002 - Looks like a discoball and tastes like strawberries and dreams

[wolfuncaged]

Who: Fenris and you!
Broadcast: Video: Fleetwide
Action: Tourist.
When: Today. SPONSOR DROP for all characters who have started a romance aboard the Fleet



[Fenris had a very unsettled night, sleep wasn't the cards after his run in with Cole. Eventually, he does leave his armory to find breakfast. He goes by way of the cargo hold (just to check the horrible little wretch isn't lurking there) but instead finds a gift basket with his name on. Fenris can't read the rest of what's on it, but the gift basket is full of condoms, lubes and other sundries that only naked people will really have use for. Emblazoned on everything is Madame Gertrude's Pleasure Barn. Not only has Fenris been given one, but any character who have decided to indulge in a little romance, up to and including flirting has been sent one. The Fleet has got itself a sponsor. For today, at least.

Fenris is well aware what these things are (thanks, Exisilium) so it's with a largely bemused expression that he turns on his communicator, pointing at the...gift. ]

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who has been given one of these today. I suppose Atroma expects us to be grateful? Though it is roughly as subtle as a brick to the face.

Comments

action;

[mysterzie]

[ This one requires Aaron to show up in person since Mattias actually has some. ]

Okay, how come you get them?

[noctiphile]

[oh great a personal visit from his favorite camper]

I don't know! Do I look like a butcher? Perhaps it was meant for the others.

[He pops open another, nose wrinkling at the artificial scent.] Is that supposed to be cherries? Why would you need a cherry-flavored sausage?

[mysterzie]

[ Aaron is both laughing and staring in disbelief at the same time. This is perfect. ]

The only sausage that would be wrapping is the one between your legs, idiot!

[noctiphile]

The one between my—[Oh.]—Oh, god. Is that what it's for?

[mysterzie]

Thank God, you got it. I was about to draw you a diagram.

[noctiphile]

[R U D E]

And how do you know, exactly? Are these—[he's waggling one about]—things common for you?

[mysterzie]

Duh. [ Aaron rolls his eyes. ] You don't use one of those, you could get people sick or get sick yourself or, you know, get a girl pregnant? It's totally a requirement.

[noctiphile]

[A flat look.]

I know what it does. I've simply never seen one for a man.

[He studies it again, extending it as far as it can go and snapping it back.]