Voices from Heaven (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thespaceopera) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2015-10-20 11:18 am
thespaceopera) wrote in driftfleet2015-10-20 11:18 am
Entry tags:
- !event,
- ahsoka tano,
- coil lenn,
- margaret "peggy" carter,
- nami,
- natasha romanoff,
- nelkeila tarid,
- nyssa al ghul,
- octavia blake,
- one,
- phèdre nó delaunay de montrève,
- r. daneel olivaw,
- rapunzel,
- remy lebeau,
- riku,
- robin redbreast,
- rogue,
- santanico pandemonium,
- shawn hunter,
- sokka,
- stefan salvatore,
- steve rogers (ou),
- steven quartz universe,
- stiles stilinski,
- syeira,
- tadashi hamada,
- tekhetsio,
- the vision,
- vash the stampede,
- vima sunrider,
- wanda maximoff,
- wrath,
- yamanaka ino
...And also these.
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no subject
[Well. That's good, then. That he said something and it turned out all right. He's been getting better about that lately, he thinks, just a little bit at a time. Trying to be honest, trying to be good. Trying to find something to live for. Things like that.]
[He looks down at Robin as the surprise and concern drains away; then, after a moment, he nods and pulls him close again. Maybe . . . he could say more. Maybe that would turn out all right, too.]
. . . You helped a lot. I wouldn't have said anything at all if the ship hadn't been making me do strange things, but I think - talking that night, talking to you especially, made me realize that it wasn't bad to. Lean on people? Sometimes.
I think I might have learned more about myself talking to you that night than I have in . . . years, really. All the ways that I try to trip myself up, all the ways I hold myself back. And it's important. I think it's important, because I don't want to be in here all the time.
[He pauses, glances at the nestled-up bird sisters again.]
I mean thank you. That's what I mean.
no subject
Robin relaxes the more he talks. he settles, he calms. his hair appears more and more white, the dye disappearing in uneven blotches. it looks an awful mess, but most transitions do.
he doesn't pull away this time, talking into the other's shirt instead:] You've got a lucky friend, I think...
[and then, after another pause of his own:] You're welcome. I'm not going to leave you alone in here.
no subject
[What?]
Really?
[Somehow it comes as a surprise to him. Maybe it shouldn't. Maybe his first thought shouldn't be that their combination is too volatile to be allowed in the waking world. It obviously isn't; this time they haven't escalated things, they've made things just a little bit better. So why would it be bad not to be left alone? Why is he so afraid of that?]
[Hesitantly, he finger-combs more and more of the dye out of Robin's hair, unsure what to say next. But he's damn well going to try to say something.]
I'll . . . try to clean up a little. In my head.
no subject
I know. You don't show anybody, you already said.
[whatever that means in relation to the last part... may not get explained, because this Robin is shifting away. he still has tired eyes. they're red now, not from crying--just in color. his hair is only dark at the tips, now. his pale smile is a small one, and he uses his free limb to pat numbly at the front of his own shirt.]
There's a... [pat, pat... pat...] ...hang on...
[and then he remembers, how silly of him--and he reaches down into his shirt to pull out a small slip of paper. nothing fancy, and not much bigger than a business card, but it is impossibly dry for how soggy Robin seems to be. he holds it up for Caesar, face-down.]
Here. Read this.
no subject
[Maybe he's wrong. Maybe he should be afraid. But he's not. The only thing that bothers him is the dark color clinging to the tips of Robin's hair, which he chases after even when Robin pulls away, absently trying to drag it out with the tips of his fingers.]
[It's in the middle of doing this that Robin hands him the piece of paper. Where did that come from? He blinks at it for a few moments, then takes it carefully between his dye-smudged thumb and forefinger and looks down at it, puzzled.]
no subject
"I suppose so."
that was his friend's response, in a vacant tone. it meant absolutely nothing, and he could feel the man's eyes fixing on him, pointedly waiting for whatever came next. they haven't been on very good terms lately, he and this beautiful, serpentine person... so he'd taken extra care to talk about things that didn't matter, first.
it was back in the Iskaulit, before it was called that. to anyone else, it would have looked like two men sitting off to the side, talking instead of helping the rest of the Drift Fleet scuttle around the empty husk of a ship. to him, they were two ancient, inhuman creatures, and this was something that had been weighing on his heart.
he finally sighed, short and light, and admitted, "I did have something else to talk about." he let two beats sit. "Did you know that Mattias has left?"
he'd loved Mattias, even though the man was only here a short time. it hurt to think about, but it was nothing compared to the frustration that'd eaten it all away. and Tek knew that the other man should have been more... vividly upset, crying or throwing a tantrum over the network, which is why the lavender-eyed man seemed quietly, guardedly cautious.
"...Oh, did he?"
"Mmhm. Him and his friend, about a week ago." a whole week, he admitted. no breaks, no tantrums, no embarrassing outbursts of melodrama. he'd gotten himself very literally beat up, made him feel a lot better.
"I've been thinking about it a lot. Just sort of..." he twirls his finger, continuing, "Running it over, you know. I really liked him, and I really thought that he could make me happy. But now he's gone, and I'm just..."
he finally glanced back at Tek, feeling hollow. "I'm tired of it. I'm done trying. I don't even have the heart to get upset, this time." he paused, bit his lower lip, but didn't give him enough time to talk, not with what he was here to say. "Anyway, I'm here to tell you that you were right... And that you've been right for a long time."
Tek didn't say anything for what felt like a small eternity. he was probably busy deciding if this was a horrible trap or not. he let it sit in the air until the other man decided to tilt his head and finally ask.
"...About?"
"Ah, well..." he was finally a little embarrassed, having to admit this... "Back in Court, do you remember? You took me aside... Told me I needed to get my shit together, to paraphrase. I wasn't putting out a good image, then. I listened, but I didn't quite get it until now."
he smirked, bitterly. "I've spent so much time trying to be human, and I can't even remember why. Isn't that stupid?"
"It happens." Tek told him, surprising him for a moment... he was expecting ridicule (the usual scrape of useless, foolish, obnoxious), but that sounded like forgiveness. his smirk dropped away, as did some of his quiet intensity, as Tek gave him a silence within which to continue speaking.
"I'm done being an apathetic pawn. False gods, real gods..." he looked out again, watched the oblivious others busying around the entrance, "Maybe I am truly meant to be alone. It would make sense, wouldn't it?"
but then, Tek said the one thing he needed to hear. "Everyone is alone."
it was stated easily, weightlessly, but certainly. it wasn't exactly optimistic, but it wasn't any more scathing than it needed to be. Tek was agreeing with him, not not pushing him off into his own world. he was alone, yes, but he wasn't isolated.
"It's not so bad once you realize it."
they stayed quiet for a while, letting that sink in between the both of them. neither of them looked at each other, but he felt like they were suddenly closer through those words than they'd been in a very, very long time. the man's words weren't something he ever would have considered on his own--but because it was Tek, the only other creature who understands what it's like to be him, the only one who's always stayed and never left, he accepted him.
"I'll try not to forget."
he couldn't promise to always live that way, but he could believe it was the truth, and that was what he needed most.
on the card in Caesar's hand, written neatly, are the words... 'Everyone is alone, but we can be alone together.']
That's my place... [Robin speaks up again, not a trace of black left in his bone-white hair.] It's not so bad, there.
no subject
[He looks at it for a little while, thinking. He's spent so much time alone, hasn't he, and now . . . everyone's trying to pull him out of himself. Trying so hard, trying all the time. Sometimes alone is good, though. Sometimes--]
[He wonders abruptly if this is how Ino feels. That she's meant to be alone, that nothing can ever last. It's different from how he feels, that he was destined for destruction, revenge, or death, nothing else, but the core feeling, the sick knot in his stomach, the emptiness, that's the same.]
[After a moment, he laughs, quiet and breathy.]
Jojo would yell at me for agreeing with you.
[Which implies, of course, that on some level he does. On some level, he believes what Joseph tells him: that everything will be all right, that he can't give up, that it's not allowed and he won't let him. He believes in Joseph the way he believes in the sun. But on another level, he knows loneliness better than Joseph ever will. He understands it, and it understands him.]
It doesn't seem so bad there. Since you have company.
no subject
I'm sure he and I will just eat each other, one day. The whole thing'll... go up in flames...
[he sighs, closing his eyes. in Caesar's fingers, the card has turned into a small knife. he could either cut him open, or cut him free.]
But I think... Sometimes all you really need is someone who'll help you fall asleep.
no subject
[. . . His favorite tool.]
Hey.
[He turns to look down at Robin again, eyes wide and curious and hopeful.]
Can you hold very still for a moment? And then after that you can go to sleep, and I'll stay right here.
no subject
[he can try, anyway. he closes both eyes again, takes in a very careful breath, and waits--as still as he can, putting his fate in the hands of someone he still barely knows.]
no subject
[His hand comes up to cup Robin's face in his palm. The other slides the knife under the string, against the skin of his throat, turns it just so until the blade comes to the right angle against the string . . . and it snaps.]
no subject
Caesar could have honestly snapped them all with his fingers, or even with a bit of broken glass and some insight... but how he does it doesn't really matter. it's the choice, the intentional decision to keep moving forward instead of giving up, that's going to save them both.
a couple more strings around his neck snap on their own, following suit, as if they've been weakened just by the effort.]
no subject
[A small smile curves on his lips, not grim or self-deprecating or anything like that this time, just soft and pleased and maybe even optimistic. He goes through and cuts a few more strings with the same intense care, then a few more after that, working as quickly and carefully as he can until finally, Robin is able to break free.