[ one year anniversary ]

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Video
Action: SS First Breath
When: Today! It's a special day!

( video broadcast )

[ the feed splutters before turning on. loki is surrounded by a whole bunch of boxes. boxes as far as the eye can see. loki has started opening them while the speakers blast this song loud and clear. loki, for his part merely huffs. ]

It seems I have spent a total of a year in this place and the, ah, viewers wish to celebrate. However most of this is useless to me, so I welcome anyone else taking them into their hands.

[ which, ngl, he's into. but the gifts loki has are just . . . baffling. he holds each one up to the camera. we have the mighty thor scooter, captain chickmerica, loki on hotwheels, a masterpiece, plastic horns, disturbing panties and something for "sophisticated men" ]

Please feel free to come by to the First Breath to pick them up.

Also, this has reminded me. Since we are essentially living by this . . . awkward mortal calendar, I have decided I want a birthday. You lot should help me pick one.

[ and get him presents. this is essentially a ploy for presents. ]

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

[ he snorts slightly. ]

Just that this is a level of denseness that surprises me. This is a vibrating device. People use it to reach new heights of pleasure.

[brooklyn_boy]

Vibrating device?

[Steve's confused and then, finally, he gets it. You can tell by how immediately he turns red.]

Wh- Why? Why would they send that to you?!

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki shrugs. ]

Perhaps they thought I was lonely and in need of sexual gratification.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Wait....]

You're gonna use it? How?

Actually. Nevermind. I don't want to know.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki gives him a pained look. ]

The fact that you do not know is answer enough.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Jerk.]

Look. You...shapeshift. So I get it. You do that and use it.

[Because of course men can't but Steve isn't an idiot. He can figure things out, thank you.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ dryly. ]

Men can use vibrators too.

[brooklyn_boy]

[The skeptical look on his face defies explaination. Trickster god won't get him that easy.]

I'm sure.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he smirks. ]

Are you now? Perhaps you need a description. Maybe some pictures to go along with it.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Steve turns into Captain Tomato.]

Stop it. I'm not stupid. Experience or no experience, I know what parts people have and don't have.

[dothelokimotion]

That seems debatable, considering your reaction. If you know that much, I fail to see the shame in it.

[brooklyn_boy]

Wait ...

Guys really can us it?

[If he falls for a prank that quickly he's gonna hate himself. But Loki seems genuine.]

[dothelokimotion]

Of course. It only needs to be applied in the right areas.

[brooklyn_boy]

Areas?

[Steve knows of the one. The one blatantly obvious one. Did Loki...have more than one?]

Isn't it the wrong....shape? For that?

[dothelokimotion]

Steve.

I am not going to teach you how vibrators work.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Captain Tomato evolves into Captain Blood-Red.]

I'm not asking you to! This is.... Never*mind*.

Go back to the chicken.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki picks up the chicken, dangling it. ]

An excellent stuffed toy to vent frustrations on.

[brooklyn_boy]

Stop broadcasting that. It's embarrassing. Just get rid of it. Or...magic it into Thor.

[Loki would probably enjoy another thing to tease him about.]

[dothelokimotion]

Oh, but I already have the perfect Thor toy.

[ he holds up the scooter. he's an equal opportunity teaser anyway. ]

[brooklyn_boy]

[Steve laughs at it, starting to go back to normal color.] He can race your Loki-mobile.

[dothelokimotion]

I'm afraid it is not much of a contest. As I have four wheels and he has two.

[brooklyn_boy]

As someone who drives a motorcycle himself, don't be so sure about that.

[dothelokimotion]

And here I thought you ran around aimlessly, looking for villains to fight.

[brooklyn_boy]

They're usually the ones who find me.

[dothelokimotion]

I highly doubt that. You have all the instincts of a lemming seeking danger.