driftfleet | may mingle (blameless!)

[that's . . . complicated, and he isn't sure what he can say that isn't crossing into business he shouldn't get involved in. Even if he's already involved in some fashion, regardless of how he denies it]

It isn't stupid. I understand why you're upset. [he sighs, his free hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck] But - it'll settle. The more you two talk and - work things out.

[he hopes that's the case. Saying Charles was "happy" was a little too general; he was happy with Erik, happy they had been getting the school going, but - it wasn't as if things from their past didn't linger in the shadows, either - from the other places, and from home.

He can't help but snort, though, and the wry smile returns]

I don't think I can comment on that. That happened before I got there. [and long before he remembered their history]

[ Raven knows it's far more complicated than she's making it out to be and that's half the problem. If it was simple, if it was easy, then she wouldn't have to sit in turmoil thinking about how she feels about it, wondering what she is allowed to say to Charles and what she isn't. Even now she feels like she ought to hold her tongue sitting beside Hank, the knowledge that he was there and present when she wasn't burning int he back of her mind.

She shifts away a little, almost without thinking, if only because she feels as though she's asking too much all over again. ]

It's going to take time. [ Which is the simplest way to put things, she imagines, even if it comes out a little harsh and bitter. ] And it's not as if we're going anywhere. Not for a while, anyway, since whoever is in charge wants to make our lives into some sort of stupid drama. [ As if it wasn't dramatic enough already at home?

Shifting a little, Raven considers before she speaks, voice quiet and uncertain. ]

I missed him, but he's not the Charles I missed. I keep forgetting but it's better and worse at the same time. I know I'll get used to it, but it's hard.

[he can't help but huff a little at the mention of their lives being some entertainment for people watching. That, that's what angers him the most about this place, that any sense of privacy is a farce, no matter the extents to which he tries] You have the time, at least. Which - really, is the only good thing this place affords us. I can do without the - reality drama and that nonsense.

[he watches her shift away, but he doesn't move his hand. He doesn't move closer either, but - all of this, he reminds himself, is on her terms. He isn't going to push.

His expression gentles and he squeezes her knee, because . . . even having gone through a lot of what Charles did, he was still different from the man in Hank's memories, even before Hank arrived] I know. But - even without those places, Raven . . . he was already different. With - everything that was going on, you only saw pieces of that.

[ It's not fair, she thinks, that Hank is right. It's not fair that he knows what he's talking about because he was with Charles for the ten years she wasn't, when she was out fighting and living and devoting her existence to the mutant cause. She had lived such violence in the years that they were apart that she wonders if Charles and Hank even recognise her, or if they just see her as someone changed and different, reshaped into a mould that Erik had created. She doesn't want to believe that's what she is, but she remembers what she's seen and what she's done.

They have no idea what's happened to her, not really, and she's glad for that.

Breathing out, sharp and almost on the brink of irritated and annoyed, Raven nods. ] I wonder how long we'll be stuck here waiting to go back. It could be worse. I could be here by myself.

[ That's her own, Raven-esque way of telling him he's glad he's here without actually putting it into words, without expressing what she really wants to say. She feels like she's too open, too raw, and she frowns as the looks over at the other side of the room, not really able to look at him without feeling shame and frustration at the distance of time between them. They'd had beautiful, tender moments but that didn't mean everything was fixed and broken hearts were mended; that isn't how life worked.

Swallowing, she closes her eyes and tilts her head back. ]

I know. I left and I left him behind. [ It's something she thought about nearly every day. She left him behind and she fled and Charles suffered ten years of pain and isolation and a wheelchair and then the war broke out and he lost more and more until he had nothing left. But she had lost things too, so many things, the kind of things she couldn't tell Hank or Charles about until she was ready, and it's all seeping out of the broken pieces of her bleeding heart. ] I know.

I wish I could say. I know people are working on figuring out ways to get home, at least. [a brief smile] And that's true. But you're not.

[but - that isn't what he was trying to say. He wasn't trying to bring up old guilts, old pains or anything like that - he just wanted to state a fact. He makes a faint, frustration noise and shifts closer, bold in the way he grabs her hand and holds it in both of his. Hoping that his gestures make up for the words he might not be able to get across to her]

It wasn't just you. [he isn't going to lie and say Raven's departure hadn't left it's mark; it had, and even now that was still a topic neither he nor Charles discussed often, if at all. Erik leaving had left it's mark too, a different one but just as painful. But the world was changing, and it took away the one thing Charles still had to hold onto. "There's no professor here" is what he had told Logan when he'd arrived. By that time, Hank hadn't called Charles that in years] Everyone left, for one reason or another. There was the school, and then - one day, there wasn't. He's coming back from that.

Who knows how long that's going to take? [ Raven shakes her head, huffing a little noise. ] I haven't met any of the other new mutants, not really. One came to find me, though.

[ But they're getting off-topic, aren't they? She didn't come here to talk about something casual; she came here to unload, no matter how cruel it might be. Hank didn't seem to mind too much and - he moved closer, reaching to take her hand and hold it and she softens, as if the touch brings her back to herself and away from the rest of the world. She blinks as she turns her head to look at him, her attention focussed before she frowns. ]

I saved them, you know. [ Maybe he doesn't know; how would he? It was hardly public knowledge. ] The mutants being used in Vietnam, with Alex - Havok. There was more of them and the army was just using them, throwing them out to die like they were just weapons, so I made them stop. [ She's proud of herself for that, bristling a little before she leans back, settling down. ] You know why I couldn't come back, don't you? Even when they were murdered - Angel, Emma, Banshee and Azazel and Janos... I couldn't come back.

[ Her voice is a quiet whisper, now. ]

It wasn't safe, for me or for you.

Edited 2016-05-15 00:04 (UTC)

—who came to find you?

[he doesn't sound panicked, but he sure feels it. If only because he's aware of where Mystique stands in other worlds, and he's spoken to the one here more than once. And - there is, of course, the whole thing with the Kurts, which he - doesn't want to talk about. He told Kitty he would tell her but he can't. Not right now, anyway. Not when they're discussing something already incredibly difficult.

He didn't know about Vietnam, though, and it immediately shows on his face, in the way he unconsciously squeezes her hand. They hadn't heard from him, and - of course. Of course the military was using them. He sucks in a deep breath] I - didn't know. We haven't - spoken to Alex since he left. [he lessens his hold on her hand, briefly, before he tightens it again] I'm glad you saved them.

[and then . . . that. Hank had been the first to remember Erik and Charles' argument on the plane, and what Erik had revealed. It still hurt, knowing Angel and Sean both had been - killed, murdered, made to suffer when they didn't deserve it. Even the other two - none of them had deserved it. He has to look away, but he forces himself not to pull his hand back]

I know. [just as quietly. He shuts his eyes and lets out a breath] I know.

Shadowcat.

[ Obviously, Raven wasn't too worried about Kitty; not just because the other girl had been nice but because she was almost sure she could take her in a fight if she needed to and get out with a few more bruises but nothing life-threatening. She's careful to watch Hank's reaction, though - it was him that warned her about there being other mutants, after all, and she wants to make sure that she has nothing to worry about... Other than the girl telling her she can be blue all the time, as if it was that easy.

Slowly, Raven's hand turns in his so that her fingers can slide through the gaps in Hank's, her voice coming out quiet. ] Someone had to. Erik was in prison and - [ And Charles was suffering, locked in his mansion behind his walls, safe and sound. She is a little bitter about it, but she's starting to understand, starting to see more than her own one dimensional view of the situation. Charles had been hurting, and Charles hurting meant a kind of suffering that burrows down deep inside until he can't fathom anything else; she should know, she'd seen it before.

It takes a few moments, a handful of seconds that pass by sharply, but Raven shifts and manages to make her way back so she can lean her shoulder against Hank's, uncertain but wanting all at once. She needs the comfort, especially when they're talking about something that hurts so much. ]

I found some of their autopsies, too. But we don't - we shouldn't talk about that. [ Raven grits her teeth, hard enough for it to feel like it aches. ] We're here, together. We shouldn't - I shouldn't -

[ She cuts herself off; she doesn't even know what she was going to say. ]

[his brows furrow in confusion for a moment]

Oh - Kitty. [she wastes no time, does she. He smiles a little lopsidedly] She's a friend. [he sees the look on Raven's face and makes sure to confirm that it's okay] She's from a - timeline very, very different from ours. [he leaves it at that, inviting Raven to tell him whatever Kitty told her about - all that. He briefly wonders if she mentioned their Hank McCoy.

But he understands, and as Raven slips her fingers between his, he closes his own around them, tightly] I know. I'm not - glad you had to do it, or that it was happening in the first place, but - I'm glad it was you who saved them.

[as Raven shifts closer he shifts with her, raising his arm to put it around her. To gently draw her even closer to give her the comfort she seeks. Erik had said nothing about how they had found out, and - he doesn't know if Erik knew or not, so the anger that starts to rise in the back of his throat is forcefully pushed down]

I'll listen. [he finally says, after a moment too long of silence. Rough and quiet]

Kitty. [ That was her name. Still, old habits die hard and codenames had become natural to Raven; that's why she was Mystique, Sean was Banshee, Janos was Riptide. It was easier, but some people slipped through the cracks - Hank would never really be Beast and Erik would never really be Magneto, even if that's what the rest of the world called them. It's just how it worked when you were too close to someone and she knows it now in a way she hadn't when she was so much younger and playing around with her powers at tha CIA. ]

She told me. It sounds - bad. [ Which is an understatement, but Raven doesn't want to talk about it. She doesn't want to talk about a world where Charles is dead and some other version of herself doesn't seem too concerned about it, being an "ally" and nothing else. She's Charles' sister and even with the distance between them she knows that she would mourn him for the rest of her life, would cry and break and practically lose her mind if he was taken from her, if someone dared to try and kill him.

Hank's arm around her brings her away from the morose thoughts and she tilts her head up, watching him for a moment before she swallows. He says he'll listen and, really, she thinks she needs to tell someone. There was only her and Erik that knew the truth, that knew what the Government had done to their kind, their Brotherhood, and she has to get it off her chest. She had seen too much, suffered too much, and she had borne it on her own shoulders because she had to, with no one else to turn to. ]

Azazel and Angel were killed in a firefight not long after we left - 1963. It was July, I think. [ Raven's voice is quiet and low, and she speaks almost hoarsely - because it hurts. They were her friends and they were gone. ] They were ambushed while they were asleep and their bodies were taken to Trask. He cut them up and examined them so he could use what he learned to make his machines to kill us.

[ Her voice gets quieter and quieter, more hollow as she continues, the hurt bursting inside of her and dragging her down. ]

Emma was killed as well - I don't know how they snuck up on her. Before I went to Paris I snuck into Trask's office pretending to be him and I found all his files. All of them. They cut off Angel's wing. They had Azazel on a slab - they probably couldn't see anything but his red skin, but they'd have done what you did with me and looked at his genes to try and make machines that could teleport. It would be easy to damn him, right, because he was red and had a tail - as if it mattered, as if having wings or tails or blue skin made us evil or monsters.

[ She breathes out, shaky, and lifts her hand to wipe at her eyes - a single tear slips through, just as it had then. ]

Yeah, it's - bad. [and he's happy to leave it for another day. Because talking about Kitty's world brings the topic of Charles' death, of what another version of him turned into, and - that isn't something he wants to talk about.

But - she talks, and he listens. There's no love lost when it came to Azazel or Emma, but he'd never wanted either of them dead. And Angel . . . they'd all bonded that one night, and when Hank could talk about those days, he always spoke of her too, because she was once with them. She had left like Raven did, for something she believed to be better. He couldn't fault her for that. And Sean - how he had even gotten involved, he had no idea, and he didn't want to ask.

And they had died, for what they were trying to do for mutants, for simply existing, for having the gall to be different despite none of them even having a choice. No one in their world chose to be mutants, they were still human, and -

He can't react. He can feel his anger swelling as Raven goes on, all sorts of emotions he can't settle on, and he has to force it all back down. Mostly, anger that she had to deal with all of this on her own, while he and Charles dealt with their own problems in the mansion, with Erik in prison, and there was Raven, shouldering it all.

He lets out a sharp noise, his arm tightening around her as much as he dares]

I'm sorry. [what can he even say to all of that? What can he offer that isn't just words and comfort?] I'm - I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that on your own. That you lost your friends. [it doesn't feel like enough]

[ Raven appreciates Hank's words because she knows he means them; there's a kind of hollowness that haunts apologies from other people, idle words that don't really mean anything, and they just make the pain worse. So many people didn't care about mutants or their suffering, so many of them didn't give a damn as long as they didn't have to worry about being a part of it, burying their heads in the sand and hiding away, but there were people who did care. People like her, people like Hank, people like Charles. They all cared in different ways, but at least their caring meant something.

More importantly, Hank listens to her. Raven was used to being cut off, spoken over, and being independent for so long had made her so much stronger and far more proud than she had ever been before, and she refused to let herself be spoken down to. The fact that Hank listens, he doesn't try to make her think that she over reacts or goes to far... It soothes a rattled part of her and she breathes out, resting her head on his shoulder and accepting the comfort that he offered because it was there and it was him. She would have to get used to the feeling eventually, but maybe she could revel in the novelty for now.

Still, there are some things she still had to say and she tilts her head up to look at Hank, careful and sure even as she takes a deep breath. ]

Thank you. But - I know I dealt with it alone but it was my choice. I could have come home but I didn't want to, and I didn't feel like I should. [ Maybe she ought to have, maybe she should have come back and helped with Charles and all the grief and pain, but hindsight makes the world far clearer than it was during the experience itself. She knows she would never have been able to go back, even if the idea of it makes her uncomfortable.

For a moment she's quiet, uncertain, but then she tilts her head up to look at Hank with searching eyes. ]

Hank? If I tell you something - do you promise not to hate me?

[he understands that, at least objectively. Would he have rather her came home and dealt with it, with him and Charles so she didn't have to do it on her own? Absolutely. He would have rather learned everything from her, if given the choice. But he understands, and he nods, and it's enough to push his anger down the rest of the way, for now. Until it can explode later, when he isn't worried about overwhelming himself while still trying to be her support]

I - get it, I know. [he winces a little at how it sounds and quickly continues] I mean - I know what it's like to make that choice. Dealing with it on your own and all.

[and she looks at him and - his brows furrow, utterly confused. Why would he hate her? What is all of this all of a sudden? There's a pit in his stomach and he isn't sure why]

I wouldn't hate you. Don't - be ridiculous, you know I could never hate you.

[ This is the difficult part, she thinks - this is the bit that's going to be hard. Along with all the death and the pain there was something good hidden with it all; something she had clung to, and even if she can't tell Hank everything she knows he has the right to know some things, especially with how things are changing and reshaping between them. She can't lie to him, even if it's a lie by omission, and her eyes search his face for a moment before she breathes out. ]

I know, it's okay. We've both had to make choices we shouldn't have had to - we didn't deserve what happened to us. None of us did.

[ Slowly, slowly, Raven shifts up and turns so she's facing Hank properly. It hurts her heart, but the words have to come - and she has to tell him before they figure out what they're sharing, whatever is happening between them. If he wants her then she could have it, she would want it too, but it has to come with honesty and trust because that had been shattered between them. ]

You - you have to understand that I never thought I was going to come back. I didn't really think I would ever see you again, and I... Hank, I wanted to move on. So I did, at least for a little while. [ Raven frowns, trying to find the right words; it's hard and she can't truly express how she feels about Azazel, not really. ] We were a Brotherhood, and we were a family. But I was closer to some of them than others, do you understand? Someone in particular.

[ And it wouldn't be Erik, who was the leader and more of a family figure to her (despite her bedroom antics before they left) and it wouldn't be Sean or Janos, who rarely spoke. There was only one person, really, and she knows Hank is smart enough to pick up on it. ]

No . . . none of us did. [that much he can admit to, past the guilt for everything that's happened. Has said as much to Charles, when they were discussing similar things.

And . . .

Oh.

It's this conversation.

He can't . . . even pretend that he doesn't know already. He had wanted to hope, of course - that the other worlds had been different in this respect, that Raven hadn't - had a relationship with Azazel in their world, and yet here it is.

He doesn't look surprised, at least. It borders more on accepting and exasperated and - no, he can't be hurt. They had gone their separate ways, and he knows that]

Azazel, right?

[that's it, that's all he's saying]

[ The fact that it doesn't seem to surprise him should irritate her, but it's more of a relief than anything else. It makes the burden easier, as if she can come to grips with what she wants from Hank and what she wanted in the past, too. It's not as if it makes it all perfect, as if they could just move on and go on happily, but it helps. Just a little, at least in her mind.

It might not be the same in Hank's.

While she isn't exactly ashamed of herself she does feel a bit of discomfort, moving her hands away from where they had been so close to Hank, letting her body shift back too. Her hands end up resting on her legs, fidgeting anxiously, and she nods, once, a slow, careful thing. ]

Azazel.

[ She ends up breathing out, closing her eyes as she speaks. ]

I don't need to explain it, or excuse myself. I'm not sure what I should say, since it was us and not you. But you deserve to know because we - you and I were -

[ Kissing. And touching. And being close again and even in the mansion she had wanted him. It wasn't fair that something this big was kept from him, at least for now. ]

[he lets her move away, but it isn't because of the reveal - again, it's on her terms, and - this is a conversation too awkward to have while they're cuddled up to each other.

He isn't sure what he wants to say, and it's obvious in the way he reaches up to take off his glasses, needing something to fiddle with as he gathers his thoughts. Thoughts he's pushed away time and again because he didn't want to acknowledge it.

Finally he sighs, and - he can't help it, he huffs out a noise and rolls his eyes]

I wouldn't ask you to explain yourself. We weren't - together at the time, and it - it isn't as though you aren't allowed to . . . to have other relationships.

[HE HATES THIS CONVERSATION] I don't hate you. I'm not even - angry about it. It doesn't change how I feel about you. [even if that part comes out almost petulantly.

A pause]

But you should ask me how I know. Because - if you don't I'm going to keep putting it off.

[ A petulant, teenage part of Raven doesn't want to talk about this and she watches Hank, watching to see if there's any sign that might give her a chance to run away and avoid the topic now that it's up in the air. The problem is that Hank seems so certain, as if it was knowledge someone else had told him - and, knowing this place, it might well be. She doesn't know what happened before she woke up here and she doesn't know what everyone else knows; she only knows what she herself can offer Hank, right here and right now.

Still, she's oddly charmed by his awkward fumbling, fiddling away as if she wasn't baring her heart to him in her own way. Admitting things like this is hard, but - she knows what she wants, and what she wants is to spend more time with Hank, bridge the unspoken thing they never managed to work out before she left. ]

It didn't change how I felt about you, either. I know I was hurt, that night, and I know that I wanted you to see what I did, but - it doesn't mean I ever stopped feeling how I did. Ten years doesn't feel like a long time when you look in the mirror and nothing changes.

[ It only felt like a long time because of the pain, and the heartache.

Hesitantly, though, she leans forward, fighting back the frown on her face. The answer seems obvious. ]

The other mutants.

[never in his life has he been more thankful for the serum, because it limits what he can react to and - boy is it helping now. Along with the mess of - everything that comes with this, he's suddenly more nervous than ever, and he doesn't stop fiddling with his glasses. Cleaning invisible stains on the lenses over and over]

You - kind of made that obvious when you stopped at the mansion. [it's a weak attempt at humor, and he smiles briefly to get it across] And when - you came over here the first time. I know how you feel, and you know how I feel, so - so it's - it's okay.

[he glances up from his glasses briefly and meets her expression, his own nervous and like he wants to flee]

Yes, but - [he's going to do it. He has to, before another thing is sprung on her without warning]

There's two in particular, though. They're - both named Kurt, but they come from different - versions of our world. [he looks back down at his glasses] And - they're both teleporters, like Azazel. [and then back up, to watch her expression] With blue skin.

[ Hank keeps fiddling and playing and Raven knows something is going to come - he wouldn't be so nervous otherwise, and her eyes dance over him features before she takes a deep breath. For a moment she's scared that something awful is going to happen, but the words come out and she tenses, almost frozen in place. The names come and all of it links together and she almost recoils, shaking her head. ]

Hank, I - [ She swallows, and she tenses, looking away. Her hands clench around nothing and she shakes her head, not able to look at him right now - because she can't. She can't handle it and she wants to go back to the easy comfort of laying with Hank and knowing she's wanted, being able to devote her whole attention to him rather than having some of her mind focussed on being human instead of mutant. ]

I can't talk about - that. Please. [ Teleporters with blue skin. She knows what it means and she knows what Hank knows, or thinks he knows, and she shakes her head, closing her eyes. ] Not right now. There's been too much already and I think my brain is going to melt and I can't, Hank, I just can't, all I wanted -

[ Breathing out, she shakes her head again. ]

All I want is for you to kiss me and tell me it's going to be okay, that - that everything here will work out. It's selfish, I know, telling you all these things and wanting so much from you, but I can't help it. I can't help myself when it comes to you.

Edited 2016-05-15 03:18 (UTC)

[he's staring at her, he knows he is, and the only thing that snaps him out of it is that he can hear his glasses creaking. It startles him into dropping them, and blankly he watches them clatter to the floor before he looks back up at Raven again.

And - maybe it's weak and selfish of him, to be completely okay with not discussing it, not asking the questions he's refused to acknowledge since he found out about it all. But if it is, he doesn't care. He can't, he doesn't want to, and - he told her. It's out of the way. She can do what she wants with the information and - he'll be there to listen or support or completely stay out of it.

He knows he's weak when it comes to her, though. She'd ask him for the moon and he'd try to figure out a way to give it to her.

Barely a second passes after she finishes talking that he moves, his actions almost desperate. He crowds into her space, one hand braced on the bed by her hip and the other pressed to her cheek, leans in close until his lips are just barely brushing hers - and has to forcibly stop himself because he has to talk first.

When he does his voice is just as weak, rough and forced out] Whatever you want, it's yours.

[and then he gives in and kisses her, to say everything else he can't manage without words]

[ Suddenly, as if lightning has struck her, Raven knows what she needs. She knows and she understands that all she needs is to be able to be herself, to share herself with someone who understands her, to be able to be happy with the person that she has cared about for so long - ten years and more. She remembers going back to the mansion and Hank taking care of her leg, remembers looking at him and hearing that the serum wears down when he gets worked up. She remembers watching his face and feeling the burn of wanting more, the touch of his hand against her body and the warmth it inspired -

she remembers the happiness of feeling beautiful and wanted. She had thought she would never have that with Hank, that she would never be able to feel cherished as herself while she still wanted him. She had been wrong, and she's never been so happy to be proven wrong before.

They're both being selfish now, though. They both want so much from each other and it's not going to be easy. She's been here two weeks and spent most of her time with Hank, or in Hank's room, letting herself bask in the silence of his company and baring her heart to him because she didn't have anyone else, couldn't ask anyone else, and he had been as solid and sure as she could have ever dreamed.

As Hank moves Raven does too, shifting towards him as if she's magnetised to him, the North to her South, drawing her closer with instinct more than anything else. Hank might be weak when it comes to her but she knows she's weak to him as well, passing a part of her heart over towards him without hesitation, lifting her hand to wrap it around his neck without a pause just because she needs to touch him, needs to feel him and know that he's there and that they both want this. ]

I just - I want you. Whatever you can give me, whatever I can give you, it's all I want-

[ And then he's kissing her and it's different from kissing him when he's blue but not at all because it's Hank. It might not be the most healthy way to handle things and it might not be the most productive, but she presses into the kiss and draws him closer, drowning in the warmth of him and the taste of his lips against her own, the thrum of joy and want lighting her up from the inside out. ]

[a distant part of his mind desperately tries to remember if he locked the door. He's pretty sure he did. God, he hopes he did.

And that's all his mind is good for, really, because his hands are moving before he can catch up to what he's doing, the hand on Raven's cheek sliding up into her, the one on the bed moving up to rest on her hip. He can feel all of his careful control beginning to shatter, and -

Fuck it. Forget the serum, forget his control, she wants this from him and he'll give it to her, give himself over completely for all that she gives herself over to him. The hand on her hip pulls her even closer, until she's as close as she can be in their positions and kisses her like his life depends on it]

[ And she moves with him in every moment; the guiding hand on her hip makes her shift, lifting herself up so she's in Hank's lap more than she's out of it, adjusting her legs so she can straddle him properly and lean in for a kiss with a better angle, her arms around his neck and her fingers reaching to stroke through his hair, gentle as she centres herself. He's warm and real and she keeps thinking it each time they do this, each time they kiss, reminding her of the mansion and the passion she had felt then, how it had been so easy to lean over him and give into her urges, to let him touch her and explore - until he had stopped.

Raven wonders if he'll stop now, and she thinks she doesn't want him to.

It's not just that she wants Hank to make all the bad thoughts go away, of course; she isn't using him as a distraction or a tool and she hopes that he knows. Hank has always been the forefront of her mind, has always been so important to her, changing her view of herself and strengthening her, making her stronger and weaker all at once, and he had influenced her more than he knew. Now she can embrace the better side of all of that, letting herself give in to the desire and the depth of feeling she has towards him, her hand on his cheek as she presses closer.

She wants this; she wants him. She wants Hank to know how much she cares about him because, fuck, she's sure she's been half in love with him since they first met and she told him that he was amazing, since their first tentative almost kiss, since she sat on his lap, watched him work, since the first tears and the first kiss and all of it.

It's the kind of thing that never ends, and she embraces it because she wants to. She doesn't fight the affection she has for him because it's good, amazing and perfect and Hank in her arms is the greatest thing she's experienced, Hank touching her so good it makes her want to fall apart as she draws him into a deeper kiss. ]

[if he had been planning to stop, he shows no signs of it. Especially not when she moves to sit in his lap, and he sits back to make it easier, moving with her.

He's no stranger to overwhelming the serum, but it's different each time. Entirely dependent on what's overwhelming him and how, what the state of his emotions are before he completely lets go, and if it's a willing thing or not. Sometimes it's an all-over, quick change; sometimes it's a slow crawl, almost reminiscent of Raven's shapeshifting. But he can tell each time, feel it as his body physically changes and his mutation pushes its way through.

It's subtle at first; he shifts his hand in her hair and briefly pulls it away all together as fur and blue start to emerge, as his nails push their way out into claws. He only draws back long enough to get a breath of air and to allow for his face to go through its changes before moves forward again to resume the kiss.

He doesn't pay attention to the rest. Not when his mind is focused on the only other person in the room, and all he wants is to keep kissing her, touching her, being entirely selfish and not giving a damn about it]

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