driftfleet | [video/Action]

[She grimaces with him when she sees that grab. She's gotten kind of used to it happening to her. But she does feel bad seeing it happen to someone else.] Mm, you should have said something. I would have been happy to do it sooner. Happy to share.

[ he doesn't think he'll ever get used to it. he's pretty sure most of these locals just feel annoyance from him. he starts walking, to get a little distance from the stall, and shrugs. ]

I know. [ but asking for help, particularly financial help, is awkward and hard for him. he's been independent for most of his life, taking nothing from no one. it's embarrassing not to have that. and he'd be much better at budgeting his money - if he didn't have this ticking clock hanging over his head for these purchases. who knows when we'll get to a decent planet next? ]

Thank you.

[That's probably better than the phasing most people get from her.]

There's no need to thank me. Then I'd have to thank you for paying for the inn and it would just be this spiral of unnecessary thanks when we both just want to have nice things and share them. [She smiles at him.] We are going to stock up on so much here. And there is going to be pizza! Pinkie Pie has a plan.

[She phases them both and takes a step up so she can kiss his forehead easily.]

And let me help you sometimes. It's nice. Having someone who helps you and who you can help. This relationship thing we have going.

[ he can't really express how moved he is at this moment, and it's a good thing he doesn't have to because she can just sense it. help him. he's needed help so many times in his life and had none of it, and now here it is - so freely offered, all he has to do is reach out and grab it - but it's so hard because he's so used to being self sufficient, he's so used to not being able to ask for it that he doesn't really know how to ask for it. a part of him still wants to figure things out on his own, to impress her, but the rest of him just wants it to shut up already because it really is nice to have someone who helps him. he likes sharing with kitty, he likes it a whole lot. ]

It's really nice. You better mean it about the pizza - it'd be very cruel to toy with me about that. How close are you?

[She knows that would be a hard transition to make and she's just happy he wants to make it.]

Pretty close. Of course it turned into something like a mass pizza party so lots of gathering things up. Big affair. It could happen by the end of the week? [But it won't because someone will be in a hiatus coma by then.] I'll let you know when we're ready to block off time for all the pizza eating. We'll probably need some help the day of too.

[ he wants to make a lot of changes to himself. he may not be able to go through with all of them - but the desire is still there. ]

I can help - I'm good at helping!

[ so much excitement right now - like a little kid at christmas, a dog with a really cool new squeaky toy - and so much gratitude. he really did hit the girlfriend jackpot. ]

I feel like you're more excited for helping make pizza than helping to eat pizza. [Smiling at him and then tearing off a piece of the fried bread and eating it.] Mmmm!

[ it may be a tie, because kara will love the pizza too, and cisco, and all his regular-earth friends - ohh and he could introduce margaery to pizza! that's be amazing! but he's definitely excited for eating it and a part of him also wants to keep it all for themselves because holy shit real pizza. he could cry tears of joy just thinking about it. he misses national city - misses the freedom to go where he pleases, misses the tech, misses the solid ground always under his feet, and he misses takeout. he practically lived on the stuff. he's never gone this long without pizza, even the orphanage offered a gross rendition once a month. ]

If I help make it I can help eat it sooner.

[ nodding and taking a big bite of his own piece ] Okay have I mentioned that I love this planet yet? Cuz I love this planet - [ which is saying a lot considering how uncomfortable he is with the stranger-touching and the people in his head, and the nearly turning into a t-rex's appetizer... ]

I love it too. I think that has a lot to do with you. [She likes living wit him. They practically do on the ships but it isn't the same. There's a daily choice in whose place to be in, but here they have one together. The still spend time away from each other at respective jobs or different friends. Maybe they don't even see each other more but there's something more stable in it. Something that feels like it's building toward things even though it's not because eventually they'll be taken away from here.

It's strange because she isn't really ready to "live together." It's not a thing she'd have suggested if it was permanent. Yet, here they are.

But the food is good too. That's definitely part of it. Doesn't hurt that the last place they stopped was such a disaster either. Except for the dance. She loved the dance.]

[ if it were permanent, he'd be a little freaked at the suggestion. he loves kitty, and he loves waking up by her side every day, and he's not sure why it should freak him out at all, but that logical part of his brain insists that it's just too soon to really be living together, even if that's basically what they already do, and sometimes when he catches himself thinking about it - it scares him a little too. but he doesn't want to pump the brakes, he's happy with the way things are, and isn't that what really matters in the end? who cares about socially constructed notions like too fast?

he also loved the dance, a lot, especially how it ended. but also the middle part, where they were dancing, and talking, and laughing, and falling for each other.

he leans in to kiss her because she requires kissing right now and he's just so in love with her. ]

[She kisses back readily. She feels lighter with Winn. Like they can have fun together and be happy together. That is such a simple, innocent, honest thing and it shouldn't be more easily available than it is.

It's nice that they are on the same page about living together and the speed of things too. A little scary and a lot nice and best not to formalize such things now.]

Edited 2016-07-17 05:53 (UTC)

[ he's also reminded of their time in the moon's supply closet right now because boy could he use one about now.

he smiles when they break apart, brushing hair out of her face. ]

Hi. [ she can wipe his mind with a kiss, he really thinks that should count on her power count - he's pretty sure she's over the line to kryptonian by now. ]

[She laughs softly.] Was the kiss really that good? [It was a pretty nice kiss.] One ride, one game, and one snack and you're done, huh? [She sounds amused not annoyed.]

I can't believe we didn't continue in that supply closet. [Would they still be together if they had? If they'd been that intimate that quickly would they have gotten close faster or would she have pushed him away? She hadn't been looking for something like this. She's just really glad she found it despite herself.]

If you have to ask me that I'm really slacking -

[ because it definitely was to him. there's a hint of worry that creeps into him now, because he wants to make her feel the way she makes him feel. ]

Look it's not my fault you kick any carnival's butt. [ he was practically done just with her hello kiss before they even went in. he throws an arm lightly around her shoulder, and kisses the top of her head. no, but he's enjoying the carnival, and he wants to stay as long as she does - he definitely wants to play some more games. ]

I'm still not sure I believe we started. [ not the sort of thing that happens to guys like him. ever. he's happy with the way things happened - kitty is too good for supply closets, after all. she's the woman he loves. if he could've gotten her a 5 stars suite, he would've. he doesn't want to consider the very real possibility that if she hadn't stopped them he could've lost all of this with one stupid decision. he doesn't ever want to give her a reason to push him away. ]

Don't you dare worry that you don't turn me on enough. If it was any more than it is already we would never leave our room. They'd be kicking us out for not paying while we were still going at it. We'd be covered in friction burns. It's all very messy from here up. [She leans into him as they walk. The problem—if there is a problem which there really isn't—is that she's more on the sentimental side of things tonight with her parent's photo in her bag and all.]

And it wouldn't have been your fault if I had done something stupid back then. [To be clear, she thinks pushing him away would have been stupid, not having sex with him in a supply closet. He may think she's too good for that, but she kind of likes impromptu places. Supply closets could still be in their future!] You would have won me over eventually with your relentless charm.

[ he laughs, blushing lightly. those are some images she's calling to mind, how is he supposed to deal with any of this out in public as they are? he knows eventually they're supposed to cool down a little bit but he can't really imagine that ever happening because kitty can just play him like - he can play super mario. ]

I'm glad things happened the way they did. [ it takes him a while to find his voice but when he finds it - that's the point he wants to clarify. he's not sure he would've won her over if she pushed him away. he never really believed he could have what they have, it's not unimaginable to him that he would've turned inwards, shut in, let her push him. after all, it was only their second meeting. ]

Me too. And I'm glad you find me as enticing as a tiny Italian man. [She kisses his cheek and her voice softens.] You don't have to imagine that. [It didn't start that way. It won't end that way. It won't end at all she hopes.]

You're at least twice as enticing as a tiny Italian man.

[ ok so if he had to choose between one night with kitty and a whole marioless life, kitty will win every single time. the comparison only came to mind because he doesn't play an instrument and he isn't sure if she does either - ]

I don't wanna imagine that. [ if it ever ends, he'll be crushed. ]

[She kisses him again.] No instruments. Too busy learning to dance, speak multiple languages and build computers.

Wow, this whole touching thing really saves on having to bring things up. [It's a little weird and a little nice.]

Busy lady.

[ he smiles warmly. he agrees wholeheartedly on the weird - and yeah it's a little nice - but it's also scary. and uncomfortable. and stressful. he wants to learn to talk, not to have his mind read and save him from ever having to evolve the skill. he also wants to be able to control what she knows and when - she doesn't have to be exposed to every petty little thought, they aren't representative of who he is as a person he likes to think and -- it's really stressful trying to control his mind. ]

Sure does.

I, um, I guess I don't know if it's stranger to let them slide like I didn't feel the thing I felt or to just acknowledge it. [Has she been making the wrong choice? Though she has let some things go by without comment.

And do you know who else her mind travels to when she thinks about someone trying to control his mind of unwanted thoughts? Okay, yes, Reid a little bit, but more so it goes to Nathan. She hasn't mentioned him at all, not because he wasn't important to her but because he's hard to explain. Don't worry. Not a romantic interest in the slightest. Just a kid a few years younger than her from Reid's world was once a suspect in a serial murder case. He didn't commit those murders, but he...wanted to. He wanted to kill prostitutes because they were "dirty." He hated himself for it. He tried to kill himself to protect people from him, but Reid had stopped him. And then suddenly he was her roommate and she was making sure he ate and got out some and tried to make him smile sometimes. He was like her Sascha in some ways.And then completely different in others. But Nathan was plagued by dark, intrusive thoughts he couldn't control.

She wanted to help him. He could be so sweet and gentle. She wonders how he took her disappearance. How he's doing. She's pretty sure she'll never see him again. She'll never know. The outlook was bleak.]

[ and he doesn't know how to play it either, especially now. he doesn't know how to feel about reminding her of someone like that. is she saying she senses that deep a darkness from him? god he hopes not, he doesn't want to hurt anyone and the people he finds revolting in the prostitution business are the pimps and the customers - taking shameless and cruel advantage of people who may well not see or have another choice in life. why is he suddenly compelled to look through his heart, to make sure - like one would pat down their pockets to make sure they have their wallet and keys and everything they need in place - that everything is where it belongs, that nothing sinister managed to sneak in while he was otherwise engaged. no, he really doesn't think so...

he tightens his hold on her slightly, squeezing her shoulder. he knows the desire to help someone turn it around - he often fantasized about what it could have been like if he'd have been aware, if he could've helped his dad. he was only 11, he logically knows there was nothing he could do, but the guilt is always there. if he'd have just gotten help...but that's a moot point now. his dad is too far gone. he sincerely hopes her nathan isn't, that he found someone else to take care of him, to help him control what feels uncontrollable. ]

I think it's -- a case by case sorta thing. You wanna...sit somewhere and talk?

[ what he's just felt from her feels heavy, and if she wants to talk about it - he wants to be there for her. they can always come back to the carnival tomorrow. ]

[She gives his hand a squeeze.] Sure. [If only to reaffirm to him that she only sees good things in his heart. Did he already forget she fell in love with his good heart?]

Do you want to sit on a pony that's moving around in circles while we do it? [Is that too ridiculous or just ridiculous enough. She doesn't want it to be heavy. She probably should have brought Nathan up by now. Hell, maybe she should have just gone down a list mentioning everyone she's known. There's still so much they don't know about each other and she wasn't hiding it, but when do you bring up your...sexual sadist ward?]

[ it could be subconscious - neither one of them is particularly great at the self-worth thing, she could be looking for the damaged. ]

Sure.

[ he squeezes her hand in return. he'd rather face her, but he'll do it whichever way she's comfortable. there's plenty they don't know about each other yet but it makes sense - their relationship is still new, and they're complicated people. he needs his time to feel comfortable with sharing some of his stories, he won't begrudge her the same, nor will he begrudge her not wanting to turn their lives into an infinite talk series about her tragedies. they have to live their lives, their present, if they focus too hard on the past they wouldn't be able to move on. his fear of the timing has nothing to do with thinking she was keeping this from him and everything to do with what him reminding her of it now means about him. ]

Nothing. [Okay, so the hand holding sharing makes for some non-existent segues. And apparently she's not waiting for ponies or sitting.] Okay, not nothing, but not a bad thing. Just the part where you're trying to protect your mind from thoughts. But you don't have those thoughts. You're just worried you would. And not like Nathan's. [He's worried about being like his Dad who is terrible, but a completely different level of terrible than a sexual sadist serial killer. Thought also, Nathan wasn't that because he never actually hurt anyone but himself. It's complicated.]

And it's a carnival. It's the kind of thing I'd tell Nathan to try and enjoy and relax a little at if he were here. Plus, lots of junk food. His favorite. Minds bring things up. That's all.

[And maybe she does look for damaged a little so she doesn't feel like she's tainting the person she's with. And so she can feel like they might be able to understand her better. That's all. It's not like she ever wants to relive Tyki.]

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