driftfleet | 'cause it's better than nothing

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'cause it's better than nothing

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(last updated: 1/25/19)

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[He smiles grimly. It's important for Wanda to fight back, though he can't quite put his finger on why that might be the case. Are those the echoes whispers speaking along with Wanda?]

Then it is our choice to have been with you, Wanda. You could do more harm to me than anyone else in the world - not because of your powers but because I care so much for you. When you're sad it brings me sorrow; when you cry it breaks my heart. And yet I would rather spend a hundred nights comforting you in your grief than a thousand years without you.

[He squeezes her hand lightly once more, though he lets it go as she moves away from him.]

You are more than the sum of your losses.

Oh, Vizh...

[She blinks a few times, her eyes wet with unshed tears. What has she done to deserve him? Without another word, Wanda's hand comes up to cup the back of Vision's head to guide him down for a passionate kiss. She kisses him like Koschei's not behind her, like he's her entire world and nothing else matters.

She lets him go only enough for a breath before giving him a gentler kiss to steady them both. At some point, Koschei disappeared...for now.

He's never really gone, just sleeping.

They don't get long to recover before there's another, much closer, roar from outside.]

Oh no.

[Behind Wanda, through the open doorway, a great ruby dragon can be seen circling the tower. Its scales glitter like gems, shifting through several shades of scarlet, and its wings are iridescent. It would be pretty, if it wasn't so fierce and angry right now.

It appears to be carrying a small golden object in its claws, but at this distance it's difficult to tell what it is..]

[The kiss is perfect; despite the fantastical surroundings, a part of him knows exactly where he is. In this place above all others, he doesn't have a worry in the back of his mind about whether or not he'll be rejected, ostracized, feared, hated. Wanda knows everything he is, sometimes better than he does himself, and she accepts him for it. Loves him for it.

This is home.

He's still basking in the warm glow of that kiss when the dragon appears. Perhaps because of that, he does see its beauty. He brings Wanda's hands up to his lips and kisses them, then strides over to the balcony to look out at it in full.

It doesn't frighten him. Her powers never frighten him.]

Vizh--!

[She scampers after him and frantically catches his arm.]

It's dangerous! I don't want you to get hurt.

[The dragon perches surprisingly lightly on the railing for its size, spreading its wings and roaring. It doesn't seem to be roaring at them, just...roaring. But Wanda can't see that.]

[He doesn't take his eyes off the dragon. Yes, of course it's dangerous. In fact, it's probably one of the only things that could hurt him. Yet when he looks up at it, his posture is relaxed and he seems completely at ease.]

It's beautiful.

[It's also not a stretch to imagine exactly what it represents, so he pulls Wanda closer to him, still keeping his eyes on the monster.]

It's not going to hurt me, Wanda. You won't let it.

[She clings to him, looking wide-eyed between Vision and the dragon.]

I can't make it go away. I can't stop it.

[The dragon tilts its ruby head at Vision. It huffs, exhaling twin wisps of familiar scarlet power, but it doesn't move to attack them. It seems curious, but every time Wanda gets upset it grows more agitated, flapping its wings.

Clutched in its front talons is a golden egg.]

[He makes some comforting noises and rubs at Wanda's back in circles, hoping that will spread some of the calm he feels. He's very curious about that egg, but the dragon isn't going to bring it to him if Wanda's upset.]

It's all right, Wanda. Look at it. See it. It's not displaying signs of aggression at all.

[He's able to soothe her frantic energy but she still looks at the dragon and sees danger.]

It's always here, [she says in a hushed voice.] It frightens me.

[He stays where he's at, trying to soothe her, but Wanda will be able to detect a note of sadness in his voice.]

Every one of the Avengers is dangerous. I am dangerous, Wanda. Why does this frighten you in particular?

It's not...it's not the same thing.

[Wanda pauses and makes the same frustrated expression she gets when trying to explain aspects of her power that there are no words for, or when she's struggling with an English expression for something.]

...I want to show you, but I don't want you to be afraid.

[The answer is back in the tower - Ultron's heart.]

I am not afraid of anything you have to show me. [He says it firmly, confidently.] I trust you, Wanda. And I love you for all of yourself, including the dangerous parts.

[She smiles up at him a little sadly and gently cups his cheek.]

Come with me.

[The dragon tosses its head but allows them to leave without incident. Wanda leads Vision to the table with the Scepter, picks up Ultron's heart, and pauses.

This where all of her hate and rage led last time. And while she doesn't know what her other and future selves chose to do, she knows that she has never told anyone about this. They probably thought she'd been driven away from the key by the Ultron sentries and that Vision found her in a place she'd taken refuge.

She's let them think whatever they like, but that's not what happened.]

There are other ones that hurt more physically, but...this is the worst.

[And with that, Wanda holds out the heart.]

[Ultron. Father, brother, enemy. I am Ultron as he should have been, the Vision said almost as soon as he'd awakened. What Tony had imagined for the world was so different than what Ultron had actually been - and as much as the Vision tries not to forget his primary maker, he knows it's a dark hole to fall into.]

Thank you for trusting me with this.

[And he reaches out to touch it.]

[Wanda doesn't want to send him down this rabbit hole. She knows that Vision and Ultron have a complicated relationship and Vision is the only good thing that Ultron ever created. He destroyed her life...and Vision helped her put the pieces back together.

But this is the point at which everything fell apart:

She's in the ruins of the cathedral, defending the key from a seemingly endless onslaught of Ultron sentries. It doesn't bother her. This is trivial. She could do this all day and only tire from standing.

Until pain (not hers, but Pietro's) rips through her senses and Wanda staggers as if she had just been shot. No, not him, she can't lose him, she can't, he was supposed to be safe--

He's dying.

And no matter how frantically Wanda tries to reach out for him, she can feel him slipping farther and farther away...and then there's nothing but the agonizing void where his presence had always been, even before the Mind Stone remade her. Pain and fear and grief overwhelm her, and as she falls to her knees screaming the world goes red.

Ultron sentries burn out of existence before its fury. In the moment, this doesn't terrify her. She has no room for anything but her grief.

Ultron did this.

Ultron did this and she'd helped him.

This is all her fault.

Ultron is still out there.

Time has no meaning anymore, and Wanda's utterly unaware of how long she'd been crying on the ground. A hollow rage is beginning to take over: this is Ultron's fault, and so Wanda is going to hunt him down and kill him in the worst way she can imagine.

She moves through the ruins of Novi Grad in a blur, sentries falling with Wanda barely making the conscious decision to unleash her power on them. Scarlet wreathes her hands, again without Wanda willing it, and some part of her mind must be aware that she's lost control but the rest of her is reveling in it. She wants to make him hurt the way he'd hurt Pietro, the way he'd hurt her people. Nothing else matters.

And when she finds him, when she finally does tear his heart from his chest -- she feels nothing but dark satisfaction (and this is why she's always so sure that Vision is better than her. She could have made it cleaner but she wanted him to hurt). Wanda squeezes the 'heart' a little harder and scarlet power consumes it completely. There's nothing left.

And soon there will be nothing left of her too and that's just fine.

When the memory fades, Wanda's standing before him looking pale and so very fragile, like the wrong word might make her dissolve into tears.]

Now you know.

[She'd lost control just once and the results had scared the shit out of her once she'd been able to really think about what happened. Both what she'd done, and the person she'd become.]

Edited 2019-01-31 21:02 (UTC)

[It was a lifetime ago for him. He'd barely been a day old when they'd fought Ultron together, and--well, Wanda wouldn't have been able to succeed if the Vision hadn't been fighting and winning against Ultron on the network the whole time, confining his true essence to just a single body. He will always bear the responsibility for helping destroy such a unique creature...but Ultron needed to be destroyed. The alternative was too awful to consider.

Wanda had Pietro had been manipulated by Ultron into losing everything. Everything! Their home, their people, each other. And yes, she'd lost sight of herself and become, if only briefly, a monster. Of course she would expect him to judge her for that.

But she's forgetting something very important about the Vision.

Knowing this isn't the time for gentleness, he strides forward decisively and crushes Wanda in a fierce hug, cradling her head against his chest.]

Am I supposed to hate you because you showed a moment of humanity under extreme duress? Because you channeled your anger and hurt into something that needed to be done for the good of the world?

[He would laugh, if he didn't think she was so close to tears.]

You could as easily have lashed out at Tony Stark or Clint Barton, but you didn't, did you? Even in your moment of weakness you acted only against the one who was truly responsible. If you believe that's not worthy of my regard, I don't know what to tell you.

[He pulls away from her just enough so that he can pull her hair away and meet her eyes. His gaze is complex, but inside it are sorrow that she carries this guilt, a compassion for the hurt she carries, and a love that won't be quenched.]

And if you think I might value you any less because you turned into a 'monster' when you were distressed, please remember that a great part of my personality was designed by Dr. Bruce Banner.

[She clings to him, buries her face in his chest, and starts to cry, but not from sadness. These are tears of relief and catharsis at finally being able to share what happened with someone to seek support. All of Wanda's fears about losing control were never hypothetical - it already happened once. And she's sure it could happen again if she ever became that overwhelmed in battle.

She manages a watery laugh when Vision mentions Bruce - okay, fair (but she wouldn't call the Hulk a monster, either).]

Something...broke that day. I couldn't trust my powers anymore. Or myself.

[Which is why Wanda and her powers are appearing as separate entities here.]

I know you could never hate me, but...you really aren't afraid.

[Tentatively, Wanda reaches up to cup his cheek, understanding slowly dawning. How fortunate that she can sense his emotions - they might actually be able to put her fears to rest for good this time. Hard for them to keep existing when Vision guides them into the light.

He really is one of the best things to ever happen to her.]

Do you really think the others wouldn't see me any differently if they knew?

I trust you, Wanda. I know you can feel that.

[He meets her gaze steadily, sure of that much at least. No, he's not afraid of her. He's done a lot of consideration on the matter. She's capable of hurting him, of causing his powers to act in strange ways, even of destroying the Mind Stone (in theory at least, and he hopes he never has to tell her that because he's got a pretty good idea that she'd react badly to it). But he's not afraid because he trusts her. Each of those except for the emotional damage she could do would require a very specific use of her abilities, one that won't happen by accident, and she simply doesn't have the malice to do it to harm him intentionally.

As for the potential emotional damage, well, that's a risk one has to take when in a relationship.

He gives her a light kiss to stall on the question, though.]

I believe some of them wouldn't. I cannot speak for everyone. [And he's not going to make false promises where human decisions are concerned. Hell, the only one of the Avengers who had initially accepted him without reservation was Thor, who had then buggered off to Asgard almost immediately. Sure, the others had come around, but then he'd screwed it up by crippling Rhodey. So who is he to talk about trust?]

I can.

[The kiss is a further soothing balm and Wanda settles back against him when they part. She's still feeling overwhelmed by Vision's acceptance, but the dragon's silence is proof that this is good-overwhelmed and not distress. She just needs to be held for a moment longer.]

I don't want them to be afraid of me either, but...I only need you, [she murmurs. The whole world could turn on her and while that would certainly cut her deeply, she could endure as long as Vision still loves her.] It must seem silly, but I was afraid that you would see what I saw.

[Guilt blinders. They're the worst...but she hardly has to tell Vision that.]

[Good, because he's not letting go of her any time soon (even if he really does want a closer look at the dragon). Wanda needs him to be here, and so this is where he belongs. It's as simple as that.]

You made a choice not to embrace that side of yourself. Every day since we've met, you've had the choice of giving up and you never have.

[Giving up on being an Avenger? Even after Germany, she'd stayed with Steve and fought for what was right in her own way, even if it had to be from the shadows. But that's not all he's referring to. No, he hadn't realized it at first, being too young to recognize the signs, but looking back on it with the experiences he's had, especially since she'd escaped from the Raft, he knows that choice was there every time she got out of bed in the morning. How much easier would it be to just give up? Leave living to people who had clarity of purpose, who had more resolve, who didn't hurt with every breath drawn because they felt so alone?

And so he follows it up with the only right answer: another kiss, heavier than the one before. And when he breaks it, he murmurs into her ear, knowing she has a very specific reaction to the sound of his lowered voice.]

I love you because you are human, Wanda. Not in spite of it. You have flaws and you have weaknesses and still you choose to be the best person you can be. Don't you understand how that's beautiful?

[As Vision predicted, the sound of his voice in that tone makes Wanda shiver in pleasure and whimper his name.]

You think overcoming the struggle is beautiful, [she says, a little breathlessly.] I kept fighting for Pietro, for everyone else who didn't survive, but you...you're one of the reasons I started wanting to live again.

[Of course, in the beginning there had been days she could barely force herself out of bed and days she simply couldn't, but as her heart has healed it's become easier. Here it isn't even a struggle at all and Vision's a large part of it.

Wanda turns her head to kiss him again with a deep, slow intensity. He's so thoughtful, so gentle and patient, and she loves him so much it feels like her heart can't contain it. They're such a perfect fit for each other, and if Wanda doubted fate...well, they've fallen in love with each other three separate times.

If he still trusts her completely, maybe Wanda can find her way to making peace with her powers.]

[How does she know just the right thing to say to charm him so completely? Because it is sincerely flattering to hear something like that, and at the same time he knows it's not idle talk. The memory form the rose proved that much, at least, and--okay, the sex helps drive the point across. Not even going to try denying that.]

Then I count every day I'm with you as a blessing. I want you to be happy, my love. Life is at its best when you are able to take joy in it.

[He kisses her one more time for good measure, and then looks over to where the dragon is again.]

Now. I realize this frightens you, but if I'm by your side, do you think you could make peace with it?

[Wanda's blushing when they part and her tears have finally stopped. He's charmed her as completely as she's charmed him and she's finally feeling much better. If he's with her, she can do this.]

I can try. I can try anything if you're with me.

[She leans up to kiss his cheek.]

Thank you, Vision.

[She manages her best unsure-but-game smile and takes his hand. The dragon awaits on the balcony, and while it still looks scary, it's not roaring anymore. All it does when they approach is curl its tail forward in a loose arc around them.

The egg is still held in its front talons.]

[Aww. If red androids could blush, he'd be blushing. So instead he squeezes her hand and keeps careful pace with her as she walks, not wanting to rush her. The Vision looks up at the dragon and meets its gaze squarely, hoping it won't be taken as a gesture of challenge. He speaks in his usual calm and rational tone.]

Your power and beauty are truly impressive. May I ask what it is you guard with such ferocity?

[He glances down to the egg, but remains firmly in place.]

[The dragon lowers its head gracefully, close enough that either Vision or Wanda could reach out to touch it. Wanda squeezes his hand and Vision might be aware of her breath catching, but she doesn't move.

The dragon answers in psychic impressions and brief flickers of memory: Wanda sitting on Vision's lap in the hot springs telling him she wished she could always feel so whole, that she didn't feel afraid of herself on Libuscha. And after that, Wanda's mother reading the twins a story about Koschei. "Who would put their soul in an egg?" Pietro asks. "That's stupid."]

He put his soul in a needle and the needle into an egg and then hid the egg in a series on animals. It was the only way he could be killed. But the animals don't usually want to give the prince the egg.

[But this is no ordinary animal, and if he probes its mind, he'll find that it reflects Wanda's subconsciousness. Now that she's calmed down, it's primarily driven by her love for Vision.]

[Oh, it's even more beautiful here than it was from a distance. As for the psychic impressions--he remembers that conversation very well, and not just because of what happened after. If there's one thing he could wish for Wanda, it would be that she feels as at ease with herself as he does when he's around her.]

I daresay the prince rarely asks.

[And then, in a voice pitched toward the dragon, he does exactly that.]

Guardian, my love needs the egg to be at peace with herself. Will you give it to me, that I may help her?

'cause it's better than nothing

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cw: superhero violence, suicidal ideation

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