driftfleet | Tourist ROAD TRIP (mingle)

Of course.

Also, Jim came to talk to me.

Oh good? How'd -- that go?

[ he really hoped he got the right message across, he thinks he did but well, he's pretty bad at this sometimes, and his talk with jim was an emotional and trying one. ]

He apologized. We hugged it out.

I just have to accept that he's going to be Disappointed Dad sometimes, and he got a better understanding about who I am.

He's not the only person to see clumsy and ditzy and discount me, here. It's hard to manage. Sure, I can be a little scattered and goofy, but that's all they see.

Edited 2016-06-08 17:28 (UTC)

[ it's strange. back home all people saw was nerdy, goofy, ridiculous, eyeroll worthy winn - and here for the first time he feels like he's taken seriously by most. and kara's experiencing the opposite. this really is the twilight zone. ]

I don't think that's all they see - [ gently taking her hand ] I know it's hard, to be stuck here like the rest of us, but you've always been so much more than Supergirl, Kara. You were my hero as regular Kara Danvers. And if I could see it, you bet the geniuses we're flying with can too. Cisco's almost as big a fan as I am, Kitty sees you, Jim - he's like a paranoid big brother, but that doesn't mean he doesn't see how great you are. I know things didn't work out with Hank, but it wasn't because he didn't see how funny, smart, and great you are. And I always see it.

Thanks.

Cisco actually... was someone else who. Well, he came to me in a tizzy about the Zoom stuff that Caitlin remembers—he said it was just between us four, so I assume you know about things?—and when I tried to reassure him that I can handle things, he said he wasn't trying to discount me, just that it's not the first thing that comes to mind.

Yeah - he told me.

[ and it gives him so many nightmares. he nods, and frowns. ]

What do you mean?

He was catastrophizing a scenario where Zoom showed up and everyone was defenseless, and I kept telling him that I'd handle it. Because, you know, you're going to help me get back to 100%, and I can actually do the heroing thing. I know Barry's fast but so am I, and a lot of other things besides. Cisco kept dismissing what I was saying, and then realized what he was doing and apologized. But like I said, he's not the only person who's been like that.

I know it's mostly my fault. I mean, that's part of the charm of me being regular personal assistant Kara Danvers, isn't it? Someone who couldn't possibly have special powers and save the day. You know as well as anyone that it's not entirely a secret identity though. Yeah, probably the cardigans and cute dresses started as a way to seem non-threatening, but I'm kind of a nerd. It's not surprising that people are buying into that. Technically it means I'm doing a good job. But it's different when it's people who know both sides of me, you know? I expect Ms. Grant to condescend to me. It just sucks when it's people who know what I'm dealing with.

Ok first of all - why are you saying 'nerd' like it's a bad thing? [ come on kara. ] Look I know -- what it's like to want everyone to just - take you at your word. [ he wants everyone to trust in him as easily as jim does - the moment when he told him he's incapable of turning into his dad was one of his best in the fleet - in his whole life. ] But the truth is - they don't know both sides of you. I'm the only one who really does, here. All people know here is what we show them - if you want them to see Supergirl - you have to show them Supergirl. And I don't mean find something to fight I mean - show them that indomitable, fearless spirit. Show them the woman who wasn't afraid to march into Ms. Grant's office and tell her off, the one who wouldn't hear of letting me deal with my dad alone. Show them the Kara I know.

[ she huffs, knowing he's not wrong, bubbling with rebuttals, but knowing it's not worth going point-by-point. He's right ]

I just feel like I've played it all wrong, you know? From the beginning. I wish I'd known from the get-go that no one would care that I'm an alien.

You can change course anytime you want, you know. I don't think people would judge -- secret identities are pretty common here.

Alex would be really irritated if she showed up, I think. But you're right.

I never had a sibling so don't take me at my word here, but I'm pretty sure it's a little sister's job to drive her big sister crazy.

I certainly do that.

I really miss her.

[ she leans her head on his shoulder ]

I know.

[ he wraps an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder. ]

I'm working on it. I promise, you'll get her back.

[ or he'll kill himself with exhaustion trying. ]

[ she's really comfortable like this ]

You know, I miss her, but I don't hate it here. I admire all the work you're putting into everything, and I know how vitally important it is for you to find a viable way to get Kitty out of her situation. But not everything needs to happen right this second. If we can spend our time here doing good for the other people we're with, even if it means delaying going back, then I'm okay with that.

It's like, when Barry showed up in National City, he wanted to go home, but he still spent the day with us, trying to figure out our Banshee and Livewire problem. And then when that was taken care of, I helped him get back.

If you burn yourself out... you'll still be an amazing person and a great friend, but you'll get frustrated. I know that about you.

I'm fine missing her, Winn. It doesn't need to be solved right now. I'd rather have my powers more functional than a quick exit out of here.

[ he smiles, and pulls her closer for a moment. ]

Yeah, that's the Kara I know and love. [ brave, strong, putting everyone else first. if she showed everyone else this side of herself, he has no doubt she'd get whole other reactions. ]

Are you and Jim ganging up on me, or do I really look that bad?

[ she laughs ]

He got on your case about it? I guess trying to fix everyone is a popular hobby around here. There's not much else to do.

You look fine. Maybe a little tired. I don't think space travel is really kind to most people, you know? But like I said, I know you.

Edited 2016-06-08 18:34 (UTC)

I got called in to the principal's office.

[ he nods, it's pretty funny when he thinks about it like that and not about how emotionally exhausting it was. ]

You do. [ he smiles. it's part of what makes her so irreplaceable to him. to a lot of people here, he's an image of niceness and helpfulness, but kara's known him a long time, she knows his ups - and his downs. he's so much more comfortable being himself around her. ]

I'm trying to rearrange my work schedule. [ it's just not really working. ]

We'll get you in shape, by hook or by crook. I can reclaim my office at any time, you know.

Jim said he'd look into getting me a designated work space, so you don't scare me. For a disapproving dad, he's pretty enabling.

In my defense, I haven't been around a lot of Disapproving Dads, besides Director Henshaw. My dad was great, and Alex's dad was also great.

Disclaimer about my dad goes here.

It doesn't seem like he was particularly disapproving, though. Just... well, you know.

Anyway, the point is, I feel like neither of us is really equipped to deal with that kind of person.

I dunno, I think activating 10 bombs to teach me a lesson is pretty extreme disapproval.

[ closest he's come to admit to how scared he is of what might happen if his dad shows up and thinks that he should be taught a lesson for his disobedience. ]

Yeah, but you know...I don't mind it so much. [ he actually really liked it. not the - being told off part, but being taken care of, feeling like he's not going to be given up on no matter what...it makes it all worthwhile. ]

I can see why. It means Jim's invested in how you're doing. It's like how Alex's mom is so hard on her, but it's just because she cares about her success so much, and knows she can do incredible things.

Even if it makes for the worst Thanksgivings.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject