driftfleet | dreams in digital

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dreams in digital

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(last updated: 1/21/19)

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[ the voice was loki’s but fully distorted.

And so, the younger sibling kills one father to save another. Pride fills him at last. At last the golden realm could love him. Could not discard him. He had done what no one else could. They could see that he was a true son of the golden realm. But his brother had returned, changed. Gone was the Giant-Killer, here was the gentler brother he had tried so hard to reach and failed, every time. Wrought with anger, fear and pain, they fought on the bridge between worlds. The bridge shattered under the weight of the hammer and they fell — nearly.

Nearly . . .

The younger son told the high king what he had been trying to do. He asked for understanding — he was a fool — he thought his family would take him back — but he wasn’t theirs — they saw him for his monster that he was and said no. And thus, the monster was defeated, plunged back into the depths and the golden realm was saved . . .

The rest of the pages are filled with celebration and a single spread page with Thor and Odin standing over a mound of blue. And a pitiful voice whispers, I could have done it, Father. I could have done it. For you. ]

[Holy?

Shit???

Taako hadn't expected things to go that way, but maybe he should have. Loki had said he hadn't tried to kill Odin, but to have him use this whole thing as some elaborate plot to kill the Frost Giants? And not just that, but the entirety of their planet?

That's. Wow. Maybe he and that earlier, younger Thor had more in common than he thought. Then again...It was kind of like trying to erase everything that would connect him to that world of 'monsters,' as the Asgardians called them. Sure, they were a warlike society - kind of like orcs, actually - but that didn't mean you straight up murdered the entire race.

But Taako isn't sure if Odin is denying Loki as a person or if it's simply his actions. Even Taako can't really get behind killing that entire planet, despite everything they'd done. The doubt that plagues Loki, the pain of having his machinations fall around him and the double punch of being told 'no,' he can see how it'd grow into bitterness easy enough. He'd done what he thought his father would have wanted, not realizing that in his own way, he'd followed Thor into being a Giant-Killer.

With a sigh, Taako closes the book and shakes his head.]

Kinda whiffed it on that plan, huh? Why'd you think killing the entire planet was a good idea?

Desperation. Thor had been banished and he was their son. I could not take any chances. For all I know, he would have killed me.

[ that sort of feeling has faded over time, but back then, it was all loki could think about. if thor came back, if his father woke up, what would loki have to prove he was worthy of staying? of being part of asgard? everything was collapsing around him. ]

I mean, technically, so were you? Your mom kept telling you that.

[But he knows. Just because someone says something doesn't make it true, can't make it true in your heart. Taako knew family was supposed to care for one another, could see it in the way that Frigga interacts with Loki, but to him? Well, family was always just going to be the people who put up with you only as long as you're useful or not a burden, and then they'd pass you along.]

But I get it, I guess. Can't really see Thor killing you, but I guess you know that now, huh?

It was a long time ago.

[ it feels like another lifetime ago. things were markedly different. ]

Thor's goal as a child was to hunt the monsters down.

[A real long time ago, judging by how they both act now.]

And your goals now? Less monster hunting, more universe saving from what I've gathered.

Now? I don't know.

[ he had wanted to start anew with asgard. with thor. now of course, such dreams have long been shattered. loki is still rebuilding. ]

[...oh.

....right.

Taako flinches as he remembers that, technically, Loki is dead right now. Even if he's alive and well on the Marsiva now, when they get back to his world? He's very much dead. Not many goals you can have when the Astral Plane is the only thing waiting for you.]

Take up a hobby, maybe? Spin class is a thing I've heard of.

[ loki doesn't take it personally. ]

Spin class?

Yeah! I have. No idea what they do there, but you always hear someone talking about it, so it must be popular, right?

[He affects a different accent, his voice rising in pitch.]

"I can't come see your shitty kids' school performance, Karen, I have to go to spin class. I go to spin class three times a week and it's just done wonders for me."

[And back to his usual register.]

Y'know, stuff like that.

[ loki's lips twitch. ]

Unfortunately, I cannot confirm that. I've never met any mortals into spin class.

Could be for the best - you know how Karen can be.

[What kind of hobbies would best interest a god though? One that liked to read. Uh....]

What about poetry? Or bullet-journalling. I hear that's all the rage these days.

[ his nose wrinkles. ]

That sounds pretentious. Even for me.

[Taako gives Loki a quick look of disbelief before shrugging. If even a god thinks bullet-journalling is pretentious, he's probably right.]

Scrapbooking? Cake decorating. Mmmmmmmm, knitting?

[ loki takes on a pained look. ]

Please stop.

[Ohhhh he said the magic words. Taako's smile widens, growing mischievous.]

Painting? Clay sculpting. Train spotting!

No.

Hoop n' stick, then? Or learning to play just enough guitar to play that one song, Wonderwall! What about stamp collecting?

[ loki gives him a flat look. ]

Is this how you spent your time? Because it explains a lot.

[A smirk flits across his face and he shrugs.]

Taako's an elf of mystery! How I spent my formative years is unknown to anyone; even me!

That is a terrible thing to boast about.

[He holds up a finger with a grin.]

But I still got something to boast about, so that's a point in my corner.

[ loki feels this is the opposite of boasting. and logic. but he'll leave it at that. ]

I imagine those points will add up. Eventually.

One day I'll dethrone Merle and his fucking- [He snickers, amused at his own joke.] - nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine party points.

You should get on this train, my dude. It's fun as fuck.

[ does he want to know??? ]

I think I'll pass.

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