driftfleet | may mingle (blameless!)

Kitty. [ That was her name. Still, old habits die hard and codenames had become natural to Raven; that's why she was Mystique, Sean was Banshee, Janos was Riptide. It was easier, but some people slipped through the cracks - Hank would never really be Beast and Erik would never really be Magneto, even if that's what the rest of the world called them. It's just how it worked when you were too close to someone and she knows it now in a way she hadn't when she was so much younger and playing around with her powers at tha CIA. ]

She told me. It sounds - bad. [ Which is an understatement, but Raven doesn't want to talk about it. She doesn't want to talk about a world where Charles is dead and some other version of herself doesn't seem too concerned about it, being an "ally" and nothing else. She's Charles' sister and even with the distance between them she knows that she would mourn him for the rest of her life, would cry and break and practically lose her mind if he was taken from her, if someone dared to try and kill him.

Hank's arm around her brings her away from the morose thoughts and she tilts her head up, watching him for a moment before she swallows. He says he'll listen and, really, she thinks she needs to tell someone. There was only her and Erik that knew the truth, that knew what the Government had done to their kind, their Brotherhood, and she has to get it off her chest. She had seen too much, suffered too much, and she had borne it on her own shoulders because she had to, with no one else to turn to. ]

Azazel and Angel were killed in a firefight not long after we left - 1963. It was July, I think. [ Raven's voice is quiet and low, and she speaks almost hoarsely - because it hurts. They were her friends and they were gone. ] They were ambushed while they were asleep and their bodies were taken to Trask. He cut them up and examined them so he could use what he learned to make his machines to kill us.

[ Her voice gets quieter and quieter, more hollow as she continues, the hurt bursting inside of her and dragging her down. ]

Emma was killed as well - I don't know how they snuck up on her. Before I went to Paris I snuck into Trask's office pretending to be him and I found all his files. All of them. They cut off Angel's wing. They had Azazel on a slab - they probably couldn't see anything but his red skin, but they'd have done what you did with me and looked at his genes to try and make machines that could teleport. It would be easy to damn him, right, because he was red and had a tail - as if it mattered, as if having wings or tails or blue skin made us evil or monsters.

[ She breathes out, shaky, and lifts her hand to wipe at her eyes - a single tear slips through, just as it had then. ]

Yeah, it's - bad. [and he's happy to leave it for another day. Because talking about Kitty's world brings the topic of Charles' death, of what another version of him turned into, and - that isn't something he wants to talk about.

But - she talks, and he listens. There's no love lost when it came to Azazel or Emma, but he'd never wanted either of them dead. And Angel . . . they'd all bonded that one night, and when Hank could talk about those days, he always spoke of her too, because she was once with them. She had left like Raven did, for something she believed to be better. He couldn't fault her for that. And Sean - how he had even gotten involved, he had no idea, and he didn't want to ask.

And they had died, for what they were trying to do for mutants, for simply existing, for having the gall to be different despite none of them even having a choice. No one in their world chose to be mutants, they were still human, and -

He can't react. He can feel his anger swelling as Raven goes on, all sorts of emotions he can't settle on, and he has to force it all back down. Mostly, anger that she had to deal with all of this on her own, while he and Charles dealt with their own problems in the mansion, with Erik in prison, and there was Raven, shouldering it all.

He lets out a sharp noise, his arm tightening around her as much as he dares]

I'm sorry. [what can he even say to all of that? What can he offer that isn't just words and comfort?] I'm - I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that on your own. That you lost your friends. [it doesn't feel like enough]

[ Raven appreciates Hank's words because she knows he means them; there's a kind of hollowness that haunts apologies from other people, idle words that don't really mean anything, and they just make the pain worse. So many people didn't care about mutants or their suffering, so many of them didn't give a damn as long as they didn't have to worry about being a part of it, burying their heads in the sand and hiding away, but there were people who did care. People like her, people like Hank, people like Charles. They all cared in different ways, but at least their caring meant something.

More importantly, Hank listens to her. Raven was used to being cut off, spoken over, and being independent for so long had made her so much stronger and far more proud than she had ever been before, and she refused to let herself be spoken down to. The fact that Hank listens, he doesn't try to make her think that she over reacts or goes to far... It soothes a rattled part of her and she breathes out, resting her head on his shoulder and accepting the comfort that he offered because it was there and it was him. She would have to get used to the feeling eventually, but maybe she could revel in the novelty for now.

Still, there are some things she still had to say and she tilts her head up to look at Hank, careful and sure even as she takes a deep breath. ]

Thank you. But - I know I dealt with it alone but it was my choice. I could have come home but I didn't want to, and I didn't feel like I should. [ Maybe she ought to have, maybe she should have come back and helped with Charles and all the grief and pain, but hindsight makes the world far clearer than it was during the experience itself. She knows she would never have been able to go back, even if the idea of it makes her uncomfortable.

For a moment she's quiet, uncertain, but then she tilts her head up to look at Hank with searching eyes. ]

Hank? If I tell you something - do you promise not to hate me?

[he understands that, at least objectively. Would he have rather her came home and dealt with it, with him and Charles so she didn't have to do it on her own? Absolutely. He would have rather learned everything from her, if given the choice. But he understands, and he nods, and it's enough to push his anger down the rest of the way, for now. Until it can explode later, when he isn't worried about overwhelming himself while still trying to be her support]

I - get it, I know. [he winces a little at how it sounds and quickly continues] I mean - I know what it's like to make that choice. Dealing with it on your own and all.

[and she looks at him and - his brows furrow, utterly confused. Why would he hate her? What is all of this all of a sudden? There's a pit in his stomach and he isn't sure why]

I wouldn't hate you. Don't - be ridiculous, you know I could never hate you.

[ This is the difficult part, she thinks - this is the bit that's going to be hard. Along with all the death and the pain there was something good hidden with it all; something she had clung to, and even if she can't tell Hank everything she knows he has the right to know some things, especially with how things are changing and reshaping between them. She can't lie to him, even if it's a lie by omission, and her eyes search his face for a moment before she breathes out. ]

I know, it's okay. We've both had to make choices we shouldn't have had to - we didn't deserve what happened to us. None of us did.

[ Slowly, slowly, Raven shifts up and turns so she's facing Hank properly. It hurts her heart, but the words have to come - and she has to tell him before they figure out what they're sharing, whatever is happening between them. If he wants her then she could have it, she would want it too, but it has to come with honesty and trust because that had been shattered between them. ]

You - you have to understand that I never thought I was going to come back. I didn't really think I would ever see you again, and I... Hank, I wanted to move on. So I did, at least for a little while. [ Raven frowns, trying to find the right words; it's hard and she can't truly express how she feels about Azazel, not really. ] We were a Brotherhood, and we were a family. But I was closer to some of them than others, do you understand? Someone in particular.

[ And it wouldn't be Erik, who was the leader and more of a family figure to her (despite her bedroom antics before they left) and it wouldn't be Sean or Janos, who rarely spoke. There was only one person, really, and she knows Hank is smart enough to pick up on it. ]

No . . . none of us did. [that much he can admit to, past the guilt for everything that's happened. Has said as much to Charles, when they were discussing similar things.

And . . .

Oh.

It's this conversation.

He can't . . . even pretend that he doesn't know already. He had wanted to hope, of course - that the other worlds had been different in this respect, that Raven hadn't - had a relationship with Azazel in their world, and yet here it is.

He doesn't look surprised, at least. It borders more on accepting and exasperated and - no, he can't be hurt. They had gone their separate ways, and he knows that]

Azazel, right?

[that's it, that's all he's saying]

[ The fact that it doesn't seem to surprise him should irritate her, but it's more of a relief than anything else. It makes the burden easier, as if she can come to grips with what she wants from Hank and what she wanted in the past, too. It's not as if it makes it all perfect, as if they could just move on and go on happily, but it helps. Just a little, at least in her mind.

It might not be the same in Hank's.

While she isn't exactly ashamed of herself she does feel a bit of discomfort, moving her hands away from where they had been so close to Hank, letting her body shift back too. Her hands end up resting on her legs, fidgeting anxiously, and she nods, once, a slow, careful thing. ]

Azazel.

[ She ends up breathing out, closing her eyes as she speaks. ]

I don't need to explain it, or excuse myself. I'm not sure what I should say, since it was us and not you. But you deserve to know because we - you and I were -

[ Kissing. And touching. And being close again and even in the mansion she had wanted him. It wasn't fair that something this big was kept from him, at least for now. ]

[he lets her move away, but it isn't because of the reveal - again, it's on her terms, and - this is a conversation too awkward to have while they're cuddled up to each other.

He isn't sure what he wants to say, and it's obvious in the way he reaches up to take off his glasses, needing something to fiddle with as he gathers his thoughts. Thoughts he's pushed away time and again because he didn't want to acknowledge it.

Finally he sighs, and - he can't help it, he huffs out a noise and rolls his eyes]

I wouldn't ask you to explain yourself. We weren't - together at the time, and it - it isn't as though you aren't allowed to . . . to have other relationships.

[HE HATES THIS CONVERSATION] I don't hate you. I'm not even - angry about it. It doesn't change how I feel about you. [even if that part comes out almost petulantly.

A pause]

But you should ask me how I know. Because - if you don't I'm going to keep putting it off.

[ A petulant, teenage part of Raven doesn't want to talk about this and she watches Hank, watching to see if there's any sign that might give her a chance to run away and avoid the topic now that it's up in the air. The problem is that Hank seems so certain, as if it was knowledge someone else had told him - and, knowing this place, it might well be. She doesn't know what happened before she woke up here and she doesn't know what everyone else knows; she only knows what she herself can offer Hank, right here and right now.

Still, she's oddly charmed by his awkward fumbling, fiddling away as if she wasn't baring her heart to him in her own way. Admitting things like this is hard, but - she knows what she wants, and what she wants is to spend more time with Hank, bridge the unspoken thing they never managed to work out before she left. ]

It didn't change how I felt about you, either. I know I was hurt, that night, and I know that I wanted you to see what I did, but - it doesn't mean I ever stopped feeling how I did. Ten years doesn't feel like a long time when you look in the mirror and nothing changes.

[ It only felt like a long time because of the pain, and the heartache.

Hesitantly, though, she leans forward, fighting back the frown on her face. The answer seems obvious. ]

The other mutants.

[never in his life has he been more thankful for the serum, because it limits what he can react to and - boy is it helping now. Along with the mess of - everything that comes with this, he's suddenly more nervous than ever, and he doesn't stop fiddling with his glasses. Cleaning invisible stains on the lenses over and over]

You - kind of made that obvious when you stopped at the mansion. [it's a weak attempt at humor, and he smiles briefly to get it across] And when - you came over here the first time. I know how you feel, and you know how I feel, so - so it's - it's okay.

[he glances up from his glasses briefly and meets her expression, his own nervous and like he wants to flee]

Yes, but - [he's going to do it. He has to, before another thing is sprung on her without warning]

There's two in particular, though. They're - both named Kurt, but they come from different - versions of our world. [he looks back down at his glasses] And - they're both teleporters, like Azazel. [and then back up, to watch her expression] With blue skin.

[ Hank keeps fiddling and playing and Raven knows something is going to come - he wouldn't be so nervous otherwise, and her eyes dance over him features before she takes a deep breath. For a moment she's scared that something awful is going to happen, but the words come out and she tenses, almost frozen in place. The names come and all of it links together and she almost recoils, shaking her head. ]

Hank, I - [ She swallows, and she tenses, looking away. Her hands clench around nothing and she shakes her head, not able to look at him right now - because she can't. She can't handle it and she wants to go back to the easy comfort of laying with Hank and knowing she's wanted, being able to devote her whole attention to him rather than having some of her mind focussed on being human instead of mutant. ]

I can't talk about - that. Please. [ Teleporters with blue skin. She knows what it means and she knows what Hank knows, or thinks he knows, and she shakes her head, closing her eyes. ] Not right now. There's been too much already and I think my brain is going to melt and I can't, Hank, I just can't, all I wanted -

[ Breathing out, she shakes her head again. ]

All I want is for you to kiss me and tell me it's going to be okay, that - that everything here will work out. It's selfish, I know, telling you all these things and wanting so much from you, but I can't help it. I can't help myself when it comes to you.

Edited 2016-05-15 03:18 (UTC)

[he's staring at her, he knows he is, and the only thing that snaps him out of it is that he can hear his glasses creaking. It startles him into dropping them, and blankly he watches them clatter to the floor before he looks back up at Raven again.

And - maybe it's weak and selfish of him, to be completely okay with not discussing it, not asking the questions he's refused to acknowledge since he found out about it all. But if it is, he doesn't care. He can't, he doesn't want to, and - he told her. It's out of the way. She can do what she wants with the information and - he'll be there to listen or support or completely stay out of it.

He knows he's weak when it comes to her, though. She'd ask him for the moon and he'd try to figure out a way to give it to her.

Barely a second passes after she finishes talking that he moves, his actions almost desperate. He crowds into her space, one hand braced on the bed by her hip and the other pressed to her cheek, leans in close until his lips are just barely brushing hers - and has to forcibly stop himself because he has to talk first.

When he does his voice is just as weak, rough and forced out] Whatever you want, it's yours.

[and then he gives in and kisses her, to say everything else he can't manage without words]

[ Suddenly, as if lightning has struck her, Raven knows what she needs. She knows and she understands that all she needs is to be able to be herself, to share herself with someone who understands her, to be able to be happy with the person that she has cared about for so long - ten years and more. She remembers going back to the mansion and Hank taking care of her leg, remembers looking at him and hearing that the serum wears down when he gets worked up. She remembers watching his face and feeling the burn of wanting more, the touch of his hand against her body and the warmth it inspired -

she remembers the happiness of feeling beautiful and wanted. She had thought she would never have that with Hank, that she would never be able to feel cherished as herself while she still wanted him. She had been wrong, and she's never been so happy to be proven wrong before.

They're both being selfish now, though. They both want so much from each other and it's not going to be easy. She's been here two weeks and spent most of her time with Hank, or in Hank's room, letting herself bask in the silence of his company and baring her heart to him because she didn't have anyone else, couldn't ask anyone else, and he had been as solid and sure as she could have ever dreamed.

As Hank moves Raven does too, shifting towards him as if she's magnetised to him, the North to her South, drawing her closer with instinct more than anything else. Hank might be weak when it comes to her but she knows she's weak to him as well, passing a part of her heart over towards him without hesitation, lifting her hand to wrap it around his neck without a pause just because she needs to touch him, needs to feel him and know that he's there and that they both want this. ]

I just - I want you. Whatever you can give me, whatever I can give you, it's all I want-

[ And then he's kissing her and it's different from kissing him when he's blue but not at all because it's Hank. It might not be the most healthy way to handle things and it might not be the most productive, but she presses into the kiss and draws him closer, drowning in the warmth of him and the taste of his lips against her own, the thrum of joy and want lighting her up from the inside out. ]

[a distant part of his mind desperately tries to remember if he locked the door. He's pretty sure he did. God, he hopes he did.

And that's all his mind is good for, really, because his hands are moving before he can catch up to what he's doing, the hand on Raven's cheek sliding up into her, the one on the bed moving up to rest on her hip. He can feel all of his careful control beginning to shatter, and -

Fuck it. Forget the serum, forget his control, she wants this from him and he'll give it to her, give himself over completely for all that she gives herself over to him. The hand on her hip pulls her even closer, until she's as close as she can be in their positions and kisses her like his life depends on it]

[ And she moves with him in every moment; the guiding hand on her hip makes her shift, lifting herself up so she's in Hank's lap more than she's out of it, adjusting her legs so she can straddle him properly and lean in for a kiss with a better angle, her arms around his neck and her fingers reaching to stroke through his hair, gentle as she centres herself. He's warm and real and she keeps thinking it each time they do this, each time they kiss, reminding her of the mansion and the passion she had felt then, how it had been so easy to lean over him and give into her urges, to let him touch her and explore - until he had stopped.

Raven wonders if he'll stop now, and she thinks she doesn't want him to.

It's not just that she wants Hank to make all the bad thoughts go away, of course; she isn't using him as a distraction or a tool and she hopes that he knows. Hank has always been the forefront of her mind, has always been so important to her, changing her view of herself and strengthening her, making her stronger and weaker all at once, and he had influenced her more than he knew. Now she can embrace the better side of all of that, letting herself give in to the desire and the depth of feeling she has towards him, her hand on his cheek as she presses closer.

She wants this; she wants him. She wants Hank to know how much she cares about him because, fuck, she's sure she's been half in love with him since they first met and she told him that he was amazing, since their first tentative almost kiss, since she sat on his lap, watched him work, since the first tears and the first kiss and all of it.

It's the kind of thing that never ends, and she embraces it because she wants to. She doesn't fight the affection she has for him because it's good, amazing and perfect and Hank in her arms is the greatest thing she's experienced, Hank touching her so good it makes her want to fall apart as she draws him into a deeper kiss. ]

[if he had been planning to stop, he shows no signs of it. Especially not when she moves to sit in his lap, and he sits back to make it easier, moving with her.

He's no stranger to overwhelming the serum, but it's different each time. Entirely dependent on what's overwhelming him and how, what the state of his emotions are before he completely lets go, and if it's a willing thing or not. Sometimes it's an all-over, quick change; sometimes it's a slow crawl, almost reminiscent of Raven's shapeshifting. But he can tell each time, feel it as his body physically changes and his mutation pushes its way through.

It's subtle at first; he shifts his hand in her hair and briefly pulls it away all together as fur and blue start to emerge, as his nails push their way out into claws. He only draws back long enough to get a breath of air and to allow for his face to go through its changes before moves forward again to resume the kiss.

He doesn't pay attention to the rest. Not when his mind is focused on the only other person in the room, and all he wants is to keep kissing her, touching her, being entirely selfish and not giving a damn about it]

[ Raven doesn't stop when he goes blue; she doesn't change herself either, and that she does on purpose. She shifts herself and settles on his lap, lets herself press close to him and embrace him, but she doesn't change. This time it's because she knows he thinks she's beautiful, but she wants him, all the time, to know that he is too, that she isn't ashamed to kiss him like this, that it doesn't deter her or make her her want to stop. She will kiss him as a 'human' and he will know that, no matter what he looks like, she will want him.

Gentle fingers stroke over his face as the change happens, touching the lines and the new features before she tilts her head up into another kiss, lifting herself closer and pressing her chest against his. It's only when she's sure that Hank has got her point that she changes herself, the pale transforming into blue as she relaxes, her fingers gripping at the fabric of his shirt as she tilts into more and more kisses, wanting to draw them out and have them last forever.

There's no way she will ever get enough of kissing Hank, of touching him, of having their bodies close, and she wants to drag him down and hold herself against him and bask in it without hesitation - because she yearns for him. She adores him.

(She loves him).

Still, she has to lean back for air too and, when she does, her thumb brushes over his lip as her own turn up into a smile. All the bad feelings from before are melting away, and she feels more comfortable than she has in a long time. ]

Hank. [ She doesn't need to say the rest, she thinks. Instead, she cups both his cheeks before letting her hands move, one to the back of his neck and the other to his chest, holding on to him as she leans in for another kiss, addicted to the feel of him. ]

[he - doesn't know what to do about that, but apparently his heart does because his chest bursts with so many emotions he can't put a word to what any of them are. He just knows it means something, and he'll spend a long time holding onto that.

He returns her smile, welcomes her back in when she kisses him again, and both of his hands drop to the small of her back, holding her there, holding her close - and letting the kiss go on until his body has to remind him that he has to breathe. How inconvenient.

It isn't stopping. Hell, it could be barely considered pausing, but he draws back enough to catch his breath again, lips brushing hers and a faint laugh in his voice when he talks, voice lower now that the serum has worn off] I'm not complaining - [a brief kiss to punctuate that] - but we can't - keep doing this in my lab. [another kiss, this one a little longer, lingering] Someone will - interrupt us sooner or later.

[and good god would that be the most awkward moment of his life. He walked in on people; not the other way around]

[ It's wonderful, she thinks, and she wishes they'd had it all those years ago. She wishes that she and Hank could have shared this, but at the same time she knows they would never have been ready for it. As they were they had been too uncertain, too new to it, too unprepared - but they're ready now, both of them, and she's so glad.

For a moment she feels a little bit like a limpet, wrapping all parts of herself around Hank and holding him close, letting herself enjoy it, the way it feels and the sheer gentle, rolling, passionate comfort of it. Both of them need to breathe and it's the only thing that drags her kisses away from him, leaving her almost pouting before she goes in for another and another, unable to stop now that she's started, giving her all to him.

Still, one of them has to be the sensible one and she supposes it might as well be Hank. It's easy to kiss him again, harder and deeper, to bite at his lower lip and draw it out, but she knows he's right. The lab door isn't closed and she's as blue as he is - she might feel unconcerned about that one day, but it isn't today. Today she leans back and nods her head, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek, his forehead. ]

Do you - want to move? [ It comes out uncertain, unsure, Raven wanting to know how far Hank wants to know and not sure how to ask. She does lean up for another kiss, though, this one far more chaste and far quicker, her hands resting on Hank's chest as she breathes out, wiggling a little. ] Is there somewhere else? [ Locking the door probably doesn't help on a fleet of people with powers, and Raven might not be too concerned with being walked in on but she's sure it's not the same for Hank. ]

[he really, really hates that he's the sensible one, but at least the thought doesn't come from all the issues he has with his mutation. No, it comes from him being an awkward human being in general who has never really done this, outside of his times with Raven. And - a quick glance to the door, yep, it was wide open.

Of course, maybe if he could stop kissing her he could get a clear thought across. He isn't sure where he wants this to go either, but then again, he never is. He just doesn't think about that sort of thing, like his brain isn't wired for it outside of - well, now.

He huffs an amused noise and keeps kissing her, though. Short, chaste kisses because he's selfish, and even if he'd rather they do this in private, he's going to make the most of the last few moments like this] Not here. [wryly] This is as private as it gets here. [the Blameless doesn't have private rooms yet and for the first time he really wishes it did] We could find somewhere?

[ Raven quietly appreciates the sensible nature of Hank - while the people on his ship might be used to seeing him blue she really, really isn't used to being herself quite yet and she doesn't trust the people around her, no matter what Kitty says. Pausing to make sure that no one will walk in on them, both for the awkwardness and the safety, is something that soothes her more than she would like to admit. She's comfortable here with Hank, but she doesn't trust the rest of the fleet just yet no matter who is here.

It's incredibly hard not to kiss Hank, and it's obvious from the way she keeps leaning into each one even as they try to speak to each other. Now that they're here it's difficult to stop, and knowing that if they do might mean that they have to talk about things and what it means to be here together, sharing this, the fact that she will probably leave again when they get home but come back as well, not wanting to be too far away but needing the space - it's hard, and she doesn't want to consider those things, she can't, but she has to cling to it all the same.

Still, the intensity calms down and softens into gentle, chaste kisses that are more sweet than anything else. She has no idea where they would have gone if sense hadn't stepped in, but it's not something she was particularly against; she just isn't sure how far Hank wants to go, how far he has gone, how much she can push and tug at him before it becomes too much. ] The Caprine is awful. I sleep in the engine room because they all sleep together. [ Which means; there's no privacy there, either. She looks almost petulant as she leans close, leaving a kiss on the curve of his jaw. ] I don't think there is anywhere, Hank.

[at the very least, Hank has no plans to talk about things they don't want to at the moment. He's past that - their conversation earlier had been intense enough to put him off from bringing anything up that may lead them that way again, and he'd rather they just - enjoy time with each other. The thing they keep bringing up. It isn't so much working things out as just . . . catching up on all the time they missed]

You—Raven. Don't sleep in the engine room. [it isn't chiding, not really. There's humor in his voice and he lets his head fall back, finally, groaning at how ironic this whole situation is. If he wasn't convinced that his life was a big joke before, he was now. Of course they'd both be on ships without any sense of privacy.

He slides a hand up her back, comforting as he huffs] There's empty rooms on the Iskaulit, and hotels on the moon. If - we want privacy. [he's so glad that the blue doesn't really allow for blushing, but he can't keep the flustered tone out of his voice] We could just - go somewhere. Together.

I'll sleep where I like. [ She says it gently, though, kissing Hank again because she can't stop. It's not that she minds the bunks or the lack of privacy, exactly - it's not as if the Brotherhood ever had a mansion to live in while they were on the run - it's just that she doesn't know anyone. She doesn't trust the strangers. ] I'll start sleeping in here if I have to.

[ But, still, the choice seems to be in her hands, and Raven is quiet for a moment as she considers what to do. She's not sure how far Hank really wants to go and while she's comfortable with her own wants and desires - it's not as though she's completely new to this sort of thing, as the awkward conversation from before has shown them both - she knows that, maybe, Hank isn't. She doesn't know how much he wants from her and it's both confusing and refreshing at once; it's nice to think that there's a hint of unknown tied up with all the comfort and glee of being together again.

Hank's hand soothes the tension in her back and she tilts her head up, watching him for a long moment before she lets her palm lift up to settle against the side of his neck, grounding her there. ] I want to go somewhere with you. Just us, for - as long as we can have it. [ It'd be nice to pretend the rest of the world didn't exist, just as they had in the mansion when she had questioned him about his lack of blue, when they had pressed together and found each other. Hank reminds her of home in the best ways, and she has to ignore the bad parts to make it perfect. ]

Where do you want to go? [ The question comes out quiet and soft, Raven's hand warming against the skin of his neck. ] Hank, what do you want right now? [ Raven's not an idiot and she can tell he's flustered, would be ducking his head and fighting red cheeks if he wasn't blue, and she smiles softly as she kisses him again, her voice quiet when she leans back to speak. ] I just want you.

[how is he supposed to think straight when they keep kissing each other? Gentle or not, he still huffs. A part of it is selfish, but he doesn't like the idea that she feels like she has to sleep elsewhere that isn't her own bed] Then sleep here. [it's as simple as that] Until - however long you want.

[he's so bad at what he wants, though. He never puts his own first - it's always everyone else's, and at least in this case his own line up with Raven's. He just wants to be with her, in any way he can, whether it's walking around or somewhere private or - he doesn't care, as long as Raven's there. But actually voicing it? Putting it to words? It isn't as easy.

He does duck his head after they share another kiss, that's a habit he'll never grow out of, and his fingers flex against the skin of her back in lieu of a pair of glasses to nervously fiddle with. He practically forces himself to speak, though, a sign that even that has changed in some way - even if he can't quite keep his tone even] I - just want you too. So - anywhere. We can go anywhere.

[and then, because he doesn't feel like it's enough and his mind is suddenly spinning, he blurts out] I could take you on a proper date. We never did that.

[ 'However long she wants' might end up being forever and Raven is pretty certain that Hank knows that. He wouldn't make the offer if he wasn't comfortable with it - and she's had far better times on this bed in his lab than she's had on the Caprine so far. That has more to do with the company than the bed itself, though, and she softens a little as she nods, once. ] I'll hold you to that.

[ And she means it too. What's more important right now, however, is deciding how they want to proceed. Both of them are nervous about saying what they want from each other, but proximity and time will make it easier - and she knows that. They need to get used to being around each other without the background of warfare and confusion, and it's going to take time. This is a start, though - it's a really good start.

All she does when Hank ducks down is wrap her arms around his neck, allowing him the moment of uncertainty; his hands move against the skin of her back and she closes her eyes, letting herself enjoy the nervous tick before she moves her hand to his chin, tilting it up and stroking her thumb against his lip gently. ] I don't care where we go as long as you're there. That's what's important - that we're together. That we can do this - everything - together.

[ If it means finding a private room and fumbling into something more serious, if it means going and playing games on another ship or running around in masks on the planet below - she doesn't care, because Hank will be with her. His next words make her pause, though, her eyes widening as she leans back to look at him properly, knowing her cheeks would be flaring if she wasn't blue. ]

A proper date - like boyfriends and girlfriends do?

[ She's never been a girlfriend before, and the prickle of delight she feels makes her face light up. ]

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