notzubats: Sora extra concerned (rats)
Sora Niniji (AU) ([personal profile] notzubats) wrote in [community profile] driftfleet2016-11-20 01:37 pm

Iskaulit Mingle - Problems with Psychics

Who: Anyone on the Iskaulit!
Broadcast: If you'd like?!
Action: Iskaulit!
When: Today, as Sora's augment glitch starts.

[It's your average day on the Iskaulit. Absolutely nothing seems out of place initially, but without any warning- you might find yourself or your friends experiencing some problems. What's up on that?

In other words, it's an Iskaulit mingle with a twist! Come on in everyone! You don't need to interact with Sora to have it effect you, so feel free to start your own threadstarter! Or talk to Sora, that's cool too. ]
wolfuncaged: (Did the last thread come undone?)

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-01-12 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
[The trying means a lot, in all honesty, even if Fenris struggles to find the words to say as much. He focuses on the castle with quite the heated (ahaha) intensity. He inhales, exhales. Right. Self aware. He can do this.

There's a flash of flame, but it dies out quickly, not igniting the candle. Fenris is aware a lot of it is likely him, pulling back on the reins, trying to control it. To stop it moving freely. Afraid to take the chance.
]

This is...difficult.
wolfehawke: (cmoooon)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-12 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Yup.

[There's an emphasis on the p, a pop to highlight Fenris' observation. Magic may be something only some people are born to have a talent for, but that doesn't mean they're good at it immediately, or even that they can do much more than create sparks. Like any other skill, it varies from mage to mage and takes practice to cultivate. The majority of magic users aren't going to be able to call down a storm the second they manifest abilities. Most can't even spark a cookfire on command.

The main problem, as Adalwolfe sees it after having experienced, observed, talked to Merrill, read Anders' manifesto, and spent at least ten years thinking on it, is society. If you look at the Dalish - or what he knows of them from Merrill and short talks with Marithari - they don't punish their own for just having magic. They teach control and they acknowledge its help. How much easier is it for a nomadic people not to have to carry flint and tinder, or to still be able to spark fires when its wet out, or when there's drought to be able to summon ice for water. Digging with magic is so much less time consuming! Something he'd used in his little farm hideaway in northern Orlais with Anders before the whole Inquisition thing.

In Rivain too magic is a part of life. Mages aren't just kept in a tower to be called upon at the Chantry's behest. He's found out all he could about Rivaini seers and while the practice seems too dangerous to him, they're always more wise women and helpful to their communities so long as they're not crossed. And that's anyone, really. If you treat everyone around you with a basic mortal decency, you're not going to end up with nearly as many people ready to, say, burn down Chantry buildings. Just as an example.

And without training? The average mage never even could do so much damage unless they were in a major fit of emotion. You know, like fearing for their life. The conceit that most have regarding mages in the South is that they're all power-hungry boogeymen who would turn to blood magic and demons in a heartbeat for their own advancement when really most people just want to be left alone to live their lives. Have families. That's all his own father ever left the Circle for. Not power, not wealth, not even freedom for its own sake. He just wanted to have a family.

Really, that's all Adalwolfe wants too.

True to his word, however, Wolfe keeps all that to himself, trying not to let on that any of it is even circling through his mind.]


You need to relax just a little. If you try and keep too tight a reign on it you'll hurt yourself.
wolfuncaged: (Far away long ago)

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-01-12 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[Fenris nods his head, a very tiny, very slight gesture. To show he's heard Wolfe, that he's trying to understand, trying to take his lesson seriously. It's terrifying, but Maker he is going to try.

He releases it a little more, not much, not enough, his grip is still too tight, too fearful. The worries of harming someone are too strong, they whirl and twist in his mind, making a mental block he really can't shift away.
]

What if I let it too loose?
wolfehawke: (Small smile)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-16 04:46 pm (UTC)(link)
You won't.

[He leans forward, leaning his arms against his knees.]

Contrary to popular belief, magic doesn't just go out of control on its own. There has to be some kind of will behind it. The mage in question has to try, and yes you could get flame on the floor or something, but it's a metal floor and it's not going to catch, and that's not what you're aiming to do anyway.

Most of what causes magic-related accidents is fear. Panic. You know how most mages, when they first get their magic, burn something down? Because they have a panic reaction to something. An emotional reaction. I froze our kitchen because I was arguing with my father. We saved a girl from the Gallows who'd been a servant and the lord tried to get in her smalls and she panicked and lit his hair aflame. There's still will there, an instinctual drive to protect yourself or a physical manifestation of your emotions. Learning to control magic is more about keeping that in check than the magic itself, and if you keep too tight a hold, you end up burning from the inside. There has to be a balance.

Does that make sense to you?
wolfuncaged: (The world is a place)

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-01-17 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[Fenris listens- there's a moment, when Wolfe mentions the servant that the elf shifts a little. It's the smallest of movements, a fraction, really, something you'd have to be watching him carefully to see. But it was absolutely there. He relaxes when Wolfe continues with the lessons instead. Exhaling slowly. ]

Balance. I...understand.

[He looks down at his hands. Fenris can, at least, admit his own shortcomings here. He's perfectly aware that he's constantly a powderkeg waiting the blow. ]

I am not...good at that.
wolfehawke: (Small smile)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-17 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[He knew that might make him uncomfortable, but the story about the servant girl is the best example he has of the worst situation and how magic can be brought out uncontrolled through fear. If he knew the real effect it had on Fenris, if he had even an inkling of the history it dredges up, he wouldn't have said it at all.]

Then consider this an exercise in balance too. It's going to be alright, though, Fenris. I do promise you that.

[He rubs the back of one hand idly, massaging it as though that will be able to alleviate some of the ache. No wonder Fenris is so fidgety a lot of the time.]

Just take it slow and know that if you don't want to hurt anyone, the magic won't.
Edited 2017-01-18 00:30 (UTC)
wolfuncaged: (Is coursing through my veins)

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-01-18 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
[Of course, Fenris won't talk about the fine line Wolfe skirted, because talking about things isn't exactly his strong point. Instead, he tries to focus on the magic, uncomfortable as it is. Deal with this. This first. ]

Magic is used to serve man.

[The tone is flat. He doesn't believe it, not completely, but he tries all the same. There's a flicker of flame from his fingertips, and he jerks back in response. The candle doesn't light, but at least the metal means the fire doesn't catch when it's dropped. Yay. ]
wolfehawke: (Unsure)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-18 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Fenris isn't the only one who can hide a flinch. All that shows of Adalwolfe's discomfort with the elf spouting Chantry doctrine is a slight narrowing of his eyes for just a split second. He's not even sure why it bothers him still; he doesn't necessarily even disagree with it. It's just those words being twisted to mean that mages should be used to serve man that gets under his skin. It didn't used to. It used to just be something holy sisters and revered mothers spouted that could be ignored. But Anders had changed his mind, made him see the insidiousness of that attitude even if Fenris means it in a way of his having control of the magic.

He lets it pass. As he must.]


Close. You're still too afraid of it. Try again.
wolfuncaged: (Tame this animal I have become)

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-01-19 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
[If Fenris noticed it, he makes no comment on it. He's not in the mood to go back to the circular arguing they have on the subject. For now, he needs to get control of this, lest anyone be harmed.

He gives a soft, annoyed huff, eyes narrowing. Of course he's afraid of it. There's fire coming from his hands. He casts his glower at the candle though and with a woosh, it promptly lights.

A lot.

Good thing they're surrounded by metal.
]

wolfehawke: (That's the stuff)

lemme know if I need to change anything on how the lyrium works

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-19 05:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[He'd missed it the last couple times because Fenris was so afraid, didn't draw enough mana from himself even to cast a real spell, much less pull from around him. But this time he can feel it. A tug, a strange pulling sensation that drags mana from his skin. No, not his skin but the tattoos in it, dragging the mana from the lyrium. He doesn't know what to make of it in the first moment he feels it.

The next he's doubled over, his skin feeling hot and stretched. It's not pain so much as overwhelming and thus being translated into something indescribable. His senses don't know what to do with the new sensation, and in trying to figure it out he curls in on himself, missing entirely that Fenris did, in fact, succeed at lighting the candle.]
wolfuncaged: (It doesn't matter now)

nooo this is perfect

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-01-20 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
[Fenris shifts away from the fire, not happy with it at all. Nope. He's starts to look for something to put it out when he catches sight of Adalwolfe and...oh...right. That.

He rubs his forehead a little, exhaling, before standing.
]

It will pass. I need something to put the fire out.
wolfehawke: (it can't be)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-23 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Water. Behind... bar.

[The sensation fades with Fenris no longer drawing on mana but still leaves Adalwolfe panting and sweating over the lit candle, all but oblivious to the little embers burning but not spreading on the floor nearby. How did Fenris stand it on the station when they'd fought the slavers, Wolfe casting spells left and right? How did he stand it back in Kirkwall, with not only Wolfe but Anders and Merrill too? True he's likely used to the sensation of mages around him, but that doesn't make it any less a revelation to Adalwolfe. It's one thing to hold person prejudices but he'd never said anything about how much it hurt.]

Is it always...?

[He takes a breath, shakes his head, and gets to his feet to stamp out some of the flames that aren't likely to hurt him.]

I mean... why didn't you ever...?

[Another pause and he drops pretense, drops his confusion. Instead, for just a moment, he looks positively wretched that he could cause that sensation without ever realizing.]

I'm so sorry.
Edited 2017-01-23 23:34 (UTC)
wolfuncaged: (Her every step away from me)

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-01-24 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
[He nods, getting up toe retrieve it, throwing it on the fire to douse it out. He remains standing for a moment, silent. The honest answer is that he never thought to say anything about it. He'd been forced to become adjusted to it, it never mattered if he liked it or not. His pain was Danarius' delight. ]

It's not your fault. You didn't do it to me.

[He looks down at the little bucket he'd got the water in, before moving to place it back behind the bar. His movements are careful, methodical. ]

It is what it is, Adalwolfe. I've had to learn to live with it. I quite literally didn't remember a time I didn't have that in my life.

[He looks down at his hands, unmarred. He had wondered, what he looked like, without the brands. Now he knows, at the cost of someone else receiving his burden.]

If I had said anything, nothing would change. You couldn't stop using your magic, not in battle. Just like Anders couldn't stop healing people. Worse, if you'd tried to stop using it around me, you would have likely got yourselves killed- given the times you've had to use it the countless times people have attacked us.

['I don't need your pity', that is festering down in his chest, but he doesn't say it. It won't help matters, and he doesn't really mean it in the way it would no doubt be taken. Feeling sorry about it changes nothing. He is what he is. Danarius' final victory over him, he supposes. ]

wolfehawke: (concerned)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-30 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
No, but I...

[What, would have been more careful? Wouldn't have brought Fenris along save on errands where magic was likely to be cast? He already did that for interpersonal reasons. Fenris is right that it wouldn't have changed anything, but even so he can't help but lament that he didn't know. Not for that, but because of what he's trying to do now. To actually get to know Fenris, the good and the bad, and find some kind of common bond that tells him he's not insane for caring about the damn elf when back home he'd tried to chop Hawke in half out of prejudice.]

It wouldn't have changed anything in action, no. It couldn't, not with what was going on, but I do want to know when I'm hurting someone I care about. It's never something I want to do. I have to wonder if you - the you from my Thedas - resented that I never thought to ask.

[How could Wolfe have asked, when he had no idea? But that logic doesn't enter his head. All he sees is where he did wrong, all the flaws in his best intentions. It's all he ever sees. At the very least, it shows it isn't pity, but something more internalized to Hawke. His fault somehow, inevitably, because everything is somehow his fault, and therefore his responsibility to make it right. Its been ingrained into him since he was a child. Be an example, protect and keep safe, and any failing of that whether he could have done something or not is a deep cut in him.

Not for the first time, he wonders if he deserves the great scar down his chest, the last memory of his Fenris or perhaps deserved worse. He couldn't, not in that final showdown. He had to get to Meredith, had to defend the mages, there was no way he could be allowed to lose that fight. But the cost...

He runs his fingers over his shirt, rumpling the vest that's part of his bartender uniform as he traces the scar, and looks grimly at the lit candle.]
wolfuncaged: (This animal I have become)

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-01-30 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[Fenris pauses, considering, his eyebrows knitted in a frown. ]

My Hawke never asked, and I didn't especially resent him for it. I resented him for a lot of things, but not that. People generally don't ask about it.

[Either because they're afraid to or they don't want to breach the subject. Perhaps, like Adalwolfe, they don't even realise it at all. He's never really held it against anyone. It's just a thing he has to live with.

Still, even Fenris isn't completely without ability to sense the tone of a room. He looks at Adalwolfe, watching that hand movement and sighs.
]

I am not your Fenris, I cannot guess what would have changed to make me turn against you. But I can promise you, it would not be that.
wolfehawke: (half smile)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-02-02 03:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Mm.

[He hears Fenris, but isn't sure what else to say besides giving a noise of acknowledgement. He knows it's not this one thing that would have made the elf stand against him. It's a collection of little things, a lack of understanding between them even when Adalwolfe would have gladly helped Fenris with anything, asked or not. He'd just kept too much distance because he'd thought that was what Fenris wanted. Maybe that was what Fenris wanted, just... not what he needed.]

No, I know some of what it was.

[His fingers stay where they are, moving as if the scar underneath aches. Perhaps it does.]

I wasn't there enough. Didn't show you - him - that I could be trusted.

[He sighs and drops his hands, then gives an awkward sort of half smile with little mirth behind it.]

Sorry, we should be dealing with magic, not my idiot mistakes.
wolfuncaged: (You'll pay any price)

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-02-02 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[Fenris heaves out a deep sigh. ]

It it matters for anything I feel that I can trust you. I would not be sitting here doing this with you if I did not.
wolfehawke: (That's the stuff)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-02-03 03:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[Those words catch Adalwolfe and he looks up at Fenris with widened eyes. Of course it makes sense logically. If Fenris doesn't trust someone, he's not going to give them the time of day. He's seen it plain enough with Anders. But to actually hear him say that Wolfe has his trust is something... He never thought he'd hear it, even if it's what he's worked towards with this Fenris. Should have all along, back home, too. He thought he had but if that was so, he would have tried harder, surely? Or is it the differences? Sebastian, or this new time and place, that makes this possible.

Whatever it is, he's not going to squander it. If Fenris judges him as trustworthy than that's not just a gift, that's something he's earned, and he should strive to remain worthy of that.

Adalwolfe clears his throat and bows his head a bit, trying uncharacteristically not to show just how much that means to him.]


Right. Well.

[He clears his throat again.]

You've got how the fire feels down. Now it's just learning how to work with it without collateral damage.
wolfuncaged: (Tell me what I'm not supposed to know)

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-02-03 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[He would be right. It was hard earned. Fenris didn't give his trust out easily. He exhales softly, looking at the candle. Right. More magic learning. That's what they were there for. ]

...So to manipulate the flames?
wolfehawke: (Small smile)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-02-04 04:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Sort of.

[He licks the pads of his fingers, feeling a bit like he's licking foil in the act for all the lyrium. It gives him pause for a moment, but then he shakes his head and pinches out the candle.]

Do it again, only this time just the candle.
wolfuncaged: (Figures dancing gracefully)

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-02-05 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
[Fenris keeps a quiet eye on him before focusing on the candle once more.]

...Right.

[He reaches out with his finger, brow furrowing. For a few moments nothing happens, then he feels the surge and flow of the magic. A part of him still baulks against it, pulls away, protects himself from it. He tries to fight it, however, just so he can do this, to make himself safe. A spark flickers and lights the candle.

He doesn't look exactly pleased about it, it's still magic. But he did it. Yay.
]
wolfehawke: (hesitant)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-02-07 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Good job.

[Adalwolfe smiles at Fenris for the effort. It's a tentative thing, knowing just by the look on the elf's face that this entire thing is not a triumph for him, just a continuation of the hell he's caught in concerning magic, but it's still progress. It's also a tentative thing because it still causes a great deal of discomfort to have Fenris drawing mana from his skin. At least this time he was ready for it.

Again he pinches out the flame, just as his father did when teaching him.]


Light it again.
wolfuncaged: (My life is null and void)

wrap?

[personal profile] wolfuncaged 2017-02-08 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[Fenris lets out a soft, annoyed huff. This...is going to get very repetitious, very quickly. But he knows it must happen. He closes his eyes, exhaling softly. And repeats. Eventually, he gets the candle to light every time, so hooray for him.

He absolutely is not happy about it though. Grouchiest student ever.
]
wolfehawke: (Small smile)

wrap!

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-02-10 05:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[And around they go, Adalwolfe not letting up until can light the candle expertly with little effort. Yes, good on him, especially considering Adalwolfe had thrown a fit at this father the first time he'd made him repeat this exercise over and over. Granted, Wolfe had been barely twelve and his life had very suddenly gotten a lot more complicated with the advent of his magic. Fenris is older, and won't have to deal with it for all that much longer probably.

Hopefully.

Maker, but he does want his magic back...

At least this serves a purpose, though. Maybe a bit more understanding between them. He won't hold his breath, but a Champion can dream.]