question now. She figures if there's an answer she's entitled to, it's this one.]

Is that what you want? Something fresh with me?

[ there's a note of reproach in her eyes -- but no more, really, than might be expected when met with a direct question under these circumstances. all in all, the way she chafes under her glitch is little more than a standard deviation of her mood. an allowable threshold of annoyance, serving to catapult her past the worst of this moment.

peggy is silent. for a beat, for two, and then she nods. ]

I think I would. Yes.

[ context is important, perhaps, but peggy offers none of it. having remembered more from home, knowing natasha in the first place feels more distanced -- like memories from before that haven't quite managed to slot themselves firmly into place. now's the time to strike and make better while the thoughts are still malleable.

for her, at least. ]

[Natasha snorts, her lips twitching, head shaking. The worst thing about all this is that it makes Steve right, more or less. Not about the particulars. But it did change things know someone wanted to be your friend.

She has no intention of telling him that.]

In that case... I'd like to try.

[ another nod -- firmer, this time. more certain. that wasn't so bad, was it? perhaps this honesty thing has its uses. ]

And we could start with me imploring you not to breathe a word to anyone else about any rules.

[ nope. no. being truthful still sucks eggs. she looks mortified the moment the words leave her lips. ]

Edited 2017-09-03 15:59 (UTC)

It doesn't go any further than me. [But that doesn't mean Natasha is going to forget about it. And while she wont ask questions Peggy has to answer, when Peggy brings it up again, it's hard to let it pass entirely.] I still can't believe you have rules about that.

[ and maybe natasha's right. maybe the protocol is starting to outstay its usefulness. but in those early days, when both steve and she had been humbled by the opportunity before them? waypoints had felt necessary. she didn't want to get lost in what they had. more importantly, she didn't want to forget that her first priority is to the ship. for peggy, it felt no different than years earlier when she'd started going steady with fred wells.

back then, it'd been bletchley's barracks instead of a ship. she hails from a time where even lodging houses kept strict curfews and rules for its residents -- there is a secrecy and a shame attached that she's never been able to quite shake. for all her progressive nature, she's far from a perfect specimen of open-mindedness.

and steve is her first mate. there are a helluva lot of honest answers she can give, but peggy clears her throat and allows her inclination to settle on only one. ]

Let's call it a precaution, then. Instead of a rule. [ ... ] I'd rather not test the sound-proofing.

[ she cards her fingers testily through her hair and glances up at the ceiling. it's rare, really, that she can't meet a person's eyes. ]

[Natasha clears her throat. At least that confirms Steve and Peggy were having sex, she supposes. Just less than Natasha had imagined.

Strange to think that there's a good chance she and Barnes have seen more action than the two of them though.

She snorts and shakes her head.]

You know some people—not to name names but some people—when they're faced with a problem like that, might just be quieter.

Easier said than done, I'm afraid.

[ oh, her tone is dry. she is unhappy with just about every facet of this. except perhaps the ways in which one might read into the words problem like that. still, she manages not to deliver too incisive a glance. ]

[Natasha raises both of her hands n mock surrender.]

I'm only saying, that is an option.

As options go, it's one of the more unlikely ones. [ which tells altogether too much, doesn't it? peggy scrubs her palm across her jaw. her nose crinkles. it's almost as though she's a few breaths short of boasting-up steve's, well, attentiveness. ]

Short of being gagged. [ oh christ, no, boasting-up steve would have been an altogether better prospect. peggy saws a hand through the air. ] Oh, my giddy aunt Nora. This is truly cruel and unusual.

[ the glitch, that is. not natasha. natasha's only really asked the one question. natasha, indeed, has been downright polite about it. ]

[Natasha shakes her head, a look of amusement on her face. Not at Peggy's expense, but there is something funny about all this.]

If I were in your position, I can promise you my language would be much worse.

If you were in my position, you would have named names.

[ peggy snags onto that construction -- those words -- that natasha had used earlier. ]

Well. Very possibly, yes.

[That's how it works, isn't it?]

And I think we'd both rather not have it come to that.

Oh, I don't know. A bit of quid pro quo might be comforting.

[ notably, however, she's not asking. although natasha is free to lie through her teeth, peggy won't put her in that position just now.

there are some small mercies remaining. ]

Somehow, I don't believe you're actually all that interested in my sex life. I suppose I could be wrong about that too, but all things considered...

[Still very consciously not asking questions that she might have under other circumstances.]

-- There's been speculation.

[ oh, damn, whoops. she was hoping to get through this without tossing steve under the bus alongside herself but it's pretty obvious that if speculation's been had, it's been had with him. ]

Not by you. [That much is very obvious. And that narrows down the list.] No one's mentioned it to me.

Well. That's just the thing, isn't it? Neither of us are the mentioning sort.

[ neither her nor steve. whatever they might have speculated upon, considered, or discussed regarding the private lives of friends and colleagues has stayed firmly behind those doors. quiet, furtive, and kept to themselves.

until now, it seems. whoops. ]

[A quick bark of laughter at that.]

So I'm the subject of gossip. Got it. Won't be the first time.

[And neither Steve nor Peggy are stupid or oblivious. Still...

Natasha crosses her arms, tapping her fingers against one bicep once in a thoughtful progression. She's probably being unfair. And it's not as though her love life is exactly a secret, either. Wrath knows. Hell, probably all of Heron does, if they care enough to think about it at all.

But that doesn't mean she's sure she wants to volunteer anything. For so long this thing with her and Barnes has seemed fragile. That first time she kissed him on the mouth, she was half sure he'd run away. When she told him she wanted him to kiss her back, the look on his face... as though it were a surprise, as though he couldn't have predicted that she'd be interested in something like that.

It's been a while since that was a fear though, and the one good thing to come out of calibrations seems to be how it pushed them past their last hesitation.

They are good together.

Maybe it's hypocritical of Natasha to expect Peggy and Steve to share their happiness while quietly hiding her own? Not the first or worst way Natasha has ever been a hypocrite, but still. Her lips twitch.]

Well, you can tell speculators that if there's something on their mind they should just ask.

[ it's not gossip. though peggy won't begrudge the word -- but she would argue that she's been the butt of gossip in the past and the very mild, very respectful exchange she and steve shared on the subject had been nothing like that crass indulgence. they'd made note of the pair at the party on telluria, made note of a few details beyond that, and then resolved to let the other pair come to that confession on their own with no nudges nor no meddling needed.

but for all the whole lot of them keep to themselves, there's still a notable line in the sand dividing them up. ]

That's just it. I doubt he feels he needs to ask. I know I don't. [ 'quid pro quo' being only a concept tied to the very imbalanced nature of this particular conversation. and, perhaps, to signal a bit of intel that peggy believed she'd already known. ] Didn't. Before -- [ a twirl of her finger. ] Even now, I'm not asking.

[ but! she crinkles her nose. ]

If he did ask, [ she's still speaking of steve, ] and if he knew for certain? I know he'd be pleased. For the pair of you.

I'm sure he would be. [And maybe that was part of why it hasn't been mentioned. His being happy for them, the pressure of his attention, might have seemed like too much of a risk before.

Now...?] I'll let him know once I know for certain what to say.

I'd offer my assurances that you'll have that opportunity to let him know first but -- [ a crinkle of her nose. look at her life just now, romanoff. look at her troubles. ]

For what it's worth -- I should just about manage not to spill the beans. It isn't as though the topic is one commonly raised between us. [ ... ] And certainly not recently.

[ too many other things to talk about. ]

[Natasha waves her hand just a little, not bothering to unfold her arms.]

I trust your judgment on that. Honestly, I'm not too worried about it.

-- Perhaps I envy you your cool-headedness on the matter.

[ which is an odd thing to say. but doubtless natasha can recall how even more tight-lipped peggy had been nearer to when steve had first arrived in the fleet. she'd always, always, always worried about the optics.

she'd been burned by the chatter after the war. it was a challenge to risk inviting that back onto herself once more. she'd had to learn, slowly, that the people in the fleet didn't talk like the people in the office. ]

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