'cause it's better than nothing

[thespaceopera]

[ Calibration Rooms ]
( for N-Z characters )

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ROOMS BY CHARACTER

N - P Otono-Tachibana Makie Pavel Chekov Peter Parker Pidge Gunderson Prompto Argentum Psycho Mantis

Q - S Randolph Lyall Remy LeBeau Sandalio "Biffy" de Rabiffano Sanza Stark Shin-Ah Sorey Steve Rogers

T - V Taako Thor Tim Drake Tyrion Lannister Ulaz Vash the Stampede Victor Frankenstein The Vision

W - Z Wanda Maximoff Zaveid

(last updated: 1/25/19)

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki takes one long last look at it before heading back to where Thor was. he stands before the throne soon enough. ]

It wasn't particularly damning, brother. I'm disappointed.

[rebuildyourruins]

[Thor had been turning the broken handle of Mjolnir over in his hands while Loki returned up the steps. His lips quirk upwards at the comment, slapping the handle into his palm.]

I'm sorry it didn't live up to expectations.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki sniffs. ]

It certainly did not. And you made it sound very dramatic.

[rebuildyourruins]

[There's a long moment where Thor just looks at Loki, without any levity.]

Yes, well. You and I look at things differently, don't we.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki flinches. then his expression shutters, pinched. ]

I suppose we do.

[rebuildyourruins]

[Placing the handle back onto the armrest, Thor steps around the throne to face Loki. The strained expression and the pulling back doesn't go unnoticed. He doesn't like it, but nor does he like how Loki spoke of the shadows.]

What were you hoping to see in there?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki's flash, a definite precursor to something. ]

What makes you think I was hoping for something?

[rebuildyourruins]

You were disappointed.

[Simple, really. If he was disappointed then Loki had something in mind that was not met.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki stares before he huffs, a strange strain of amusement fluttering on his face. ]

No, Thor. It was very predictably you. Which I suppose is a little disappointing. I hoard grudges. You hoard guilt.

[rebuildyourruins]

[Funnily enough, Thor doesn't deny it. He merely sighs, running a hand back through his hair. His gaze wanders over to the dark area.]

It's all earned. It would be wrong of me to set it aside, when I haven't yet done enough to make up for it.

[dothelokimotion]

Why should you make up for the sins of others?

[rebuildyourruins]

[He sighs, rubbing at his neck.]

I'm not. I'll make up for my own.

[Again, the difference is in the perspective. What each of them see as their responsibility.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki frowns. ]

If you say so.

[rebuildyourruins]

[Thor chuckles at that, a small thing but sincere. He turns and starts walking over to the portrait in centre place at the back of the room. Even from here Loki would be able to tell it's a family portrait.

He looks over his shoulder as he goes, raising his eyebrows.]

You still sound unsure, Loki.

[dothelokimotion]

[ his frown remaining, he follows closely at thor's heels. ]

I simply don't understand it. Why you have to have it, why — [ why you don't hate me more, despite my sacrifice, but that's a bit too much for either of them. ] — it's necessary.

[rebuildyourruins]

Not everything can be understood, you know. Sometimes it can just be felt.

[Thor comes to a halt in front of the portrait, gazing up at it.

The portrait in the centre is the most elaborately and formally painted. Fitting, for what is a royal family portrait. Thor and Loki are prominent in the foreground, whilst an older man and woman dominate the background. Oddly the golden trim of the portrait seems to move, shifting and circling around in an eternal orbit of its subjects.

That would be noteworthy enough on its own. Something else stands out more starkly in the painting, however. Every figure in it except for Thor is painted in nothing but greys. The gold still tracks around them vividly, but there’s no colour left in anyone except Thor.

Running beneath the portrait is a stone shelf where a number of items sit: a silver knife, a tarnished knife, a bundle of white flowers, a small statuette of a rabbit with strange banded markings, and a golden eyepatch.

When Loki steps up next to him Thor turns to look at his brother once more.]

But... I know that I have it because I can't deny there may have been other options. That I have made mistakes, and others have paid the price. So have I.

[dothelokimotion]

Perhaps. I'm merely concerned.

[ he still thinks it's a bad sign. that thor should leave this all behind. but there's little point in making a fuss about it. briefly he reaches out to touch the rabbit because that picture confuses him. ]

[rebuildyourruins]

[The rabbit is incongruous among the items here, so it’s no wonder it makes its way into Loki's hand. A shiver of cold runs through him once he picks it up - though it feels like ordinary porcelain. The air seems to shudder with Loki, the chamber around him blurring into the cramped interior of a spaceship; more of a space pod than a full-sized vessel. Thor’s in the rear of the ship, though he’s soon joined by a bipedal raccoon.

There’s an unreality bleeding through the whole thing, through Loki's skin. The whole conversation feels somehow far away even though it has its claws in his heart. It’s only when Thor gets up again and walks away that the spell ends, the chamber reasserting itself around him. Though it takes a while ... the memory leeching into darkness for a few long moments before light fades back in, slowly.

A chill remains.

Thor is looking at Loki when he's finally visible again.]

I know.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki deliberately looks away, hiding his face. let the shadow disguise his reaction, let it not be seen. he wraps his arms around his middle, squeezing them tight. he's not sure if he's furious or upset. it's hard to unwind the tightening knot in his throat. ]

You truly are hopeless.

[rebuildyourruins]

[Thor says nothing for a moment, watching Loki curl in on himself. He knows full well what his brother has just seen, felt it reverberate through him as all the other memories had done when touched. Shifting over a step, he places a hand on Loki's shoulder and squeezes.]

So you've said. [He says it fondly, eyes not leaving Loki even though the other is refusing to look at him.] Predictably so.

[dothelokimotion]

[ what more could I lose?

loki hastily wipes his face with his sleeve, but it keeps coming, traitorously. ]

I didn't want to die. I didn't want to.

[rebuildyourruins]

[His fingers flinch tighter on Loki's shoulder for a moment. The Thor present here has a centred presence that the one in reality has currently lost track of, adrift in pain and loss. In this room it's a different story. It's a culmination of fifteen-hundred years of self, even though rapid changes have set in recently. It has made him hard to ruffle - mostly.

But it's still Thor. The absolute centre of him. And as always, Thor loves Loki too much to want him to suffer like this.]

Oh, Loki.

[It's pained but sincere. Thor pulls Loki around by the shoulder and hugs him tightly, as much in comfort as in empathy.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ after seeing that, loki can't shake it off. that he's made it worse. that he's abandoned thor to the reality of thanos and loneliness. he had tried so hard to see his own sacrifice as his victory. his decision, made on his own two feet, despite the fear and desire to flee, to run to the further corners of the galaxy. to not die at the hands of someone who had brought him so much pain.

he tries to bury his sobs in thor's chest, but he shakes from the force of it. meaningless. everything he had done was meaningless. ]

[rebuildyourruins]

[Thor exhales quietly, holding Loki tight as he sobs. Disappointing, Loki had called the darker parts of Thor's psyche. Maybe that was true. If he had sought something more twisted, less expected, he hadn't found it down there. Those parts of Thor are harder to find, buried in plain sight. It took the blunt regard of a stranger to really unearth them, unfettered by long history or knowledge of him. Rocket had been someone Thor had no responsibility towards - something he had sorely needed.

It was what kept Thor silent when Loki had asked in the waking world whether he was all right. What could he say to that? He wasn't. He knew he wasn't, but it would have been the height of selfishness to say why. That the wounds in his heart felt like they were going to fell him at last, that he wouldn't recover this time. It would have been unbearable to say as much to his brother when he had died to save Thor.

But this was its own kind of sorrow.]

I'm sorry. [Thor says it quietly against Loki's head, voice thick with emotion.] I'm here. You're with me.

[dothelokimotion]

[ that's true. at least they were still together, in some form. and what was loki if not chaos himself? why should he take this situation lying down? his arms wrap themselves around thor, fingers digging in. he'll find a way out of this. he's not afraid to cheat and scheme his way through. if he has to shed more blood or betray more people, so be it.

he'll be the one to rectify everything. resolves strengthens his spine. ]

I am.