'cause it's better than nothing

[thespaceopera]

[ Calibration Rooms ]
( for N-Z characters )

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ROOMS BY CHARACTER

N - P Otono-Tachibana Makie Pavel Chekov Peter Parker Pidge Gunderson Prompto Argentum Psycho Mantis

Q - S Randolph Lyall Remy LeBeau Sandalio "Biffy" de Rabiffano Sanza Stark Shin-Ah Sorey Steve Rogers

T - V Taako Thor Tim Drake Tyrion Lannister Ulaz Vash the Stampede Victor Frankenstein The Vision

W - Z Wanda Maximoff Zaveid

(last updated: 1/25/19)

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

Yes, actually.

[ loki moves across the room, looking around. ]

A good deal of my powers reside on the mental plane.

[seeingscarlet]

[It's a comfortable enough room, aside from the cagelike observation door. A gilded cage, but is it keeping Wanda in or everyone else out?]

Then you should know that not everything here is safe.

[And it's more than just the Scepter or Ultron's heart. For now, there's no sign of anyone else, but Koschei is never really far. And outside is many things, but safe is not one of them.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki glances at her. ]

And? Why should a mind be safe? Why should you be?

[seeingscarlet]

Most people still expect me to be.

[Most people just don't know what to do with someone like her.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki makes a quiet noise at the back of his throat. ]

And who do you want to be?

[seeingscarlet]

[It should be such a simple question, shouldn't it?]

Myself.

[She's still figuring out what that is now, but it certainly doesn't feel good to smile and pretend parts of herself don't exist for the sake of preserving someone else's delicate sensibilities. They want her to protect them, but there are enough vocal people who seem to expect her to be completely tame otherwise...and that's just not how it works. But when you're also hyperaware of the emotional temperature of a room...]

Not a monster.

[dothelokimotion]

[ not particularly. it's certain a question loki has faced often enough and finally pushed through the crucible to get it. he pauses briefly before moving along. ]

All things are monsters. There is nothing you, me or the Avengers have not done that are not monstrous. Monsters do not come from the dark. They come from the lies we tell ourselves.

[seeingscarlet]

[She takes a minute to absorb that. It's a lot to unpack.]

Not everything. Not everyone. [Most of the Avengers...well, it depends on your perspective, doesn't it. But not everyone. She shakes her head.] Not love.

But I know what I've done.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki scoffs lightly. ]

Make no mistake. Love can make monsters out of people. To deny our ability to be monstrous to give power to those who wish to use it as a weapon.

[ monster, witch, creature. loki's been called every name in the book. and it's all true and it always will be. after all, odin himself said wherever loki goes, he'll bring death and destruction. he was not wrong. why deny what gives a person power?

what is power if it is unused, laid in the service of the guilty? to be a noose that must tighten in servitude. ]

It is not about knowing or even the context. Your life is your own. At the end of the day, I am not your enemy. The world is not your enemy. You are your own enemy.

[seeingscarlet]

It can, but love can also make us better.

[Pietro made her stronger. Vision makes her try to be worthy of his love and trust. And the Avengers make her try to be a better person.

But there's still a vicious, fearful streak in her - fear that she'll lose everyone she has left and the desire to push back and fight as hard as she can to prevent it from happening again.]

...sometimes it feels like this is my enemy.

[She summons the tiniest wisp of scarlet - isn't this where it all began? Without her, Tony may not have created Ultron, or at least not in a way that would have ended in Sokovia's destruction and Pietro's death.]

[dothelokimotion]

Then give it up.

[ though he doubts she ever will. no one gives up power for love or anything else. no one ever will. ]

If that is your curse, then find a way to lift it.

[seeingscarlet]

And make everyone else's deaths mean nothing? And not be able to protect the ones I care about next time?

[She shakes her head. But she doesn't expect him to get it. Whatever he's suffered, he doesn't understand what it's like to grow up in fear, how that shapes a person. Why Wanda would be willing to take on the burdens she does.]

I can't do that.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he's not surprised. ]

Of course not. But this circuitous idea of blame gets you nowhere. Whether it is power, yourself or someone else. Shame, blame, regret are but chains. Keep them or lose them.