driftfleet | dreams in digital

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dreams in digital

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ROOMS BY CHARACTER

A - C

Connor

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Haggar

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Lup

(last updated: 1/21/19)

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I'm afraid peace is a little out of reach for the people on my world. It seems like there's always some war going on.

[He sighs.]

The Lich King is said to be some fearsome spirit who was cursed to rule over the undead. He possessed the human prince Arthas, our land's neighbor, so of course we were on the menu. No one came to help us.

Familiar story.

[Lup snorts faintly; there's far too many worlds in the universe - multiverse, whatever - that love to fight all the time. War for land, for people, for resources, and of course for relics... and then regular folks just trying to live their lives get caught in the crossfire. It sucks.

At least his lich sounds a bit different from her particular flavour, but even so, she'll just make a mental note not to bring that up around him.]

I'm sorry... you didn't deserve that.

That's the way the world has always been.

[He rolls his shoulders in a shrug. His posture is poor, constantly hunched over to appear smaller. He doesn't realize he's doing it.]

All I can do is move forward. Crying about it doesn't put food on the table. So I... don't talk about her much. Maybe she's looking for me, but I...

I don't want to hear the answer if it's not the one I want.

She...

[Wait, what?]

What do you mean, looking for you? She might be alive?

[Welcome to paranoia station! Next stop: despair.]

She never got a burial. I've gone through so many scenarios in my head. Was she resurrected in the Lich King's service? Was she made into something worse? Is she living under a new name, having forgotten everything that made her my sister?

There's no definitive answer. I asked and I asked for years, but no one ever saw someone fitting her description. Still, I... I have to hope that one day, perhaps-- if I grow strong enough in my magic, I can find her.

[He bites his bottom lip and closes his eyes.]

I don't want to think about her not being alive. Every single major decision I've made was to chase her memory. If she isn't there-- if she's not...

I'll fall apart.

[.....

Ah.

Lup leans back at that, her smile entirely faded, something flat and dark and indecipherable crossing her expression. That's familiar. Far, far too familiar.]

So which is it, then? Are you looking for her or not? Because you're not gonna get a guarantee on the answer. That's not how it works, and if you wait for it then you'll never find her.

[He peeks up at her through his bangs. He's cold and hungry and tired, even if he's none of those things presently. He has a family at home, he has friends here, he has...

... a void where a big sister should be.]

I'm still looking. But what if I don't like the answer? If she isn't coming back, then I'll be alone again.

[She meets his gaze for a long moment, lips tightly pursed, then glances away abruptly.]

You're alone now, aren't you?

[He looks down at his feet.] ... Yes. I was adopted later on, but it's not... the same.

She raised me.

Okay, but- you don't have her anymore. She's not with you. You could find her alive, or you could find her dead- but at least you'd find her. Even a small chance is better than the nothing you've got if you don't try.

[The idea of someone being lost, of those who miss them showing even an ounce of hesitation in finding them out of fear- it's awful. It's beyond awful. It's imagining Barry or Lucretia giving up on her because it had been so long, or because there was too much else to be done, or they'd given up hope- it's imagining if Taako hadn't noticed her, or lost interest in the staff, or left her behind to continue rotting in that awful, dark, empty place for years, for centuries-

Her fists clench at her sides, tight and tremulous.]

What if she's trapped somewhere? What if she's waiting for you?

[He looks at her with wide eyes. This wasn't exactly the inspirational speech that most people might have given him, or the kind of consolation normally expected in this situation, but it works. It's terrifying and personal and maybe a little bit familiar, that quiet desperation, that certainty. She has a point.

And really, he's like a twelve year old kid right now with some knowledge of his own future, so it's not like it has to make sense.]

She's not dead! [And there it is, the vehement denial he's clung to all this time.] If I haven't found her, it just means that I haven't looked hard enough!

[She doesn't like this. She doesn't like it at all. It's tangential at best, but it's still too close, still making her chest ache in ways that she's not sure that she can bear.]

It's... okay to believe in that. I'm sure she'd want you to keep searching for her. But she wouldn't want you to just give up on everything if she's gone, either.

[He really doesn't know anything about her pain, but it's something he'd probably apologize for if he did. What a terrible thing to have it in common.]

I... [One can almost see the gears turning in his head as he tries to process this. Caspa certainly wouldn't want him to give up.] I know, but...

I don't think I'm strong enough. I don't-- I don't know how to move on. There's just an emptiness. How am I supposed to pretend it's not there?

Fake it til you make it, little guy. That's my theme song.

[Lup turns away, casting her gaze around the room and taking a few circling steps, though she's very careful not to touch anything else.]

If you're not strong, then get stronger. If you don't know how to get stronger, figure out how. If you can't figure out how, find someone who'll teach you. There's always a path forward, no matter what's in your way. And if you feel empty?

[She turns back towards him, thumping her chest with a grin.]

Fill that shit right back up with whatever you can get your hands on. You're a smart kid, figure it out.

[He watches her move, ears attentive. He's trying to relate-- trying to puzzle together how he can apply this advice to his current situation. How many times has he thrown someone or something away so he could get stronger? It was an obsession, at least until he met the man who would be his adoptive father. Adra was his teacher, first.

All things considered, he hasn't strayed far from the advice she's giving him. But he still doesn't believe in himself. He doesn't believe in the answer he'll find if he keeps searching.

That's... the problem. If he's afraid of the truth, then he can't ever really find it, can he?

He looks at his hands, still too small to properly wield a staff. He closes his fingers over his palms and looks at her.]

... I'm going to try.

Good.

[She can't (and won't) expect much more out of him at this point; this is still a dream, after all, and people don't change overnight. But at the very least, if he remembers, he has something to think about when he's awake.

Satisfied for the moment, she quirks a brow over her shoulder at him.]

Soooo... how do I get out of here?

[Having any kind of older girl around really makes him miss his sister. Exponentially so. But he swallows and he bears it, because that's part of being alive.

Oh right, the way out.]

Probably that door. I don't know how long it's been there. This place is weird.

[He gestures to a fancy mahogany door on the far wall away from the windows.]

Be careful, okay? The next room might be a nightmare.

Not much of an exit, is it, if there's more to come.

[She sighs and goes to take the door anyway, though, since she really sees no other way to proceed.]

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