driftfleet | 'cause it's better than nothing

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'cause it's better than nothing

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(last updated: 1/25/19)

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[The dinosaur gets a squint but currently doesn't prove to be dangerous. For that reason he continues on, not recognizing a large portion of the items here. However, there is something about this boy...

It's when he speaks that he knows and when he moves further to see the rest of the outfit he can confirm. This is Robin. Without the mask that he always wears now. Something he will question him on later because it appears this version of Robin does not recognize him as not belonging here.

Looking to the folders, he squints at them. None of them mean anything to him.

He picks the second thickest one and tilts his head at the feeling, looking at it again as he opens it to see what the meaning of such a feeling is.]

You see Robin slinking his way down the steps you yourself just descended, you can tell he's running late, so very very late. The memory supplies you with the information that it was Father's Day and he was supposed to be having dinner with Bruce but there had been this purse snatcher on a motorcycle that he'd been chasing who had suddenly been blown up via mortar strike by The Jury; twelve guys with way too much firepower on their hands.

And now he has to slink his way back into the cave late, injured and you can hear voices talking in the distance.

You see a large imposing man dressed in dark armour, his cape only adding to an intimidating silhouette, his voice is gruff and angry, as he pulls on the cowl similar to the one Robin wears now. "I'm not going to go to look for Tim, I'm going on patrol. If I happen to find Tim, that's just a coincidence.

The clear British accent that replies sounds truly sceptical. The man is tall thin and balding and in a suit but he holds himself straight and speaks with certainty, "You might as well call it what it is sir, since the adoption, your feelings have become paternal. Personally, I think it's grand. But I remind you, Master Tim is as capable now as he was before-"

"Sorry, I'm late. I got hung up." Robin, well Tim interrupts before Alfred can finish. It sounds flat but the reasons while justified just sound like poor excuses in his head. Bruce would have ended the fight sooner. He wouldn't have gotten hurt and would have made it on time. Even if his brain can supply him all the times Bruce left dates waiting or never turned up at all, he still doesn't matter.

"I know I promised you dinner... but I got into something and it ran longer than I thought." He runs his hands through his hair. There's still blood on his face and holes in this uniform.

The cowl is pulled back and any anger is gone, even the voice seems to change to something softer "Forget about dinner. The important thing is-"

"I got you something. Happy Father's Day, Bruce." Tim interrupts and reaches into his belt and holds out for a little brown jewellery box and placing it within the man's hand. It's shiny like it was brand new but there are scratches along all the edges. "I wanted everything to be perfect, and I ruined dinner but there's still this. Open it."

The watch inside is broken, the face of it barely holding on anymore and what you can see of the tiny working parts on the inside it doesn't look salvageable.

"Um..."

"Damn it!" Must've been a punch I took... Your first Father's Day and I-"

"-did Great Tim." This time it's Bruce who gets to interrupt, placing his hand on Tim's shoulder to stop him continuing. There's no disappointment or anger on his face. He's smiling and looks quite pleased with the gift.

"Did you get the bad guys?"

"Yeah..." Tim replies hesitantly.

"And you came home safe. You made it a perfect Father's Day, Tim." With his hand on his shoulder, Bruce turns Tim around to lead him back up the stairs. Already handing the watch over to Alfred who while the boys talk about trophy cases and scrambled eggs turns it over in his hands to reveal the words

To Bruce From Tim Happy Father's Day

engraved on the back.

And suddenly Kolivan is back holding the folder with Bruce's name on it. A photo of the broken watch sits on the top of many more files but now it has meaning to you. Bruce is someone Robin considers to be his Father now and this was their first Father's Day present.

But the Robin in the memory could not be more than a year or two younger than he is now so this was a recent development. Do you go through more of this folder or do you see about some of the others in Tim's life.

[Is this the mentor? He recalls Robin...Tim mentioning something about one. His expression softens as he looks to the boy in the chair after the memory ends. There are others to look at but in truth he wants to see more of this one.

He looks back to the folder and turns to the next portion.]

The next set of memories come through in a click of a camera. A tiny little boy rushes up a metal set of stairs attached to the outside of a tall brick building. His little feet make the whole thing rattle but he doesn’t slow down for a second.

He slams into the railing at the top of one set of stairs, the older looking camera hanging from his neck gets grabbed and held up to his face.

Moments later there’s a dark shadow seems to fall over the younger Tim and what seems like the image of a devil soars overhead, its wings seem to stretch miles across the whole city. It is a presence that is larger than life and death itself and you can feel the excitement that just pours from Tim as he takes photo after photo in quick succession.

The shadow passes and seconds later the light returns as another boy a handful of years older follows him, a happy yell of joy echoes down and it’s like he’s the source of light behind the darkness.

There’s a click of the shutter and you see another moment on another building. You see the tiny little boy climb the tallest of buildings, find precarious perches, fall, get back up again, run and hide from dangerous criminals all in the name of gathering dozens and dozens of photos of this Batman and Robin.

The memory flashes out with another click and you are left holding a photo of the clouds above Gotham. A symbol of the Bat lighting up the clouds in the dark sky. It’s a beautiful photo, they all are really, and you can maybe appreciate them a little more knowing how much work the nine-year-old put into getting them or maybe you’re more disturbed at the danger he put himself in for them or the level of the obsession that went unchecked.

(CW: Next one is gonna be all death and blood)

[He's mildly impressed at the work but only sets the picture down as he shifts the folder to see how much more he has to go.

And then he turns the page again.]

Tim rides into the Batcave on his Redbird, a motorcycle you can feel he loves but more prominent is a feeling of confidence and pride. Something has changed recently and Tim no longer feels like an imposter in a Robin suit. Tonight he feels like he’s his own Robin. Not just Robin number three, Robin-in-Training, a temporary replacement. No tonight he feels like Batman’s full partner.

So much so that when he pulls into the cave, swerving his bike to a stop in front of Bruce, that he doesn’t notice that the man isn’t in said armour. He’s in a suit he would wear to work, in public. His expression is stony but Tim doesn’t notice.

The boy rambles on excitedly about bringing in a new criminal. The Presser, a ridiculous name from a ridiculously easy to subdue criminal. Tim happily rambles on as Bruce just stares at him stone-faced.

Tim mistakes it for disappointment in himself, maybe concern.

“Don’t look at me like that Bruce. I’m not quitting, and I’ve decided to stop moping around here all the time. I’m back!” This feels like something they should celebrate but Bruce looks like he could be attending a future soon.

“Tim will you quit babbling and listen for a second.” Listening? Bruce hadn’t said anything. Alfred had mentioned something upstairs?
“Oops, sorry Boss-man. What’s up?”

“Your father is here.”

Oh no. Tim turns and it’s true. His father, Jack Drake stands on a higher platform with Alfred staring down at them. You can feel panic well up in Tim’s chest at his appearance in the cave. He's not supposed to be here, not supposed to know about Robin, about Batman. None of it. Tim has been sneaking out for years even before he became Robin and neither of his parents had ever noticed.

What ensues next is one of the biggest arguments of Tim’s life. He says things he will always regret, other things he didn’t even know he was thinking. His father yells, Bruce yells, at each other and then at him. For a second it’s like both his father figures are aligned in their anger at him.

In the end, it doesn’t even matter. The night starts with Tim being proud, confident and feel good in his position as Robin and ends with the words.

“I quit. I’m no longer Robin.”

[He quit? Yet he still goes by Robin. How is that true if he quit?

Kolivan frowns deeply and wonders why this other father would have so much meaning in this decision. It almost feels like this Bruce...this Batman...has been more a father to him than the other.

So why...

He looks over at the boy's back. Why let one man end it all by being there?]

[The boy in question has turned and is watching Kolivan in turn]

Are you finished with that file? Do you have any questions about it's contents. Something I can clarify for you?

[So he's watching him now. Very well, he will ask then.]

How are you Robin now if this file suggests you stopped?

My father threatened the identity of Batman and by extension the identities of a lot of different heroes. I had to quit in order not just for that but because he's my father and I had spent so many years lying to him. It had to stop.

It only lasted a few months though. I was not very good at being a normal kid and when the lives of my classmates were threatened right in front of me I lept in as just Tim.

After that my father let me be Robin again.

[So that's how it is.]

Sometimes that which we are meant to be has to come before the wishes of others.

[He knows what that's like.]

Perhaps.

If I hadn't gone back to being Robin, he wouldn't have been murdered and eventually, the Robin title was passed down again so I have to wonder if I should have tried harder to be a normal kid for my Dad, even for just a little longer.

[He looks away into the darkened areas of the cave]

Is there any other information you require?

[He looks to him then.]

He was killed?

[Tim will nod with a slight detachment. He'll come forward to take the Bruce folder from Kolivan's hands, refiling through it for a bit before removing a photo of a dead man, with an odd curved weapon embedded in his chest, blood pooled around his body.]

He was murdered because he was related to Robin. Me.

We raced to get there in time but arrived just too late.

Was his killer punished for this?

My father was able to shoot him before he died so they both died that night. It didn't stick, however.

A lot of people come back to life in my world. My father wasn't one of them but his killer was. He is in prison though. It's one of the last things I remember doing before coming back here.

[That and attempting to kill the man but discovered that that's just not something he can go through with. Even if all the incentive of avenging his father's death]

I see.

[It seems almost a shame that his father couldn't have been restored too. But if he can at least know the one responsible is imprisoned that is something.]

Many of us have lost a great deal. It is never easy.

War is war. The worst casualties of war are those who never signed up for it. If a soldier dies, you at least know that they die that they signed on for it. That they probably did it doing some good, saving other lives.

When an innocent dies, it's because I failed in my job.

[He stills speaks in a vaguely detached manner like he's not willing to get go of the dream self. It's easier that way to answer questions and deal with the topics discussed]

[Kolivan is silent as he thinks about that. About his own people who joined his cause. Those Blades who died and even the lives of the Galra just believing in the cause of their Emperor.]

Nothing is ever so simple as that. Some sign up for the causes they fight for. Some a dragged into it with no other choice. Some are caught in the crossfire of it all. There is no death in war that is more tragic than the next because there is almost always someone there to mourn the one who has fallen no matter the side.

[He looks to the boy.]

War is war. It is a harsh reality that is caused by destruction as two sides fight for their ideals. You may agree with only one side but death is the one thing that both sides will share in the end. Mourn your father but carry his name with pride as you fight in his name. In the name of those you couldn't protect as you look to those you could.

You are right. I shouldn't diminish the lives of soldiers. I shouldn't diminish the lives of anyone.

Is that what you do? to cope with your own circumstances?

Bruce is the one you remind me of, as I'm sure you've guessed. His sole concern sometimes is the mission. Patrol and looking after this city. He's given up so much just to create and be the symbol that this city looks to, to protect it.

But sometimes he loses himself to it. At times there is only Batman and no Bruce.

[That...sounds eerie with how much it sounds like himself. So busy saving the universe he forgets himself. So often the leader of the Blade of Marmora rather than Kolivan.

He's really seeing why Tim sees him that way now that he's said it.

He looks to the side.]

We all have our ways of coping.

We have different ways of coping, but some of those ways aren't healthy.

It has to be a way you can still live with yourself and come back from after. You have to want to be able to see an end to it and want to be there for that end.

Others cope with the belief they may not see that end but knowing there will be others who will.

[That's...his coping method.]

I was like that for a little while not that long ago. You make plans and strategies where your survival isn't necessary for success but what you don't realise is that there are people out there who are imagining a future with you in it.

When you have so many people die on you, you realise that maybe you should be adjusting your plan and battle tactics a little so that you're not the one who dies and makes someone else feel the way you felt.

At least, that's kind of what happened over time I think. For me anyway.

So I've had to find a new coping method.

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