[ video ]

[ananym]

[ there's a pretty vampire, looking into the camera curiously before speaking. ]

I have been meaning to ask. Is there anything that you have learned here that has changed your lives?

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[ananym]

I do not think I've ever led a boring life.

[ trevor and sypha certainly haven't. alucard knows of a normal life vaguely through his mother, but it has never been his experience. ]

But there must be something to it.

[abracafcku]

Yeah, the whole not nearly dying on the reg thing.

Most people don't want an exciting life. They might dream about it, whinge about not having it, but given the opportunity? They'll stay where it's safe and leave the scary spooky shit to the rest of us.

[ananym]

Perhaps.

[ but he thinks about how dracula tried to lead a normal life and how badly it backfired. ]

But I cannot fault them for doing so. It is not an easy thing, to be brave.

[abracafcku]

Pfft, for me it ain't about being brave. There's a shitload lot more money to be made in adventuring than anything else. Ch'boy's not nobility, so any cash I'm gonna make, I gotta work for it.

[He had a lucrative career as a chef before but...well, no one wants him to cook for them anymore. At least until coming here.]

What about you, pretty boy? What's a vampire gotta do to make some moolah?

[ananym]

Ah.

[ there's a vague air of amusement. ]

Most vampires tend to be of royalty, due to their age. I lived in a castle.

[abracafcku]

Fuuuucking called it!

[Taako rolls his eyes and drops his chin in his hand.]

No wonder you don't know about people watching. Not a shitload of people milling around in a castle just waiting to be observed. Plus did you have like? Human help? Or was it all, I dunno, ghouls or some shit.

[ananym]

[ he shakes his head. ]

The castle was magic. It could travel and take care of itself.

[abracafcku]

[...Diiiiid not see that one coming.]

Is just, like, everything about your life just weird or what?

[ananym]

You base yourself on a piece of paper. Do you really have any room to talk?

[abracafcku]

It's certification, my dude, not my base. Do you not like, get certified in your world? Universities? Shit like that?

[ananym]

There are cathedral schools and so on.

And ultimately, it still sounds like a piece of paper.

[abracafcku]

Ugh, temple schools - gross.

[He knows what those things are like - stuffy, dogmatic, a total buzzkill. Nooo thank you.]

And it ultimately still sounds like you have no idea how to appreciate the ethereal beauty of an elf.

But also? Temple schools are gross. Blegh.

[ananym]

I would not know. I've never went to one.

[ and alucard's training far exceeds any school. dracula after all, was the greatest repository of knowledge. ]

[abracafcku]

Count yourself lucky. I snuck into one once thinking I could scam a few things off the priest and I nearly died from boredom.

[ananym]

[ he smiles. ]

Oh, I know I'm quite fortunate in that area.

[abracafcku]

'Cause you stayed in a magical castle with potentially demonic servants that probably catered to your every desire? Yup, definitely fortunate.

[ananym]

[ that's hard to deny. ]

I would not say it is quite so luxurious.

[abracafcku]

[In a complete deadpan]

If you've never had to eat out of a garbage can so you don't starve to death, it was pretty luxurious.

[And back to the usual teasing lilt]

Not that you'd have to eat. More like drink, right? Do you eat regular food? Akeldama can, but it's like a party trick to him, not real sustenance.

[ananym]

I can, though I do need to feed from time to time.

[ he can manage long periods of it, especially if he's resting for years at a time. ]

I am half-human after all.

[abracafcku]

So...what're you doing about that here? You got someone who's willing to hook themselves up to be a blood bank for that pretty face?

[ananym]

I have not asked yet.

[ which is bad but. ]

I will get to it when the thirst is stronger.

[abracafcku]

...UH isn't that bad? To wait until it's stronger? People don't exactly think clearly when they're hungry, my dude.

[ananym]

It is unlikely I will lose control.

[ after all, when has alucard lost control. ]

And I rather not put pressure on the Fleet just yet.

[abracafcku]

[Unlikely doesn't mean "won't" and that slim chance is enough that it sets Taako's paranoid survival instinct into hyperdrive.]

Don't they give you like- the Atroma? Don't they give you something else you can use in place of eating people? Because that seems like a super oversight on their part if not.

[ananym]

[ alucard raises an eyebrow. ]

I've never been hit with such an urge before. Nor have I ever "eaten" anyone.