driftfleet | 'cause it's better than nothing

[ Calibration Rooms ]
( for N-Z characters )

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ROOMS BY CHARACTER

N - P

Otono-Tachibana Makie

Q - S

Sandalio "Biffy" de Rabiffano

T - V

W - Z

(last updated: 1/25/19)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She does not struggle. The hug comes as a surprise, even though it shouldn't. It might be a product of being here, of Vision behaving so comfortably, that Natasha's caught so flat footed.

She returns the hug though, giving him a little hug in return, resting her head on his shoulder briefly.]

Thank you. I'll be all right, though. Promise. [There's a brief pause as she comes to a decision. It's not like she ever meant to keep things a secret in the first place, really—it's habit and defensive instincts that keep her quiet.] I'm not going to be able to replace James for the same reason you wouldn't be able to replace Wanda.

But I know I'm not alone.

[The admission is enough to make things click into place. There had been hints, yes, but he'd dismissed them as not having enough evidence behind them; there was no reason they couldn't have simply been very close friends. Teammates. Partners. Romantic love is no prerequisite for trust, as well he knows, but--to have had both, and lost it, and know it's never going to be the same again?

No wonder she'd been acting like she was hurt so badly.

Even so, he's touched that she doesn't pull away immediately, and he smiles at her warmly, even if his gaze is now tinged with echoed pain.]

No, you're not alone. And no, there is no replacement for that kind of feeling.

[He squeezes her once more and releases her, knowing that even that much physical contact doesn't come lightly for her. Spies will be spies.]

I'm glad you had that much, if only for a time. I do subscribe to the philosophy that beauty in transcience is no less worthy than that which lasts.

[If Wanda were to disappear tomorrow, he would of course be devastated. But he'd like to think that he could continue on and remember her for the joy they had together. After all, he doesn't physically age, and none of his components show the slightest sign of wear after several years. For all he knows, he could outlive the planet he was born to. What would be the use in that, if he couldn't remember the grace and beauty humanity had shown him?

Around him on all the walls are reminders of people he's known and lost in the Fleet. Someone who focused only on what he'd lost would be terribly depressed by it all. But that's never been his attitude, and if he has anything to say about it, it never will be.

(Also, "James", huh?)

His expression goes back to the wry smile he wears often, and his tone becomes dry.]

And so things are more complicated than they seem, with the new arrival.

[Natasha pulls away a little, gently reclaiming her space as he lets her go.]

I don't disagree. And I don't regret what happened. [They have what they have while they have it. That's the way it is with people in her line of work, and in Drift Fleet. The same way she doesn't regret what happened with Bruce.

She can allow things to be bittersweet.

But there are other factors.]

It could be complicated. I'm trying to make it simple.

I'm glad. [Because it would be too easy to regret it, to balance today's grief against yesterday's joy. Because he's trying to develop that same sense of serenity himself, even though he misses so much that he once had and has since lost, but to make it not define him is so very important. You are more than the sum of your losses, he'd told Wanda, and Natasha certainly deserves the same.]

Yes, well, you are better at concealing your expressions than I am. Still, if there's anything you'd like a hand with as far as he's concerned, I am here.

Not really sue what you'd even do. [What is there to do? All they can do is be there for him, and hope he can find some measure of the comfort his previous visit brought him.]

[He shrugs gracefully.]

I've extended a hand and told him I'd like to be friends. I've given him information he's capable of independently verifying. I've offered ideas on how to work toward stability. And I've backed off, and allowed him to process those things at his own pace.

You're not doing that for me, though. You're doing that because he's a friend.

[He nods.]

True, but those are examples. If you think of something I have not--

They are examples. And I'm doing what I can for him too.

[It's all either of them can do.]

I'll let you know if the plan changes. Promise.

Thank you, Natasha.

[He smiles and gestures at one of the walls, where an exit door has appeared.]

Unless there's anything else you wish to know?

No. No, it's all right. Thank you for showing me what you have.

[A pause before she goes, as though punctuating her gratitude.]

You're most welcome.

[And she's free to go.]

'cause it's better than nothing

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