driftfleet | 'cause it's better than nothing

[ Calibration Rooms ]
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ROOMS BY CHARACTER

N - P

Otono-Tachibana Makie

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Sandalio "Biffy" de Rabiffano

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(last updated: 1/25/19)

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[ Jim chuckles softly, unable to stop himself from feeling a little sorry that he wasn't the one sharing those memories. Pavel seemed happy then. ]

I would feel the same, too. And I'd be happy for you, of course.

[ He glances to the boxes again, contemplative. ]

Do you ever miss it? I mean... being with someone.

That you was happy for me as well, yes.

[That question hurts. Not that Kirk could know that it would be a sensitive question; Pavel doesn't talk about his relationships (or lack of them) with anyone.]

Very much. [And that's where he'd normally stop, but he's willing to be a little more open here.] I was with someone, in the prison before this one. She is here too, in the Fleet, but she doesn't remember when we were together... and she would never be with me now.

[ Jim can still imagine that it is a sensitive, painful topic. He doesn't know why he asks, really; he just feels like he doesn't know this Pavel at all, but he does want to. Not that he knows yet whether talking about this will bring them closer, but he's willing to give it a try.

More hesitant than he was to ask his first question, he is now to voice his guess out loud. Jim hasn't met a whole lot of people on the Fleet so far, but only one 'she' who talked about being elsewhere before. ]

Was it... Kitty?

It was. [Pretty obvious, huh?] You have met her, I take it.

Briefly, when I first arrived. She told me she was a friend of yours, though I didn't know about... that, of course.

[ He smiles weakly, understanding that kind of loss all too well. A hand rests on Pavel's shoulder. ] I'm sorry. That... is awful. I know. [ And having Kitty here likely doesn't help, either. ]

She is. [A friend, he means, although their friendship isn't as easy and comfortable as it was in Marina. Maybe it never will be. He really messed things up by falling in love and not falling out.] She has been, for years now.

...You know? [He's curious. That doesn't seem like it can be true what with his evidently happy relationship with Victor, but he trusts Kirk not to lie to him.]

[ That's a good thing to hear, despite everything else. No matter the complications, friends are precious, invaluable. Jim's glad that Pavel has made some in this place, and the places before. ]

Yeah. [ His gaze falls a moment, and Jim seems to debate how much he should share. With a sigh he surrenders, resting with his back to the wall. ] There was... someone else, before Victor. Before I even met him. We arrived in Riverview together, and we were together for... Jesus, it was a while. Almost nine months.

[ He closes his eyes and shrugs. ] And then... he disappeared. One day to the next, he was gone.

[Pavel nods sympathetically. It's a familiar story.] I'm sorry. It's difficult, not having an opportunity to even say goodbye.

[Since Jim is being so open, it only seems right to follow his example. Plus, he has a hunch about the identity of Kirk's first love.] That is what happened with Tessa, in the City. She was there when I first arrived, and then one day she vanished. Dr. McCoy--the first version of him that I met outside of our universe--disappeared the same day that she did.

[ Jim is both surprised and not when Pavel mentions Bones. There's something of a hollow laugh there, devoid of any real amusement, as he shakes his head and tilts it back until it rests against the wall. ]

That... was him, actually. Dr. McCoy-- Leonard. He was in Riverview. With me. [ It still feels strangely baring to admit to that out loud, especially to someone who knows both him and the doctor from before. ] I'm sorry. About Tessa. I understand that must've been difficult.

[He feels kind of bad for bringing the doctor up, but it's somewhat gratifying to know that McCoy and Kirk have been together in some universe and Pavel hasn't been imagining the sexual tension.]

I'm not very surprised, but I am sorry that he didn't stay. [Although Kirk seems happy with Victor now, and being with someone who isn't a part of the Enterprise's crew seems simpler in some ways.] Eh... there are more difficult things.

No, it's alright. [ He shakes his head and smiles. ] I... regret that I didn't get to say goodbye, but I can't be sorry that he left. I don't know that I'd have gotten to meet Victor otherwise, you know?

[ And now, he is happy. He loves Victor more than he ever got to love Bones, and he wouldn't want to miss out on that. ]

I think, Pavel... we of all people know there are always more difficult things. [ He rests a hand on his shoulder, smiling pointedly. ]

I understand that.

[He can't really relate as he hasn't so much as been on a date in the two years that have elapsed since his last romantic relationship came to an abrupt and unhappy end, but he gets it.]

I can't even imagine which of the more difficult things you are thinking of. [The ones related to prison universes? To the oddly high mortality rate on the Enterprise? There are some choices.]

'cause it's better than nothing

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