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Who: Loki
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: On the moon initially, but he'll be back to the Paisley soon, and probably on the Iskaulit
When: June 5 (ends June 12)

Video

[Video starts with... that sure is Loki. But there's something subtly weird about his expression. There's nothing guarded or calculated about it, a slight relaxation of ever-present tension that was never apparent before, perhaps. The best poker face in all Nine Realms is nowhere to be seen. If anything, he looks upset. Confused, worried, a bit scared. And he's out in the forest on the toxic moon, which is just great, let him tell you. No mask, but he's never needed one before, not that he's aware of that, or of the fact that most people have to wear them.]

Hello? Yes, this seems to be working. What a curious device. [Anyway. The point.]

I seem to be lost. Very lost. Where is this?

[A view of the forest, brief but steady.]

And--[Careful breath.]--who am I?

Action

[Lucky Loki, his augment has glitched and while he remembers how to do things--and the occasional esoteric fact--he has no idea who he is. Good news--or bad news depending on your opinion of his usual space asshole personality--he'll get over it in about a week.

Even if no one comes find him, he'll make his way back to civilization eventually and be very confused about life and where he's even supposed to be. Good thing he's practically indestructible. But eventually, he will be around on the Paisley, and on the Iskaulit, poking about.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Bemused. ]

My ways or ways in general? None of us are perfect.

[Hm.]

Both?

I don't really know your or anyone else well enough to be able to tell.

My ways are set in stone. It's something I chose to do and cannot renegade on. That is, in itself, a problem and will need to be broken sometime in the future.

I do not see breaking as bad, simply a necessity in order for us to progress.

[Well--] That sounds... unpleasant? If you know it is a problem that must be fixed, why do you not do so yourself?

...progress to where?

[Where are we going, Leto, and why are we in this handbasket?]

[ He shakes his head. ] It's not in my nature.

[ This was difficult. Even more so because Leto finds himself reminded of the past when he would prefer not to be. If Loki had a few more memories, this could be an interesting conversation.

But Leto feels bereft. He wasn't this young even when he lost his memories, as if the taint of age never left. ]

That depends on you.

[Pause to consider this new point.] ...so do you mean that people have indelible natures that cannot be changed, no matter what?

That doesn't sound right at all.

[Back to him. When he has no answers.]

I need to know more.

No. Simply my nature is a little too fixed to be changed.

[ And Leto isn't fond of being attached to people. There is a division and it has little to do with self-esteem, but facts. He is a symbiote now, a receptacle of humanity. ]

You can ask and I will answer. You need answers. I have the answers.

Why? [If it is a quality unique to him, there must be a reason.]

What direction was I going before?

I am . . . inundated with experiences. Lives. It has taken away some of the simpler feelings. Being confused. Being scared. There's nothing there for me but ash.

[ Leto shakes his head. ] I do not know. I do not think you knew either. It has changed many times over.

That sounds... Unpleasant. [The having lost feelings, at least. But right now, feelings are pretty much all he has. Maybe he would feel different if he could remember everything.]

[He laughs.] If I didn't even know when I knew who I was, how could I possibly pick something now? No wonder it seems so difficult. [Does that mean he will never know enough to be certain?]

[ Leto shrugs. It is what it is. ]

Understanding one's self is always difficult, especially at the start. You cannot rush into these things.

But I want to know... Everything.

[He knows it's not a good excuse, even now. But his thirst to know things is all that defines him at the moment. Well, almost all.]

[ He smiles, bittersweet. ]

At what price?

Why must there be a price?

[Frown.]

What do I already owe? I have nothing I know of. [Not even memory.]

There is always a price for knowledge. Even more so for ultimate knowledge.

As for payment, I do not think you have it yet.

What sort of price, then?

[~~Only your happiness, your ability to care, your ease at making friends. That's all.~~]

Perhaps I could find a way to pay, so I might know.

No.

[ And his own strong reaction catches Leto off guard as well. He swallows. ]

It's not worth the price.

[He actually takes a step back, that was so unexpected. His hands draw in defensively, the fingers of one grasping for something that isn't there, an instinctive reaction he doesn't quite understand.

He licks his lips, suddenly nervous.]

Is it better to walk in the darkness, then?

[ Naivety. Childishness. Youth. It grated then and it grates now in the back of Leto's mind. There is a howl of frustration building up in him and he finds his infinite shore of patience being swept away. How was he meant to speak of this if no one ever understood him?

But Leto has never been young. Never felt the burst of surprise, the luxury of a learned lesson. He's never seen the world in new, fresh eyes.

Fools, a voice whispers to him, what are they in the eyes of God?

His shoulders slump. ]

It is better, I find, to walk a path that is yours than to borrow knowledge that is not.

[He laughs sharply, once. It's the most like himself he's sounded since this all began, though he does not realize it.]

Is it easy to say such things, when you know all that you know and have not had it all stolen from you?

[ Leto flinches, stung. ]

I did have it stolen from me. I even told you as much.

Yes, you did. Does the memory fade easily, of how it feels?

[He looks down at his hands for a moment, fingers curling.] I know not even if this is my native skin, though I do know that I have enemies, it seems. What a lovely thought that is. [To have enemies and not even know why.]

[ Another jab. Leto ignores it, speaking gently. ]

You have an erroneous outlook on knowledge. It will not bring you peace.

[So dryly, perhaps he is channeling himself for a moment:] Ignorance has certainly brought me no end of bliss thus far.

Hasn't it? Learning new things, exploring a new world with new people. Has it truly brought you nothing?

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