When We're Rollin Through the Wild Wild West

[geonomy]

Who: Everyone! EVERYONE!
Broadcast: IF YOU WANNA
Action: Everywhere! EVERYWHERE!
When: Mid-September - Mid-October

[How's your ship doing, pardners? Is it still pretty damaged? Is it glitching out hardcore? Well, there is one place to land to take care of all that, and that's on a dusty old moon in front of a planet that no one wants to go to. On this moon, you'll find a civilization that looks a lot like one's stepped into a wild west movie, hardened cowpolk and mutant horses and all. Will you become a vigilante, hunting bounties and stopping gangs from doing their dirty work? Will you go exploring planetside, with a cowboy hat and a stalk of wheat in your mouth to complete the look? Good luck with that; there is no wheat. This town ain't big enough for all you flooters, but make it so! For the ratings!

In other words, it's a planet mingle! Get 'er done!]

[September Planet info here]

Comments

[huaaaaagh]

You weren't weird. If someone told me that my world wasn't real, I'd be bothered by it, too.

[experiencepoints]

... I guess so. Thanks.

I'm Nightingale, by the way.

[huaaaaagh]

Kirito. It's nice to meet you.

[Phew. Feathers mostly de-ruffled, that's a relief. Now he just has to keep from doing that again.]

Do you want a ride somewhere? I think this horse is sturdy enough for two, and it's getting pretty hot out here.

[experiencepoints]

It's okay. I, um.

[She looks kind of embarrassed.]

I don't really know how to ride those.

[huaaaaagh]

Aha... well, it's not so difficult as a passenger. You just sit down and hold on until the ride's done.

[He's kind of clumsy with it, admittedly, but it's not especially complex. A few basic commands, and the horses are trained enough and used to being ridden.]

[experiencepoints]

... I'll try, just don't let me fall.

[That said, she's going to look for how to even get up on the thing, because she is tiny.]

[huaaaaagh]

I'll do my best.

[He is making zero promises. He does recognize her plight, though, and removes one foot from the stirrup to give her something to step into, offering his hand out for a boost up. Two tiny people on a zebrahorse, surely this'll go great.]

[experiencepoints]

[Fortunately, she's 5'1, so yeah, super-tiny. Easy enough to get her up there, though now she's really, really wishing she had clothes that didn't involve short skirts. Still, only other person around is another girl, so...]

Let's go, then.

[huaaaaagh]

[Kirito's not much bigger in this body, so hey, at least she's in good company.

He catches sight of the skirt riding up a bit as she sits - briefly, before he hastily turns to face forward again, cheeks pink - and switches his hand back to the reins.]

Okay, hold on tight.

[He gives the horse's sides a light kick, starting it off at a trot so she can get used to the ride. Easier to talk with someone at that pace, too.]

[experiencepoints]

[Unfortunately, Nightingale will be taking note of those pink cheeks...]

Are you okay?

[huaaaaagh]

[Ack, crap. Being caught just makes him even more embarrassed.]

Y-yeah, I'm fine. Like I said, it's... hot.

[It's not like he saw anything! He's just. Aware. He'd been in a similar situation with Asuna once, too... how does this stuff happen to him?]

[experiencepoints]

Yeah, it's like the one time this uniform is useful.

[Yeah, a purple magical girl dress with a cape? It's a uniform. Really.

Also, sorry, Kirito, but she's gay. Though maybe that would make SAO better, if Kirito's harem just went off with each other.]

[huaaaaagh]

[that would absolutely make it better, since he only actually wants one of them anyway

As uncomfortable as her short dress is likely to make him, he'll give her that.]

And here I am dressed all in black... I really didn't think before going out into the desert, did I.

[experiencepoints]

[I 100% support this AU.]

Yeah, I... was kind of wondering about that.

[huaaaaagh]

[SAME]

Ah... I didn't really have anything to change into, so...

[Truth is, he isn't sure how changing clothes works on avatars outside of a game, so he hasn't tried yet. He's worried about losing the armor somehow by de-equipping it.]

[experiencepoints]

I have a couple of spare uniforms. Want me to lend you one?

[The minidress, she means.]

[huaaaaagh]

[NOPE NOP NOPE NOPE Kirito can already envision the disaster that would cause. He's already been in two situations involving a girl, a misunderstanding, and someone's underwear. He has zero desire to get slapped for something that isn't even his fault.]

N-no, no, that's- that's okay! I'm getting used to it. Besides, your clothes might not be the right fighting class for me.

[experiencepoints]

They're clothes, they're not class-dependent... But okay.

[huaaaaagh]

Well, it might depend on the type of clothing it is? Different kinds are good for different fighting style. The outfit I have now is armored for melee and it's light enough that it won't hinder my AGL stat.

[experiencepoints]

Yeah, I get that.

[The names of the stats are different, but the concept is the same, she understands.]

But that's equipment, these are clothes.

[huaaaaagh]

Where I'm from, the clothes affect stats just as much as the equipment. Is it different in your world?

[experiencepoints]

I mean... You can go into battle with them so you're not naked, but clothes' stats are all zero. There might be an exception I don't know about, but...

[huaaaaagh]

Huh. What about armor? Can you boost your defense with that?

[He's trying to get a feel for what kind of style her game-esque world might be without, you know, asking her genre or something.]

[experiencepoints]

[SNES might have been before your time, Kirito.]

Well... Obviously? I mean, I equip robes. Warriors and tank classes go for the heavy armor, and archers and physical fighters use the chain or leather.

[huaaaaagh]

[He vaguely recognizes the name as a big deal in video game history.]

Oh, got it- so that's what you meant by equipment versus just clothes. I guess it's similar in my world, then.