driftfleet | 'cause it's better than nothing

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'cause it's better than nothing

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(last updated: 1/25/19)

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Yeah, I promise. If you somehow find a magically way to take the teasing the way I look too far then I'll let you know. Even if I'm in a room where I can't lie.

But I have some bad news. I tend to have a very thick skin when it comes to that.

Well, your skin may be very thick, but it would be nice if it didn't have to work so hard around me. [You know, because she's your open, casual sex partner.]

Hey, Vash? There's something I don't think I've ever asked.

It doesn't. [And he means it. He likes a bit of teasing.]

Yeah? What's up? Should I be nervous?

I hope not. How is it that you and Knives don't need to be in one of these? [Gesturing to the bulb they're in now. It may be the wrong question. Maybe they do need to be in one of them and he has secrets about that or maybe the others don't really need to be in one. But she figures he'll know where to start from there.]

I think because we're evolved. [He looks around at the room. At the other sleeping Plants the line the walls.] The Plants were a creation made by humans. I never did learn how they were exactly made, but I know not many realize that the Plants have a soul. That they have thoughts and feelings even if it's not the same way that we think and feel.

When they were made they were made dependent on a life support system. If they aren't connected to it then they'll eventually and slowly die. [He shivers. Clearly remembering a time when he's come across that.]

Knives and I were an unexpected surprise. Rem said they had no idea that the Plants could have children. All I know is that we were found inside the protective glass of a Plant. I-- I really don't know much more than that, but because of that we are able to live without life support. We just need to eat and drink like humans. Although I think we can go a bit longer without eating or drinking if we had to.

[It shakes her to think of them designing this life form that's fully alive and conscious to be dependent on a machine so they could keep them under control. It's not a surprise. Apocalypse had forces he controlled in various ways. But it's still sickening. The sort of thing she stands against. Of course people simply convinced themselves it wasn't like that. They made them lesser so they didn't have to think of themselves as monsters. And from the way Vash talks it doesn't take much to guess he's seen plants die in exactly the way he's referring to. Just another hard thing in a very long, hard life. In some ways they have too much in common. She would have liked better for him.]

Do you know which plants... [had children?] Did you ever meet your parents?

Yeah. Rem showed us once the Plant that we came out of, but it didn't really feel like meeting my mother. It's- it's hard to explain. The Plants they don't really have their own thoughts. They're more like a hive mind, except they are individuals. They have their own experiences, but they share them with the Plants they can reach and it becomes entangled and warped. Still, they each have their own opinions on what they share.

So meeting her. It was as if we had already met her already. It was... strange. I didn't know how to feel meeting her. I still don't. And then, well, she died. [She was on the same ship Rem was on when it exploded.] We didn't have a lot of time to really get to know her.

I'm sorry, Vash. [For her dying and him not having more time, but also just having to have all those in between feelings where he was different from other Plants and different from other humans. Growing up feeling like he needed to hide who he was on fundamental level.]

And you never heard of anyone else born like you and Knives were?

I think I'm okay. I mean, I'm sad that she died of course, but I don't miss her as a mother. Is that a wrong way to feel? It's probably not very fair of me. [He loved all his sisters, but even now it felt strange to think of one as special or different from the rest. They were all their own entity, but Vash just could not rank them in any way.]

Not yet. No Plants have shared that kind of information with me and I'm pretty sure if there had been someone else that the news would have spread quickly and I would have heard something.

No, it's not wrong. You didn't really know her. [It's hard for Kitty to imagine her parents not being important to her, but they raised her.] Rem is the one who raised you. That's why you feel so strongly about her.

Why don't you think it's fair of you?

Because she gave birth to me. I should have felt closer to her because of it. but I just... I didn't. I felt that way towards Rem instead.

I love my mom because she tucked me in at night and read me books and took me to dance practice and made me feel better when I was sad. I didn't love her because she gave birth me. I think it makes sense you'd feel that way about Rem. It's just a little sad the one who gave birth to you couldn't have done those things even if she very much wanted to. [And she doesn't know how she felt about it of course, but if she couldn't leave her protective bulb then there wasn't much she could do for her sons.]

I'm not really sure if she knew what it meant to be a mom. I don't think she realized that she was special in any way. To her she was just doing what she was intended to do. She just took it to the extreme and ended up creating a new life.

I guess there probably wasn't any way for her to know about that if she was the first of her kind. You were connected to her, right? The way you are to the others? Did it feel different with her at all? [She figures it didn't from the way he's talking about it.]

I was young and I don't completely remember all of it. But-- ah, I remember one of the other Plants tried to share the memory of that event with us until Knives asked them to stop. [And he was so glad his brother had enough wits to request that.]

That event? You mean your birth?

Yeah. That's exactly what I mean. As a kid I really wasn't ready to see that.

Yeah, I guess not. I don't think I'd want to see mine either. [But she knows what birth looks like in general. That's something he doesn't really have for other plants. And even if he did he wouldn't know what it would look like for him or if it's even possible. It's a thought that turns into a hug after a moment. A nice, tight, long hug.]

[He holds her back. Thankful for a hug after thinking about such sad things.] Anything else you want to know?

Yes. But...I should probably ask when we're awake and it's your choice to be open and honest with me. [Because she can feel how easy it would be to fall in love with him here like this. But it's not real. Not completely.]

I do want to be more open and honest with you. Just... be patient? Old habits can be hard to break, but I'll try to be better.

I promise.

Patience is my middle name. Actually it's Anne and I'm terrible at being patient. I'm going to push and prod and be a general nuisance while also reminding myself to chill out and be patient. And I will be trying. And I'll be understanding.

...Deal?

[He smiles and there's something different about his smile this time. It's real. Chuckling slightly he gives his head a nod.] Deal.

[It's a great smile. She really likes it. Really, really likes it. She's having feelings that she wasn't prepared to be having and she kind of wants to run into them full force right now, but this isn't the real world. This isn't how things always are. She bites her lip to keep from saying anything she might regret. And she knows she should leave, but she just can't bring herself to do it. It feels too good to be right here like this with him. So she just hugs him tightly, not wanting her face to betray too much of what she's feeling. At this rate the Atroma are going to fade them to black themselves.]

[Vash is more than happy to simply be with Kitty and hold her back until the two of them wake up from the dream in the morning.]

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passingthrough - 2019-04-12 00:22 (UTC) - Expand

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