[ one year anniversary ]

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Video
Action: SS First Breath
When: Today! It's a special day!

( video broadcast )

[ the feed splutters before turning on. loki is surrounded by a whole bunch of boxes. boxes as far as the eye can see. loki has started opening them while the speakers blast this song loud and clear. loki, for his part merely huffs. ]

It seems I have spent a total of a year in this place and the, ah, viewers wish to celebrate. However most of this is useless to me, so I welcome anyone else taking them into their hands.

[ which, ngl, he's into. but the gifts loki has are just . . . baffling. he holds each one up to the camera. we have the mighty thor scooter, captain chickmerica, loki on hotwheels, a masterpiece, plastic horns, disturbing panties and something for "sophisticated men" ]

Please feel free to come by to the First Breath to pick them up.

Also, this has reminded me. Since we are essentially living by this . . . awkward mortal calendar, I have decided I want a birthday. You lot should help me pick one.

[ and get him presents. this is essentially a ploy for presents. ]

Comments

[brooklyn_boy]

[The skeptical look on his face defies explaination. Trickster god won't get him that easy.]

I'm sure.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he smirks. ]

Are you now? Perhaps you need a description. Maybe some pictures to go along with it.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Steve turns into Captain Tomato.]

Stop it. I'm not stupid. Experience or no experience, I know what parts people have and don't have.

[dothelokimotion]

That seems debatable, considering your reaction. If you know that much, I fail to see the shame in it.

[brooklyn_boy]

Wait ...

Guys really can us it?

[If he falls for a prank that quickly he's gonna hate himself. But Loki seems genuine.]

[dothelokimotion]

Of course. It only needs to be applied in the right areas.

[brooklyn_boy]

Areas?

[Steve knows of the one. The one blatantly obvious one. Did Loki...have more than one?]

Isn't it the wrong....shape? For that?

[dothelokimotion]

Steve.

I am not going to teach you how vibrators work.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Captain Tomato evolves into Captain Blood-Red.]

I'm not asking you to! This is.... Never*mind*.

Go back to the chicken.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki picks up the chicken, dangling it. ]

An excellent stuffed toy to vent frustrations on.

[brooklyn_boy]

Stop broadcasting that. It's embarrassing. Just get rid of it. Or...magic it into Thor.

[Loki would probably enjoy another thing to tease him about.]

[dothelokimotion]

Oh, but I already have the perfect Thor toy.

[ he holds up the scooter. he's an equal opportunity teaser anyway. ]

[brooklyn_boy]

[Steve laughs at it, starting to go back to normal color.] He can race your Loki-mobile.

[dothelokimotion]

I'm afraid it is not much of a contest. As I have four wheels and he has two.

[brooklyn_boy]

As someone who drives a motorcycle himself, don't be so sure about that.

[dothelokimotion]

And here I thought you ran around aimlessly, looking for villains to fight.

[brooklyn_boy]

They're usually the ones who find me.

[dothelokimotion]

I highly doubt that. You have all the instincts of a lemming seeking danger.

[brooklyn_boy]

That's rude.

[But true.]

Lemmings actually don't go jumping off cliffs, actually. It's a misconception that some documentaries put out. Disney actuall- [No one cares, Steve. You're the only one who uses Netflix for their educational shows.]

Nevermind. Stop comparing me to animals.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki shrugs. ]

I will when they stop being accurate.

[brooklyn_boy]

So I guess I should compare you to a ram with the horns? I mean. Same temper too, now that I think about it...

[dothelokimotion]

Rams, at least, are not ineffectual by nature. As comparisons go, it is not terrible.

[brooklyn_boy]

Big talk coming from the person who was beat by me.

[Steve raises his eyebrows and leans toward the screen.]

What is up with the horns, anyways? You go running around ramming people?

[dothelokimotion]

[ uh what. ]

I beat you. And then purposefully gave up when Stark arrived, remember? If you think victory in New York came from you, you're sorely mistaken.

And they're part of our aesthetic.

[brooklyn_boy]

Yeah. But I woulda beaten you. I had a plan.

[Steve enjoys the reaction that got though.]

Thor doesn't have horns.