driftfleet | (no subject)

Way better than I thought she would.

That's good. It's bad enough having the bruising without yelling too.

She doesn't usually yell at me. Which...just makes it worse when it does happen.

[ he shakes his head. he really hates it when kitty yells. they fight so rarely, making every fight feel so...major. ]

[He smiles.] What's that like? [Kara doesn't mind yelling. But in all seriousness...] What kinds of things has it happened over before?

Misunderstandings...or when she's worried about me. [ he catches that, though. and while he tries to stay out of their relationship as a general rule, he can't not try for some reassurance. ]

Both of us are really scared about losing each other, we're not from the same world and we've had a lot of heartbreaks, so sometimes it means we sit on our feelings and don't fight when maybe we should.

[ nothing is perfect. the best you can hope for is a balance. ]

I mean if you're going to fight over something being worried or just being confused isn't a bad way to go.

[He realizes Winn means for that to be a comfort for him and he can't help but smile a little even if the actual words make him want to give Winn a hug. He won't since Winn is flying a shuttle and all, but he would.]

Maybe you should let it out a little more then. I think you're both tight enough that it wouldn't break you apart.

I know we are. [ he nods ] But it's just...she's been through so much that the thought of hurting her, even accidentally, even a little, just makes me feel like a monster.

She probably feels the same about you. And that's great unless it means bad things are going to build up and be harder to deal with when they finally come out.

I don't think there are any bad things between me and Kitty. I got really lucky that way...

[ he smiles just thinking about her. ]

And she's really stubborn about getting me to talk to her so not that much is held back, anyway. Just...scaled back, I guess?

Well, scaled back doesn't sound so bad. Giving the other person the benefit of a doubt. Thinking with caring about them first. Maybe you've figured something out.

I definitely did, cuz I've never been happier.

[He gives Winn's shoulder a light squeeze. Who knows where the bruises are under that shirt.] You deserve it. And if anyone can figure out a way to get Kitty back to National City, it's you.

[ not there, fortunately, and he spares mon-el a quick smile. ]

You know it. [ he's getting her back if it kills him. ]

[Mon-El will do whatever he can to make sure it doesn't come to the dying part.]

So, why didn't you ask her to go with you for the ammo run?

She's all for me learning to defend myself, but less into the reminders that I have a dangerous job now.

[ plus, while mon-el has powers he feels more on equal footing with him just by virtue of his attitude. and - he doesn't like the idea of leading kitty into danger. she's done enough fighting in her life. ]

Back to that worrying thing. So, does that mean all of this is a secret?

No I just...prefer to go with you. That's okay, right? I can, take you back otherwise, and ask someone else -

Hey, I am happy to go. I just wanted to make sure I didn't mess anything up if I ran into her. The more hanging out time the better.

I try not to do the secret thing with her. Or with anyone, I hate secrets.

[ keeping guardian a secret again is hard enough, he doesn't need any more. ]

All they do is make me anxious, and they always end up blowing up in your face.

Um...yeah. I've been told they do that a lot here especially. Like those rumors that came out. [Thinking of the break he and Kara were on because of the Natasha secret which he'd really never meant as a secret, and yet that's how it felt to Kara. But there is a real secret that he can't quite let go of.

Yeah - or compulsion glitches, those are great. [ dripping with sarcasm ] No better way to reveal a secret you're nervous about than compulsively blurt it out to anyone you come across.

Did that happen to you?

Yeah, and it sucked. Take my word for it - if you have any secrets, tell Kara before the Atroma do it for you.

Is that what you've done? [He's glad Winn has flying to focus on instead of his face because it is probably saying too much.]

Nope, but I'm a coward. Don't be me.

[ actually, he still hasn't told kara. ]