driftfleet | Let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya

Who's Finn?

[ there's always that knee-jerk pump of insecurity every time she mentions someone new, especially a man someone. he knows she loves him, now better than ever, and he trusts her - with his heart and his life. but that fear that he isn't good enough, isn't man enough, is not one he can just shake off. he keeps his voice casual, the touch of his hand may betray a little more. ]

He's from the world with all the jedi. Nice guy. You'd like him. I was at his birthday party not long ago. A little pink horse invited me. Life is interesting. [She can feel his insecurities leaking through and she wished she knew how to better reassure him. She's not just going to skip to any guy with a rhyming name who grew up without parents. She wants the original.]

Oh yeah I met the little pink horse - unless, there's more than one little pink horse - the one I met is called Pinkie Pie? Apparently there's also one named Cheese Sandwich who can make pizza if we get 'm some cheese. And that will never stop being the weirdest thing I've ever said in my life - [ shaking his head. where was he? oh yeah! ] She says she can bake, and that I can have some. I promised Wrath I'd bring some of what she makes me over and we can have a movie night, I'm almost done with the projector. I was gonna ask you when I was done but since I'm talking about it now...wanna have movie night with us?

[ she called it the first time they talked: he talks a lot when he's nervous. ]

How do you know it isn't at trick? Maybe he just wants to make cheese sandwiches for himself. It's right there in the name. [She gently strokes her thumb over his hand. She can feel his nervousness. She hopes he feels her love.]

Movie night sounds good. Are things going well with Wrath? [He seemed kind of quiet and flustered when the three of them were together.]

I'm more worried about horse ending up in my pizza -

[ he does feel it, and it helps. ]

Yeah, yeah I think so. I think we found our groove. [ when they talk about the here and now and not her world - she's not terrifying anymore. she's actually a lot of fun. and...they have more in common than he initially thought. it seems like they both don't really see the value in themselves beyond their work. there's sadness there, but also a sense of kinship. he knows the things he disagrees with are far from gone, but things suck hard enough without forcing issues that aren't coming up on their own into their lives. ]

Like human in your pizza is better? [What a terrible way of phrasing all of this.]

I'm glad. I think I'm getting to understand her better too. She has a way of keeping a person off balance. [Not in a bad way, but she didn't know what to expect from her or how sincere she was being. And sincerity is important to Kitty. She doesn't like being lied to or manipulated. Not that anyone likes those things but she's especially on guard after Piotr.]

Let's just go with veggie pizza to be safe -

[ why are you ruining pizza, kitty, what has he ever done to you? ]

She does but...she's also really sweet.

[ the talk they had at the medbay actually went a long way to boost his self esteem - there's just something about being told that he's good, and worthwhile, and tough by someone so blunt who has absolutely no stake in complimenting him unnecessarily because what is he to her, really?

his grip on her hand tightens a little bit as those feelings go through. I'll never do that to you, is the sentiment he focuses on. he knows it's not about him - not this time - but he can't control the actions of anyone else but himself. ]

[You started it!]

Hey, I know you wouldn't. Even when you hold things back I know it's not me. [Sometimes it feels like her though even if she knows logically it isn't. She's worried he doesn't trust her enough to tell her the things on his mind. And worried that she's given him reasons for that by saying stupid, thoughtless things around him. By teasing him or flirting with people without intentions.]

[ it's not that he doesn't trust her - he trusts her fully. it's that sometimes, he doesn't like himself much. and he wants to be better for her, he wants to impress her, wants to be someone who's worthy of her. and sometimes...sometimes talking is just too painful. ]

Here we are -

[ he opens the door to the inn and kisses the top of her head. smiling at the owner, he gives them a little nod and leads her back to their room. ]

Hang on - close your eyes for a sec - [ he'll quickly light a pair of candles on the little dinner table he had set up for them in the room, and then lead her inside and shut the door behind them. ]

Ok, open.

[It's all so very low tech here which isn't normally her first choice, but it's not exactly unfamiliar to her either. The X-Men managed some nice set ups, but they had to work to get energy flowing to them and to get it set up. There was plenty of roughing it in between. And this? Well, it doesn't look so rough. It looks kind of great. Especially with her guy standing there.]

Winn...

I love it. I love you.

[ he smiles so brightly at her reaction, both the one she's showing and the one he can feel by holding her hand, that it wouldn't be unreasonable to wonder if he could still light up the room if they lost their fire. ]

I love you too, Kitty. Here - [ he pulls the chair out for her ] have a seat.

[She smiles a little. What are you even doing? But it's sweet and she takes the seat.] Thanks. This is all amazing.

[ he never got to take her on a proper date, he's excited, ok! he leans in for a loving kiss, before taking the seat in front of her. ]

Well you know, we don't get a planet like this every day, gotta enjoy it while we got it.

[ he uncaps their plates - to reveal simple but homey food, and he reaches across the table for her hand. ]

When I first woke up on the Marsiva I was terrified, and you made me laugh. [ with silly name puns, no less. just his brand of humor. ] You're the first person I talked to on the fleet who wasn't Kara, and I couldn't have picked anyone better.

[ he doesn't even care that he's being sappy as hell right now, it's all true. he thought he was in love with kara but his feelings for kitty are making him doubt that. maybe what it was was...extreme gratitude and proximity - she was the only girl in his world. what he feels for kitty...he's never experienced such an intensity before. ]

This is my thank you, for everything you do for me. [ for the way she cares, the way she makes him laugh, the way she goes along with his nonsense instead of making fun of him, the way she respects his fears (even a little too much sometimes), the way she boosts his confidence, the way she helps him with his projects, the way she reassures him when even he knows he's being unreasonably jealous instead of getting angry or frustrated with him, and the list can go on and on for days. every little thing she does for him feels like she moved heaven and earth. ]

[The words are pretty overwhelming on their own but feeling everything he is along with it? How is she supposed to handle that? How can someone love her this much when part of her (to be fair a smaller part than Winn) doesn't believe she deserves it?

She squeezes his hand and closes her eyes, but tears still slip through her eyelashes. At least with the connection he can feel it's just from being overwhelmed and happy. Good tears. Which is so rare for her. Has she ever?]

I'm really glad I called you that day. [She never imagined any of this coming from it. Not for a second. But it's hard to imagine being in the fleet and not having him with her. She hopes she never has to find out what that's like again.]

[ he reaches his free hand to gently wipe her tears, echoing the sentiment - he's so glad she called, so glad she came to visit, so glad they decided to work on plato together, so glad for every step that led them here. and so afraid of the possibility of having to face a single day here without her - not just for his sake (though it would be a nightmare) but for hers. he sucks in a quick sniffle and stubbornly changes his train of thought to just how beautiful she looks tonight because if he thinks of what might happen to her, where she might be taken to...he may fall apart. he's always on the brink of it. ]

Me too.

You did make the dress. [She leans into his hand even as she gives his mental compliment more back to him than taking it for herself.]

The dress isn't what's beautiful. Though - it is pretty good, isn't it?

[ he didn't think he'd take to making regular clothes this well, he hasn't really worked on non-costume things since his days helping his mom mend. it's good to have something to fall back on for when ms. grant gets sick of his terrible excuses for kara and fires him. ]

You do good work. No matter what you're doing. [She doesn't believe in a world where he loses one job and can't get another one in tech.

Also, she's not the only one at this table who thinks her partner is beautiful.]

[ depends on how badly he pisses ms. grant off - the woman is scary, connected, and scary connected.

oh. oh, you get a majorly flustered smile at those feelings there, kitty, and some squirming in his seat. he knows she's attracted to him, but again there's a difference between knowing and feeling and - he really should've cleaned up sooner. ]

I'm highly motivated. [ he loves tech, and he loves kitty. the pretty dresses make her happy therefore - he'll be a seamstress until they get to a planet with a mall. ]

[She smiles when she feels him get flustered.] It's not just because you dressed up. [She always feels this about him and the better she gets to know him the more she sees it. But that very first call? It was definitely to "the nervous, cute guy."

And her dressing up is very much Winn-inspired. She might have stayed content enough in the jumpsuits otherwise.]

[ cute he knows he is, but cute usually gets him friendzoned. it's the hot part that flusters him in the best of ways. ]

If I'm perfectly honest - which, I guess I am or I am in this place - I'm not that dressed up. This is kinda how I had to dress for work.

[ he usually topped it off with a cardigan, but the weather's pretty great on this planet plus - it would mess with his intense desire to set himself apart from reid. ]

So, in National City I'll get to see you like this a lot, huh? [Trying that out. Seeing how it feels to talk about it like the future even if she doesn't feel it. She doesn't have a lot of hope anymore for breaking free from the Atroma or whatever overlords grab her next. But it is a nice thought. Strange maybe. Another land she doesn't belong in but now she's one of the only ones who doesn't belong. Something Kara already went through or still goes through.

Okay, maybe not such a cheerful thing if he can feel her worries too. She was mostly trying to steer her thoughts away from Reid when she felt hers go there. She doesn't want to add more fuel to that fire.]

Most days.

[ he has to believe they'll break free, has to believe they'll make it, or he'll never be able to get up in the morning, or any time of the day. so his faith is steadfast - they managed to restore kara's powers. now that supergirl's back to full power and by their side defeating the atroma's only a matter of time.

but the other fear, that one he's more open to. he was born there, and he isn't sure he belongs there himself. the sad truth is that in so many ways, he feels like he belongs in the fleet a lot more than he ever did in national city. national city won't have his big brother - and that's a thought that does choke him up and he tries to refocus. he's with kitty, and this is going to be a good day if it kills him. it shouldn't be that hard - it wouldn't be if he weren't so messed up. ]

Back home I've got bow ties, too.

Bow ties? What have I gotten myself into? [Trying to smooth out her train of thought too.] The food looks good. [We should eat it with both hands.]

Very nerdy trouble.

[ he smiles and retracts his hands. good thought - and good save. they can't keep spiraling each other if they're not sending out these depressing vibes. ]

I'd say I hope you like it but - after what we've been eating it's pretty much guaranteed.

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