Voices from Heaven (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thespaceopera) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2015-10-20 10:06 am
thespaceopera) wrote in driftfleet2015-10-20 10:06 am
Entry tags:
Sweet dreams are made of these...
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That wing [she motions forward into the burning wreckage] is where the identity data was kept. We're trying to rebuild it.
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Looks like you're going to have a tough time of it until these--you said they were Separatists, right?--stop attacking.
[Nevertheless, she starts forward cautiously.]
So this is records of the Jedi currently in the Order?
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Sorry, I should have clarified. The data isn't for the Order. It's for me.
[Ahsoka's identity.]
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[Okay. Got it. Just like the other rooms and corridors and things--only, with explosions.
Wait, if she said 'we're trying to rebuild it...' that means... trying to rebuild Ahsoka. Doesn't it?]
So basically--you're trying to put yourself back together in here? After what happened with the Order.
[you know WHATEVER IT WAS......]
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[She takes a few steps down the hall.]
But sometimes, who's a Jedi and who's not isn't something the masters can tell you. Even when they think they know all about it.
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The bombing seems to have died down a bit for now, and the cruisers are backing off.
As you walk, a few things catch your eye. A small green cloak peeks out from underneath a fallen pillar. Something cracks underneath your foot-- a set of broken silka beads, much like the ones Ahsoka uses on her headdress. Further down, there looks to be a shrine of some description, but it's buried under piles and piles of rubble.]
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Thinking about Ulic, it's the beads that get Vima's attention. She bends down to pick them up for a closer look.]
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You remember the first time you got your headdress. Jedi Master Shaak-Ti bestowed it upon you when Yoda proclaimed you ready to be a Padawan. She told you more about the customs of your people-- your people that you haven't seen in eleven years since you came to live at the Temple.
You remember Shaak-Ti attaching a small set of silka beads to the end in place of your Padawan braid, since togruta don't have hair. How proud you felt.
You remember when the dangerous criminal Cad Bane ripped those beads from your head and put them on his belt, like they were some trophy to keep. How dare he, how dare he? You should have felt fear, but you only felt rage.
You remember when you were expelled from the Order, how they ripped the beads from your head too. But that time you didn't feel rage. You only felt endless despair.
Most clearly, you remember Anakin's hand, outstretched to you, your beads in his palm. Asking you to take it. The Jedi Council standing behind him, asking you back into the Order after they so wrongly expelled you. You remember their hypocrisy. Their lack of any true apology, save from Plo Koon and Anakin-- the only two people who never truly needed to apologise in the first place. Their desperate struggle to cover their asses, to make it seem like this was the will of the Force all along and that they hadn't possibly just made a horrendous mistake that had nearly resulted in your death.
You remember closing Anakin's outstretched hands over the silka beads. Saying with actions what you cannot say in words-- "keep them." You remember turning and walking away. You cannot possibly stay in an Order you know betrayed you at the drop of a hat. It would only foster resentment and bitterness in your heart. And that is not the way of the Jedi. Your path lies elsewhere now. Where... you don't know. You still need to find it.]
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Vima has wondered a lot about the Order that Ahoska knows: what it's like in four thousand years, what the war has done to it, why she left it. Now she understands completely. To hear the masters behind her praise her strength and declare that this has made her a stronger Jedi... as though they had nothing to do with this. Like they're doing Ahsoka some kind of favor by letting her back in when she shouldn't have been kicked out at all.
Vima knows the will of the Force. It had been the only place she could turn for guidance, and she threw herself into its arms. It isn't this. Ulic would never claim that he'd fallen because the Force meant him to. She certainly can't imagine her mother behaving this way.]
...The will of the Force... isn't an excuse for your own mistakes. [Her hands tighten around the beads. Anger isn't a good emotion for a Jedi to have, but she can't help it after seeing that.] And if they really thought it was, they don't understand it at all. That's not what it means to be a Jedi.
No wonder you left.
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... I thought about staying, but... it wouldn't have been right. How could I put my trust, my life in the hands of an Order that was so quick to betray me? To betray it's own Code? Maybe other people can, but... I can't.
[Then she looks down at Vima's hands.]
Oh hey. You found my beads. I thought I lost those.
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The strange thing is, it's true about you being stronger, a better Jedi. But they aren't the ones who have a right to judge. [She turns to face Ahsoka, wondering if her words make any sense. What makes a person a Jedi? It's not like a certificate you put on the wall.] You were right to go. Those Jedi Masters--they can't judge that. They need to judge themselves.
[Ahsoka said that she wouldn't tell Vima about the future in case it messed up the timeline. And yes, maybe what happened really is the will of the Force. But Vima can't stand the thought that the Force would guide the Order to this self-serving end. She holds out the beads.]
They were on the floor. Do you need them?
[She noted that the Jedi who gave them to Ahsoka wasn't in the Council Chamber.]
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... Thank you. [Not just for the beads. For the words, too.]
I don't need them any more, no. They were a stand-in for my padawan braid. I don't really know what to do with them...
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Well... they're pretty small, so it's not like they'd weigh you down, wherever you go next. If you hang on to them, you might work out what they're for later.
[She thinks of the medallion that Ulic gave her.]
...Maybe who they're for.
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[She puts them gently in her back pocket anyway.]
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Have you decided where to go yet?
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That has to be tough to get used to. ...Jobs and the living situation. [sounds like an interesting story there...] Someone you met during the war?
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She used to be Sith, too. But I guess in recent years she found the allure of the Dark Side has lost it's charm.