driftfleet | 'cause it's better than nothing

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'cause it's better than nothing

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ROOMS BY CHARACTER

N - P

Otono-Tachibana Makie

Q - S

Sandalio "Biffy" de Rabiffano

T - V

W - Z

(last updated: 1/25/19)

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"I believe that occurred while I was absent from the fleet." He'd heard something about it from Sam, and he's got a pretty good idea of who the groom was, but it's probably best not to mention that to Steve at all.

Instead he responds to the second part. "There have been many good times here. I know it is difficult when you first arrive, and there are certainly times of distress and danger." A few images flash by quickly: a pink-haired woman (familiar from the memory of Winter) on a med-bay bed attached to many machines and heavily bandaged, dark shapes moving around a sickly-looking swamp through unnatural fog, a long and sterile corridor of a ship that brings an impression of a deep cold, and more than one image of a network recording with a name and a has left the Fleet message.

"But I've been happy here as well." The images shift again, and these are almost all memories of individuals (though sometimes in fantastic locations). Wrath again, standing next to a painting of a sunset and adding even more color. A snowball fight in a magicked room of the Iskaulit. A sense of deep satisfaction as machinery around them beings to move correctly and the group of engineers exchange high-fives and fistbumps. Kitty Pryde standing on thin air to water plants on a shelf, beaming a smile at him to welcome him back to the ship. The same memory Steve first saw, flying over the barren desertscape with countless stars above and Wanda by his side. Wanda kissing him underneath a massive tree in the middle of a continent-wide forest. "I feel as though my time in the Fleet has helped me grow as an individual. I hope you come to enjoy it as much as I have, Captain Rogers."

"But then we lose it all..."

Steve, ever used to the good things in his life being taken away, can't help but point that fact out. He's been here before. He saw Peggy and who knew who else and remembers none of it. Whatever he learned and saw and experienced is lost to him forever. Just like it will be for every other person who comes here.

"The options are to either stay and be kidnapped forever or...to be sent home. Who knows when or how. And then you're back in your previous life and you lose it all." He looks toward Wrath and frowns, knowing already that this woman meant something to him. And that, leaving, she probably has no memory of all that occurred here.

"I wonder if growing to love it here isn't worse than hating it..."

There's a long pause as the code moves across the Vision's face. Steve has a point, and there's no denying that. If he needed proof that the constant arrivals and departures here hurt, all he'd need to do is take a glance at his old Windrose memories - here's Misty, who had been so compassionate she worked with him to release the ship's vermin safely on planets rather than exterminating them, dead back home; here's Wrath, staring him down and telling him he should get his head out of his ass and be the kind and generous person she knows he is, with a memory like Swiss cheese and a world on the brink of destruction for no better reason than corporate greed; here's Makie, still here but vanished and returned twice now, regaining her deadly disease with each trip home and forced to know that a cure will be found long after her death.

But on the other hand, the Vision has never lost his idealism. And if there's one other Avenger who might understand, it's Steve Rogers. He speaks quietly.

"I would rather live my life to its fullest, knowing the joy is fleeting and there will be sadness, than to shut myself off from both pain and joy and by doing so not live at all. Beauty in transience is no less worthy than that which endures. If pain is the price I must pay for that, I do so gladly."

He understands. If anyone would understand, it would be Steve. But that doesn't mend up the hollow feeling inside his chest and the danger he feels acutely about getting too close to anyone here. He wouldn't remember any of them. Wouldn't even remember being happy or any of the things he learned from these varied lives he's coming into contact with. How did everyone here manage that?

"There won't be sadness," he can't help but underline. "There won't be anything. It will just. It will be as though it never happened at all." His mind drifts to Bucky, not for any other reason than the fact that he highlights Steve's point perfectly.

"I was here before. With Peggy. I don't remember anything of that. I don't know what we talked about or what we did together. I have no idea if the pain I am feeling now about that is worth it and I never will. It's not real anymore. Not to me..."

"There will always be sadness, Captain Rogers. It is part of being alive." At home he would have said the human condition, but there are so many others here besides himself that are not human but still live their lives fully, he cannot justify using the phrase.

Though with that admission, he steps fully out of the code, shedding bits of yellow data and appearing finally as himself in the familiar Avengers uniform. He smiles at Steve, though there's sadness in his eyes, and grips him firmly on the shoulder. (He's not sure what kind of reception a hug would get, so he holds off on that. It's easier with the women of his acquaintance, weirdly enough.)

"I want you to know my perspective on this." He's still not sure if the Calibration rooms are random or not, but he suspects not. And if the Atroma is going to send him his friends, he's sure as hell going to tell it like it is. "As you see around you, my consciousness is linked inextricably to the object called the Mind Stone. While I'm still learning what this means after a lifetime of it, one thing I have come to respect to a great degree is the sanctity of memory. Our memories inform our actions, our decisions, and our emotions. They give us emotional context for our experiences; in effect, they define us."

Behind him flash pictures of Bucky and Wrath.

"Those who tamper with and erase memories are unforgivable to me. I will do everything in my power to fight against those forces." And he smiles almost viciously, eyes hardening in a way that Steve has probably never seen before. "That includes, within the limitations we are forced into, working against our hosts. I don't agree with their methods or stated motivations; I despise their seemingly absolute control over our lives. Every sapient being deserves better."

He's never seen Vision look like this, but Steve likes it. There is something almost comforting to have someone else as furious as he is. As offended as he is over the pain his friends have experienced at the hands of others. Steve doesn't smile back but he is stern and grateful all the same as he listens. At the end of it, he finally nods, as though accepting some offer that had been extended.

"You have my support with that. The people who think that they can use people this way... Manipulate them by taking away the memories that make them who they are... I will fight with you as much as you need me to. It is one of the cruelest things one can do. They can't get away with it."

In turn, the Vision seems to relax when Steve pledges his support. They certainly haven't always agreed on things in the past, but when it's been important, the Avengers have come together. This isn't an instant threat to the wellbeing of everyone on board, but it's still important. And if it means they can't solve a problem by punching it, well, that's what they have brains for, right?

He doesn't bother saying it won't be easy because really, when is anything easy?

"It may be incremental and slow, and will certainly be frustrating. But if anything can be done, I believe in our ability to do it. Thank you, Captain."

"The things in life that are important never come fast and they never come easy. But that's not gonna scare me off..." Steve gets a fierce look in his eyes as he says that. The look of someone who's had that lesson drilled into his head since the moment he was born.

"We're going to figure it out, Vision. And we're going to take back our freedom. There's just no other option for people like us."

"I believe you."

He says it with sincerity, and once again something in the room seems to change: there's now an exit door that's appeared, to which the Vision gestures. This, it appears, is what the room wanted the two of them to agree on.

"Unless you'd rather see anything else, you are free to go - and you are welcome back at any time."

Steve shakes his head. "I've seen enough as it is. This is...private things. But thank you, Vision. For everything."

He looks back at where images of Wanda and Bucky and all the others have been. Vision has been here so long. It should be worrisome but all Steve feels is sort of happy for him. That he's found some place like this for him and Wanda both.

He smiles and turns to exit out into the real world once more, lighter and more hopeful than when he came in.

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'cause it's better than nothing

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