driftfleet | 'cause it's better than nothing

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'cause it's better than nothing

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(last updated: 1/25/19)

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[Natasha didn't intend to look at more flowers; she gets the idea, and she doesn't need to see that. She can also appreciate that joke, softening the blow.]

I'll keep that in mind. ...Should we go inside?

It would probably be more comfortable. Being outside for very long makes me nervous.

[Wanda leads the way back to the curved couches. Magically, the hot chocolate and pastries on the table are still warm. The pastries are cut-up spirals, cinnamon on one side and chocolate on the other, that Natasha might recognize as kürtőskalács.]

You can have some if you want. I don't mind.

...Thank you. They look delicious. [Probably more memories or emotions, but at least Wanda doesn't seem to be trying to protect them.

It's even friendly. Natasha sits, reaching for the pastry.]

Some hot chocolate would be nice.

You can have some of it too. I would never be that mean.

[Wanda laughs, seemingly at ease with whatever memories are tied to the food. And as soon as Natasha takes a bite or a drink, the room gives way to another vision:

It's night and cold outside, but Wanda barely feels it. The festive atmosphere of Novi Grad's Christmas markets has her in a great mood and it makes her happy just to see Pietro enjoying himself. His hair is brown - this must be the days before the experiments.

"I think these get better every year," she says with a laugh, and Pietro says something muffled by the pastry in his mouth. She laughs again and nudges him playfully. "Swallow first! You're going to get it everywhere."

He does and grins at her. "You're looking cold, Wanda. We should get you some hot chocolate before you freeze."

"Mmmm, what about the spiced cider?" A moment passes while they both grin. "Or I think we might be able to spare enough for both."

They walk through the market, taking in the sights and sounds, and occasionally Wanda will reach out to wistfully touch some soft-looking winter wear. They can afford to splurge on some of the food here, but that's about it.

Still, when they get their drinks and find a bench to sit and share their treats, Wanda doesn't feel lacking at all. She leans into Pietro's side and closes her eyes in contentment. If only she could bottle this moment and hold onto it forever.

When the memory fades, Wanda's still sitting there smiling sadly.]

I've tried to make these several times, but they're never as good as the ones from home.

[Natasha sets the cup down, inclining her head to hide her face, the memory pleasant but bittersweet given everything that's come since it.]

I'd offer to help, but I've never been that good of a baker. [She can follow a recipe, but some things go beyond recipes.] They're delicious though. Whoever made them knew what they were doing.

[Some of the memories here are actually painful, but many are only painful because they all know how the story ends.]

I think it must be a family secret? It was an older woman and her daughter. New York has many things, but...nothing quite like this.

[A beat.] I hope they're all right now.

I hope so too. [They couldn't assume, though. There was no way to now if one or both of them had been casualties. But Natasha does hope for the best.] Maybe some day we'll have time to visit again.

[She looks down into her own hot chocolate.]

It was my fault. I should be doing more.

I should have made time.

It's not your fault. [Wanda takes too much on herself. It's not the first time, and Natasha doubts it will be the last.] One of the few things we can't make is time.

[And Natasha's about to meet the embodiment of the reason why.]

All that power and she never can save the ones she cares about.

[Wanda stiffens, eyes wide with fear. It's Ultron, but...twisted. Even more sinister-looking, if that's possible. He's taller, animated with shadow energy that looks like the dark twin to Wanda's own powers, and his eyes are a burning red. Runes and sigils are scored all over his metal body.]

You know she'll fail you too.

[That took an unexpected turn. Normally these environments are museums in their way, archives collecting all of a person's joys and trauma and holding them in various symbolic organization.

Which has been true of Wanda too, so far, and Natasha imagines still is.

This symbolism is a hell of a thing though.]

Maybe.

[Wanda's felt fragmented ever since the fall of Novi Grad - her powers a strange alien thing sharing her body and her guilt and self-hatred constantly dogging her steps. Here they are all separate entities: the girl and the dragon and the evil force keeping them here.

But Wanda's used to arguing with this part of herself, not Natasha's vague dismissal. Ultron-Koschei gives the pair of them a look and vanishes in that strange shadow energy.

He isn't gone, of course. But Nat's bought them a moment of peace.]

You don't sound worried, [Wanda says quietly. Even in her head her voice sounds small.] It doesn't frighten you?

Of which part? [She manages to sound flippant, but she still relaxes very slightly when the thing is gone.

She's still tense, but—well, she's been tense this whole time.] Of Ultron, or failure?

[Though on both counts, she'd say the answer is no. At least no for all practical intents and purposes.]

[Look, she's not judging. Her fear and negative self-talk wouldn't be manifesting as Ultron if he didn't still frighten her.]

What I might cause again.

...what if he's right?

[That's a complicated question. However, it has a relatively simple answer. She shrugs.]

Not really frightened of that, no. I know you. I trust you.

[Wanda's expression turns pained and she looks away, unable to meet Natasha's gaze. But then again, if it was that simple, her self-doubt wouldn't have manifested in such a disturbing way.]

...I'm sorry. About Johannesburg.

You don't have to apologize for that. [It's not much of a struggle to shake off her own hesitation about the apology. Not that she's comfortable with what she saw in her own mind, but because she's made peace with the fact it was Wanda who dug it out.] You were doing what you thought you had to.

I still hurt you.

[Which was the point. She could have just knocked the Avengers out, but she'd chosen to make them hurt instead.]

A lot of people got hurt because of me. Ultron couldn't have done it without us.

Probably. Or maybe he would have found another way. Wanda, I'm not going to say it was fine at the time, but I let that go a long time ago.

[They all could have done a lot of things differently in their pasts.]

You can too, as far as I'm concerned.

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