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Who: Loki
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: On the moon initially, but he'll be back to the Paisley soon, and probably on the Iskaulit
When: June 5 (ends June 12)

Video

[Video starts with... that sure is Loki. But there's something subtly weird about his expression. There's nothing guarded or calculated about it, a slight relaxation of ever-present tension that was never apparent before, perhaps. The best poker face in all Nine Realms is nowhere to be seen. If anything, he looks upset. Confused, worried, a bit scared. And he's out in the forest on the toxic moon, which is just great, let him tell you. No mask, but he's never needed one before, not that he's aware of that, or of the fact that most people have to wear them.]

Hello? Yes, this seems to be working. What a curious device. [Anyway. The point.]

I seem to be lost. Very lost. Where is this?

[A view of the forest, brief but steady.]

And--[Careful breath.]--who am I?

Action

[Lucky Loki, his augment has glitched and while he remembers how to do things--and the occasional esoteric fact--he has no idea who he is. Good news--or bad news depending on your opinion of his usual space asshole personality--he'll get over it in about a week.

Even if no one comes find him, he'll make his way back to civilization eventually and be very confused about life and where he's even supposed to be. Good thing he's practically indestructible. But eventually, he will be around on the Paisley, and on the Iskaulit, poking about.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

They haven't gone through this kind of experience. As such, they do not understand the changes that come with it. There will be a death of this to bring back the old. It is what you choose to do after you learn such knowledge that determines you.

[ He pauses. ] What you learn now is yours and yours alone. I would treasure it.

[He has to close his eyes for a moment because he's now succeeded in upsetting himself.] It is pointless.

Nothing is pointless.

Then why does it feel so? [He could weep, but there's something that stops him, something not conscious, but bone deep. And so he laughs instead.]

Because you have yet to discover the point.

And so we turn another circle.

[He's frustrated. He's upset. He starts to pace. There is no answer that he knows and none he can come up with that he likes.]

What did you do? Were you so surrounded?

In a different manner. My walls were already closed. I had simply forgotten that. Yours are not.

[And there it is. He's already coming to hate the sensation that everyone is in the know but him, that everyone knows things about him that he ought to know, and won't bloody tell him.

What walls? There seems no point in asking Leto to clarify that either, since he's supposed to enjoy his utter ignorance.

Bitterly:] Oh, what a fool I have been made.

[Or who knows, maybe he was always a fool, and he just can't remember the rest of it at the moment. The village idiot, perhaps. It's as sound of a theory as any else. He has no basis for comparison. He rubs his forehead.]

I shall cease to waste your time.

[ Softly. ] I have time to waste.

If you wish to be angry at me, then do so. I am here for you and you alone. I cannot change what is now. I can only be here.

Do I, if I am a toy that will soon wind down to nothing and vanish?

I am angry-- [And he is, he realizes. When did that happen?] I am angry that no one will tell me anything bloody useful, and I am angry at my own utter uselessness.

Perhaps I have learned something of myself. I do not like to be the butt of a joke I do not understand.

[ He shakes his head. ]

You assume there is a joke. But you have looked upon their faces, Loki. Do any of them seem like they wish to laugh?

I do not you will vanish. I believe . . . that your experiences with merge with your older self. What you have now, what you learn now, is also valuable.

[ He sighs again, tired. He is bone-weary. He has nothing else to give. Leto cannot break his rules. And yet, here he is. As if he is in any way necessary or needed.

Bi-la kaifa. He chose this. He'll reap it. ]

I assume that this has been done to me for a purpose. [No, they just look at him as if he's some sort of curious animal. It doesn't feel much nicer.]

If my... older self has been about here, I imagine I will learn many things he already knows. [Though he does feel bad at the sound of that sigh. A useless conversation, and all it's done is make him cranky and apparently left Leto feeling put upon.

In this state, he's far more willing to empathize because he has no reason to talk himself out of it. On top of being ignorant, then, perhaps he's a bother. It seems unfair, because he didn't ask to be so, at least he doesn't think he did. On the other hand, he doubts anyone has asked to deal with his unending stream of questions, either.

So finally:] I am sorry to have caused you grief.

If it is, it is a cruel one. And not one any would wish upon you. If your older self was here, he could learn from you as well.

[ Leto shakes his head, a rueful smile. ] You have not. To be here for you is enough. It was my decision. I can only hope it matters to you. And wish that it continues to do good.

Is that so? I have been told I have enemies. I am still trying to puzzle that out.

[Snort.] What could anyone possibly learn from me?

[He's only talked to a very few people before now, but no one has said anything at all like this. Softly:] Why?

Even enemies do not always wish for cruelty.

[ Though that was not the best bombshell to drop. ]

Curiosity. The fulfillment of a new experience. To see the world with opened eyes, ones weary people cannot use. To question what is standard. To break the mold.

[ Leto considers his words. ] You have my heart.

All right. [He has to assume that Leto knows more about these supposed enemies than he, so he will believe him.] Though I then wonder what I have done, to have enemies at all.

[Are these all things he has that this older self does not? It seems a rather distressing list in that light, and he's not certain what to say about it.

Of course, any more probing he might have done on that topic is completely derailed by the next answer. He doesn't have his natural poker face any more; it startles him into a swift little intake of breath, though a quite one. It seems an important thing. Though as he turns those words in his mind, he concludes that Leto also must mean this supposed older self of his.] Is that why you have spoken so?

We all have enemies. There is no one who lives without them.

[ He's quiet before speaking. ]

No and yes. I would have spoken so even without knowing him.

[He'll file that piece of information about enemies away under things he's learned. He ought to ask Ahsoka who her enemies are, perhaps.

But this... what to make of this. Love is still a very abstract concept to him. He has approached everyone with a rather open heart and mind because he doesn't know any better, but he knows that isn't the same thing.]

Oh. You must know him very well. [And then he wonders, what it must be like to feel that way about someone and then have them replaced by... a fool who knows nothing, really. ] I am sorry.

[ Susan didn't know, but Susan wasn't a Loki he had fallen in love with. She would never remember because she wasn't the one who led him into the fields and rescued his soul. ]

What are you sorry for?

[He shrugs, faintly.] Because he is gone and I am here in his stead.

[ He frowns lightly. People don't always understand this aspect of Leto's love. ]

You are still him. Why would my love change?

I know nothing that he knew. I would think I am but a hollow shell off him

Knowledge is only a smart part of who we. You are not hollow.

[One hand curls into a loose fist over his heart.] I feel empty.

[He has begun to encompass how little he actually knows.] What else is there?

[ Leto nods. He had felt the same way, in the past. There's little that can absolve it, only time. And time is scarce. ]

A great many things that will bloom.

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