( how the dinosaurs died )

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Video
Action: Planetside
When: Right here, right now

[ the feed turns on, though it seems to start with a burst of static and a blurry screen before it finally seems to straighten itself out. though the scene you might be seeing seems a little . . . hard to take in. mostly because it looks like everything has been frozen. plants, grass and giant dinosaurs like T-Rexs that were in mid-lunge to bite on . . . a huddled lump who has a quilt over their head and cocooned deep within the covers. And also happens to be sneezing a lot. ]

This — [ loki sneezes, looking pale, harried and a little . . . blue. ] — Is the worst. Why is everything so — [ another loud sneeze. ] — uncomfortable?! And how do you make it stop?!

Comments

[sinistral]

More than you'd think.

[When Loki's steady he'll start to move, keeping that arm around the other man. It's no hardship to help him, not when Loki's own kindness had taken the form of not being judgmental when he could have by all rights been.]

Let's get you someplace more comfortable.

[dothelokimotion]

[ it's strange, being touched in this form. it makes him shiver from fear, from the slow crawl of destructive power in his veins, the kind that hollows bones and crackles skin. he is not a weapon fashioned by the all-father, but he is cold and dark and loki has never forgotten it. ]

Tell me. Tell me about the monsters you know.

[sinistral]

What kind of story do you want to hear?

[He feels that shiver; he can't miss it, with how close they are. It only makes his hold tighten a little as they navigate the landscape. He'd seen the shuttle on the way to Loki, and that's the direction he steers them now.]

Experiments? Cocktails of drugs that burn in the veins? Creative surgeries? Electricity in the brain? Conditioning? Pick your poison.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki huffs, a strange thread of amusement in his voice. ]

No poisons. Not pain. Monsters. Did mortals speak of them? Did you know anyone who was one?

[sinistral]

Once. A long time ago. Didn't speak. Didn't even blink sometimes. It was kept muzzled and caged, and only let out to kill. It was very, very good at killing.

Perfect, I guess, or close enough to it. No emotion, just efficiency.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki is many things, but dense has never been one of them. he can easily pick up what story was told here and who it belongs to. he's always been unusually perceptive that way.

softly. ]

That is a weapon. Pointed in a direction with no choice involved.

[ he turns to smile at bucky, wry and bittersweet. ]

He's not the same as me.

[sinistral]

[It should be uncomfortable perhaps, knowing that Loki's probably sussed out the unspoken details. But that doesn't really matter right now. What matters is getting him to a more comfortable place, back onto the shuttle and hopefully away from some of what's causing his illness.]

Suppose it is.

Maybe he's not. [He shakes his head a little, takes in that smile for a moment before his eyes skate away.] But maybe he doesn't see the gap as that big.

[dothelokimotion]

[ the corners of his eyes crinkle slightly at that, touched. ]

I suppose not.

[sinistral]

Don't sound too disappointed.

[It's almost got the faint stirrings of a tease. How about that?]

[dothelokimotion]

[ a slight chuckle which devolves into a shoulder-shaking sneeze. ]

I'll try to contain myself.

[sinistral]

[That sneeze gets a slightly tighter hold, both arms around Loki now to steady him. Fan theories for both men increase exponentially.]

A difficult task I'm sure. Are you sure you're up to the challenge?

[dothelokimotion]

[ a brief snort. ]

When am I not?

[ he wishes he could reach out in this form. touch. show his own way of appreciation. but loki keeps his hands to himself. his heart would shatter if he burned away bucky. ]

[sinistral]

Overachiever.

[It’s flat and attempting to sound unamused but a current of warmth creeps into his voice nonetheless. This probably shouldn’t feel as comfortable as it does, but here they are.]

Careful though, there’s some tricky footing through here.

[dothelokimotion]

One has to achieve things if you desire them.

[ it makes him feel better, oddly enough. like there is some warmth, even in this form of his. loki blinks blearily, walking with careful steps. nothing came his way, not easily. for all his princely privilege, loki still had to earn everything he had. he had to fight for it. ]

It's only this form, this nature I want nothing to do with.

[sinistral]

You’re tempting me to ask what it is you desire. Other than an end to the sneezing.

[Their conversation is almost like a spiral. Or perhaps a planetary orbit, moving at times closer to the heavy topics before cycling away again.]

Mmm. Because you perceive a monster?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki huffs at that. ]

It is not merely — perception. Before I knew about this, Asgard, my family, Thor . . . they all hated Frost Giants. It was common to . . . speak of them negatively.

[ and loki is putting it in the nicest way possible. ]

It was as if I was taught to hate myself from the very beginning.

[sinistral]

What cruelty, and to a child. You don’t give me a favorable impression of Asgard.

[This isn’t something to be solved with a few pretty words. This isn’t even something for him to solve. It’s Loki’s struggle alone, and he knows well what it is to struggle against self-loathing. The most he can do, he thinks, is provide a show of support.]

I have little enough to offer that could counter such a weight but for whatever it’s worth, I see neither a monster nor a thing to hate.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he can't help a slight chuckle at that. ]

No. It was more fetid than I realized. From what happened to my older sister to what happened to me.

[ but it was his home. the only home loki had ever known. the only home loki had missed so deeply, like a permanent ache in his heart. he turns to face bucky slightly, red eyes. ]

What do you see then?

[sinistral]

There’s another story in there.

[It’s not a question but neither does it push for elaboration. There’s no simple black and white here and for all that he’d professed to preferring the shades of grey, they don’t always make for easy conversation.

His arms shift as Loki turns, trying to remain supportive lest another fit overcome him. He meets that gaze squarely.]

I see someone who was judged harshly and somewhat unfairly, but nowhere near as harshly as he’s judged himself. I see someone who’s been honest with me, and that’s a commodity in sadly short supply. I can’t help being selfish for it.

[dothelokimotion]

A long one.

[ it is difficult to keep eye-contact. loki almost wants to look away in shame and disgust, unable to meet that truth head-on. he's never been good at that. always perceptive about everyone else but himself. ]

I would never dismiss selfishness.

[sinistral]

Perhaps better saved for when we have time to kill. Maybe the next drift, and I will finally come to see your magical walls.

[The contact finally breaks when he glances away, eyes returning to the distance they still need to cross to make it to Loki’s shuttle. It’s not far, fortunately; he doesn’t like the thought of Loki having to suffer this illness for any longer than necessary.]

You flatter me by indulging it.

[dothelokimotion]

[ softly. ]

I'd like that.

[ he shakes his head. ]

It's not — It's not merely an indulgence. You know that, don't you?

[sinistral]

I’ll make sure to make it happen. And I suppose extend an invitation to the Starduck as well, though she’s not got anything as fancy.

[A small sound escapes him; it’s not quite a sigh but a little lighter, a little more comfortable.]

Can we not go back to the dictionary and choose the definition that states simply allowing ourselves the enjoyment of something pleasurable? [A beat.] But I know what you’re asking, and I know it’s not just some frivolous thing. I didn’t mean to imply that it might be; my tongue clearly isn’t as silvered as your own.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he smiles at that. ]

It doesn't need to be. I like it the way it is.

[sinistral]

Now you’re flattering.

[It makes him smile regardless.]

You’re probably one of very few who would think as such, so you do have my thanks.