Open: July Starstruck mingle log

[wingedman]

Who: Crew of the Starstruck and visitors
Broadcast: n/a
Action: Starstruck
When: July, post-calibrations

[July on the Starstruck is so bright, you gotta wear shades. Good thing everyone has a pair now! In other news, the first mate is in a coma, the captain is hella cranky, and the tunes now feature Lady Gaga and Queen.]

Comments

[mucked]

[ dirty tactics, that. invoking steve's name. peggy frowns again -- knee-jerk unhappy with just about every layer she sees fit to untangle. she just about manages to choke back the argument that no one's required her to be here, whether she needs the coffee to get her through the visit or not.

she's defensive. she's sore. but she manages to mitigate her response a little bit. ]

Are you certain coffee is strong enough, then?

[outstandingbalance]

[Never let it be said the Black Widow fights fair.]

It'll have to be. Barnes and I already finished off all my liquor. [It's a joke. A gentle one, and meant as a kind of consolation. The kind Peggy might accept—disguised as something else and presenting a tiny bit of information about Natasha's life as a peace offering.] I think coffee will be enough. God help me, though, I may actually put some sugar in it.

[mucked]

[ information, indeed. because barnes doesn't drink-drink, so at least one half of the endeavor must have been more social than all else. supportive, maybe. peggy files it away and (with a pang) considers it another bit of intel to share with steve in their slowly growing dossier on the pair.

when he wakes up. ]

Good Lord.

[ -- mild, wry, and utterly intended as a vague response to either statement. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha will take it as a response to both, because it seems fitting enough.]

We've earned it.

[mucked]

Sugar?

[ so very intentionally obtuse. it's not fooling anyone -- but then again, it was never meant to. ]

Maybe so. Still won't see me polluting mine with it. [ she lifts her cup. ]

[outstandingbalance]

Well, I think we've established you have far stronger feelings about your morning beverages than I do.

[Gently, letting her eyes fall.]

We can blame England for that?

[mucked]

-- You can blame rationing for it, actually.

[ she liked sugar well enough, when she was little, but over time she'd learned to do without. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[A little twitch of the eyebrow at that.]

Probably best not to examine that too closely.

[The different ways British war time rationing and Soviet Russian deprivation influenced adult tastes in food was certainly an academic interest someone might have, but it won't be Natasha.]

But I meant your affection for tea. Pollute is a strong word.

[mucked]

Is it? It's just a word -- no more or less stronger than most.

[ she's resistant. perhaps because it'd only ever been said in the spirit of hyperbole. of stretched, molded, played with language. that might be a product of her upraising more so than how she takes her tea. understatement and overstatement in equal bloody measure. ]

Although it's true enough. I'd sooner drink nothing than a builder's.

[outstandingbalance]

Then I'll say my point stands. [Natasha accepts that Peggy is resistant because she's Peggy. And Peggy in a bad mood, and they've all had a terrible month and a half or so at this point.]

Is it good? That. [Glancing at the tea.] Not the builder's.

[mucked]

It's my favourite. [ -- classically caustic, that. ] But despite it being something of an unexpected blend, I rather like it. It's got body.

[ or soul. or both. peggy's expression twitches and she knows she shouldn't put too obvious a point on it. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[There's no need to.] Well, if it keeps you warm, that's the important part?

[Natasha sits down with her coffee, politely not on the counter this time.

She considers what she could say, toying with the idea of honesty before back-burnering it. She's not the only one who might find that awkward; Peggy isn't the most open person in the world about her private life.]

I assume you've been staying busy.

[mucked]

Busier than I was aboard the Marsiva, that's for certain.

[ she believes, absolutely, that natasha could walk out of this conversation if she didn't want to have it. and so there must be some part of the woman that invites it, even as she doesn't welcome it. even as she need coffee to endure it.

but peggy wonders why. is it because of what she'd seen in natasha's had? because of what natasha had seen? or because of steve's coma. there are too many variables in the air. none of which please her. ]

And we're a man down. So there's plenty of work to go around.

[ sort of. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[Or all of the above. Natasha could probably at a few other reasons too. The worst part was that every reason not to have this conversation was also a reason to have it. Didn't work the same way in reverse.]

He always does have bad timing, doesn't he? [Peggy knew that as well as anyone. Probably better.]

[mucked]

I'd rather hoped he'd grown out of it.

[ -- which is a stupid thing to say, probably, but peggy is clearly unprepared to engage with the topic proper. ]

[outstandingbalance]

I think Steve Rogers is constitutionally opposed to growing out of anything. [Too much like changing his mind or admitting he's wrong.] And you can tell him I said that when he wakes up.

[mucked]

I just might. [ tell him. peggy teases a fingertip along the edge of her cup. her frown persists. ]

It's not true, though. He's grown out of some things.

[ ugh, this is thin ice. she shouldn't be discussing him at all. at all. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha sips her coffee, expression neutral. She doesn't intend to push the topic if Peggy isn't comfortable with it, but it is one of the reasons she's here.]

I believe he'd grow. Somehow I always imagine it's more like going further in the direction he was already pointed.

[Which to be fair might be more or less what most of them do.]

[mucked]

[ south, she thinks but doesn't say. it's not a charitable thought -- but shadowed and unhappy and she should kept it well-swept under the rug. ]

-- I keep wondering whether he's going to wake up with even more fresh memories.

[ more so-called growth. ]

[outstandingbalance]

It's a possibility. But honestly, isn't that always a possibility? For any of us.

[mucked]

For any of us. [ a beat. ] Jarvis remembered a bit more, lately. I actually know what the next twenty four will look like -- back home. For me.

It's daunting.

[outstandingbalance]

He told you what's going to happen?

[Natasha has been against that, for the most part. Seems like it causes more trouble than it's worth. But not everyone has always agreed on the same leave home at home policy.]

[mucked]

He did. Not with any ill-intention, of course, but he makes for a terrible liar sometimes.

[ and peggy had failed to mention certain other details to him. things had come out in the wash, so to speak, and those details had a vague bearing on what they'd both seen in each others' dream spaces. ]

[outstandingbalance]

I don't have a hard time believing that. On the other hand, he might surprise me. He has before. [She wouldn't have imagined him as a pilot.]

[mucked]

He's remarkable. I think, perhaps, I don't always give him enough credit -- except that within twenty-four hours of returning back home I apparently give him enough to put him in the field alongside...[ peggy hesitates, eyes darkening for a moment. ]

Well. Alongside Dottie Underwood.

[ she doesn't need to explain to natasha how mad that strategy must be. ]