driftfleet | (no subject)

[She spent the first few days not leaving Winn's side too. She holds him, rubbing his back.] I'm sorry. [She should have known sooner because she should have checked on him. She's so used to him always finding her and that's not the way it is right now.]

I'm sorry too.

[ shuffling his way closer - because staying at a distance feels just as awkward now so he may as well do something - he gives sascha's shoulder a little pat. maybe he should have stayed in his corner of the kitchen. or left. he doesn't know, everything feels awkward now, but he knows how painful it is to lose people, he felt like he was losing his mind when jim was down, and when hank joined him? he was beside himself. he feels like he has to do something. ]

It's okay... [ It's not, but he's trying to not be completely gloomy about it. Bigby will wake up--he's sure of it. And it's not like he's entirely alone; Bigby hasn't left. He still gets to curl up against him every morning.

He still hugs Kitty tighter and peeks up at Winn over her shoulder. ]

I'm not lonely.

[ aka he's lonely. ]

[She looks up at Winn with sad eyes, but she also looks grateful that he's there. That he's close. It's hard thinking about Sascha so afraid to leave that room that he's been in there most of the time with his sleeping friend. The only one who really stayed at his side through all of this.]

I'll visit more. [She's pretty sure it was a silent "not" even if she heard it.]

[ he's pretty sure of that too. it's hard to be afraid of sascha when he's like this, but he still doesn't want to promise to come all on his own. ]

Me too. [ what is he getting himself into. he'll come with kitty, ok, or with kara. whichever k-named superhero he can drag along with him for protection. ]

You don't have to... [ He says, but he already sounds excite about it...or as much as he can in this situation anyway. That they would offer it to him at all means so much more to him--especially Winn. ]

We know that, but we care about you. And you can call anytime. [That will get her into trouble eventually when his confidence returns, won't it?]

That's what friends are for.

[ he'll go in for a hair ruffle because you're sad. how much did you miss those. ]

[ So much. Sascha's eyes go wide and he stares up at Winn in surprise, not having expected it after what had happened between them. It's so...nostalgic, the way he wants things to be. The way they were before.

His chest swells withe motion and if he possessed the ability to, he might've even gotten teary-eyed.

He doesn't so what he can do instead is hug Kitty tighter, to keep from trying to hug Winn. Because he wants to after that, and badly. ]

.....

[She rubs his back after seeing and feeling just how much Winn's gesture meant to him.] It's okay, Sascha.

[ he's not really sure what he should do here now, so he's just gonna take a small step back and stand here, looking almost as awkward as he feels. ]

I'm sorry... [ For being like this. Emotional? Being touched by their comfort? Having to depend on them like this. He feels bad for making them worry and not being his usually bubbly self, but that's been a hard thing to muster since remembering.

He never tries to remember. ]

Hey, no, you don't have anything to be sorry about, okay? You didn't do this. It's the Atroma. [Both things were.

She feels a torn seeing Winn looking so awkward and not knowing how to help him. She looks at him with questioning eyes to see if he knows.]

[ he has no idea. he feels helpless himself - torn between wanting to comfort sascha, to wanting to leave and let kitty handle it, to wanting to keep an eye on him, to feeling guilty that it's gone on this long to begin with, to...just too many things, he's torn apart. ]

You don't have to be happy around us, that's the beauty of friends.

[ hello pot, have you met kettle? I think you two will find you have much in common! ]

But I want to be happy... I wanna talk about good stuff with you and Winn and I don't wanna be sad that he won't wake up anymore. [ He wants to be able to hug Winn like he's hugging Kitty, or at the very least hold his hand or something. Anything like what the normal used to be between them. ]

It's just really hard when someone is in one of these comas and you want them to wake up more than anything. [She doesn't even like thinking about when Winn was out. It feels like those days didn't even pass for her and yet they felt so indescribably long too.]

We all wanna be happy.

[ what he wouldn't give for some simple uncomplicated happy, for even just a day. ]

But it's okay not to be, talking to your friends is how you get there.

[ he would let him hold his hand, if he tried. ]

[ Well in that case, Sascha might just let one hand leave Kitty's back to sort of hesitate in the air halfway towards Winn before he catches himself. ]

...He'll wake up right? 'Cause Winn woke up, and so did everyone else who went to sleep.

...I hope so. [She wants to just say yes, but Logan didn't. He just disappeared. She never saw him again.] Most people do. [She watches Sascha's hand and then looks to Winn, nervous about how he might feel.]

[ he's not sure how he feels, but it doesn't matter right now, does it? so he takes that hand because that's what he should do. ]

Whatever happens, you've got us.

[ Winn, Sascha could kiss you. If that wouldn't make things unbearable awkward and all, I mean. For now? He'll restrain himself to holding Winn's firmly and offering him the most surprise, but grateful of expressions. He'll give it a small squeeze and bury his face again. ]

Do you think he'll wake up soon?

[Oh, why do you keep asking things that make her want to tell you that everything is going to be great and there will be rainbows and kittens and fluffy something or other.]

It varies. [It lasts longer than the glitches or it can.] But we're still here for you no matter how long it is like Winn said.

[ please don't kiss him, sascha, it would make it entirely impossible for him to be there for you like he's trying to. he gives his hand a little squeeze in return. he knows this pain all too well, knows that nothing they say is really going to help, nothing but seeing the person you care about so deeply awake and safe again would. ]

[ He'll have to settle for those hand-squeezes, alas. Winn's perfect lips will have to wait for another day.

Preferably a happier one. ]

And...I can really call anytime? Even if it's late?

Yes. [She gives Winn an apologetic look, but see how sad Sascha is? And when do they ever sleep anyway?] Whenever you need.