driftfleet | dreams in digital

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dreams in digital

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ROOMS BY CHARACTER

A - C

Connor

D - F

G - I

Haggar

J - M

Lup

(last updated: 1/21/19)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm fine when I'm not… here. No one comes here. No one's… supposed to. I hid it away for a reason. [She hesitates, and then repeats,] You weren't supposed to be able to come here.

[A ripple passes through her body, shaken to the very core by something unseen, and she retreats from him until her back hits the curtains and she can go no further. Despite her incorporeal nature, the fabric is impermeable, blocking her from moving beyond, until she has no choice but to face him directly. In the darkness of her hood, her face is beginning to form some definition and features, or at least the illusion of one, and she looks kind of scared. Her red eyes dart back and forth, looking anywhere but at him.]

You know what this is, don't you?

[It's not rocket science, and he's a smart guy. She knows that she can be grim on occasion but this… her heart shouldn't be this dark. She doesn't think it should, anyway.

She's growing less sure over time.]

[He might pretend to be stupid and simple to make his life easier, but Taako can figure some shit out. The red robed figured lying in a cave, Lup's strange disappearance, the Umbra Staff in the skeleton's hands, a power to eat the magic of defeated wizards, a lich being nothing but arcane power, the way the Staff acted whenever he was in danger.

The letters L U P burned into the cafeteria wall.

He'd found her. It'd been a decade of not knowing she even existed, but even so, he'd found her. If he'd known, if Fisher hadn't stolen his memory of her, he could have saved her so much sooner. Taako pulls his hands back, looking at the darkness in this room, the impenetrable wall of inescapable grief and loneliness pervading this space. It pains him to think of her trapped in a place like this. It has to haunt her nightmares even now.]

...I can guess. Y-you know that...Even if I can't remember? You can talk to me, right?

[He can't let her feel this alone ever again.]

Because, I- well, I'm still an asshole, sure, but even then I can't exactly refuse you. You know that, right?

[Of course he'd offer that. He wants to help, and she's glad for it, but at the same time it's an unintentional cruelty. More than anything, she wants to be honest with him, and this place, this fragment of her soul isn't... healthy, the way it is... but the risk is unfathomable.

He has to understand that.]

Taako... would you trust me? If you knew what I am, if you knew where I'd been while you carried the staff? Without these memories, would you still want anything to do with me?

[She chose this life- or unlife- and it's a decision she'd make again, if she were forced to. The fact that she and Barry were liches and basically got one free death each cycle had saved all of their asses a few times, until they made it to Faerun. It helped them to survive and it meant that she could still exist back home, even if it was just as a spectre, after she died. Otherwise she'd just be a corpse in a cave, and Taako might be dead, too, without her to control the Umbra Staff when he needed it most.

But the thought of telling him here, when he still doesn't trust her- the thought of him rejecting her? She can't. She can't.]

[His instant reaction is an emphatic YES because why wouldn't he trust Lup? She was the only person in his life that stuck around until the Starblaster. Even then, he'd relied on her and loved her and still loved her more than them. He'd break the world in half for her and put it back together if that's what she wanted. She's his sister, his family, his heart, so why wouldn't he say yes?

But...without those memories, without the safety that Lup provided, the assurance that she wouldn't leave, wouldn't hurt him, wouldn't betray him? He can't be so quick to jump to that conclusion, which is a realization that hurts him worse than the cold in this room. She's been reaching out this entire time and he's been treating her with suspicion and mistrust, which is how they treated everyone, sure, but never each other. It was always the two of them against the world, but without that memory of her, he'd become callous and hard and withdrawn. He is slow to trust and even slower to like people.

He'd been afraid when she'd turned into a lich, not because liches were scary, but because he was worried for her. He didn't want her to lose herself in the pursuit of a safety net to keep all of them alive. He didn't want to live in a world where his sister was dead or lost or gone forever, pulled apart by arcane energies too powerful for him to comprehend or fight. And with all of Lucretia's stories about the Red Robes being dangerous and deadly only to find out that Lup was a lich?]

I mean...

[But did that matter? Lup had been there when he woke up in the First Breath's infirmary. She'd made him laugh when they pranked the junk planet. She'd taught him how to use Fly. She'd made him that bangle. He'd bought her a Candlenights gift without saying as much. They shared clothes. He worried about her in his own way when she was upset. He brought food to her ship. He spent the days after their fight angry because he thought he'd lost someone he'd started to care about.

Even without the memories, Lup was still Lup.

Taako shrugs a little and waves his hands in the air, trying to chase away the bad air.]

I'm literally dating Death right now, so it wouldn't be that weird to have a lich as a bestie? Memories or no, Lulu. It might be awkward as fuck for awhile, but with all the other messed up shit I go through, do you think having you be a lich would be the weirdest thing I deal with?

[It's subtle, but as he says those words and waves his hand about, a waft of warm air drifts through his fingers, there and gone again. The cold is quick to rush in and drown it, but the sensation is unmistakable.

Lup hesitates, taking a small step forward, moving back again a moment later. The air coalesces around her, her form slowly gaining more features; the brightness of her eyes flickers like fire, bright and dim, bright and dim, a candle in the wind. With each tiny flare her face becomes visible before vanishing again, and the conflict between what she wants and what she fears is all too visible on her expression.]

I can't... Taako if I lost you again, I don't think...

[Tentatively she lifts a skeletal hand to her chest, pressing it over her heart as if it hurts. After another moment of hesitation, she reaches her other hand out towards him.]

[The wisp of warm air is so searingly different from the frigid air in here, that even with his attention elsewhere, he can't miss it. It's the feeling of hope taking root where there was none. It's fragile and it's small, but it's so very important. It's more like Lup, the real Lup - the heat that is her heart always so much more loving and open than his, the flame of her passions hot enough to carry them through their entire lives - and Taako wants to cling to it.

If he truly will forget in the morning, he wants it all to burn him so deeply that something in him will remember. He wants the memory of his sister to scar his psyche so he can't help but reach out to her again when they meet in the morning. He can't let her think she's alone in this. They were always outcasts, but they were never alone.]

Dummy. You never lost me.

[He reaches out for her hand, his warm fingers pressing to her skeletal ones. It's a shock of cold, but he's used to it. He can endure this and give his heat to her for once.]

Do you think I share my closet with any yahoo who shows up asking for a spare skirt? Or that I bring your dumb ship food because I accidentally made too much? When have I ever accidentally cooked anything?

[He looks up at her now, floating, daring to hope, and smiles at her in the most genuine way he can muster, trying to push the darkness in this place away.]

You've never been one to give up, Lulu. Even when it pissed me off, you always stood your ground. So I know you and me? We'll figure this out.

[A sudden thought strikes him out of nowhere, bubbling up unbidden. It isn't a memory per say, not something he can really put a finger on except to say that it's right. This is a feeling that the Taako without his memories has and he has to tell Lup.]

He wants to remember you. I want to remember you. We're gonna get through this if I have to give myself head trauma to do it.

[Nothing happens for a long, long moment; she's frozen in time, the bones of her hand almost tangible as it curls around his, their fingers entwined. Her lich form twitches, almost like a glitch or a patch of static, the room recalibrating something, triggered by the unexpected gift his words have given her. It's an alien feeling, one that the room is trying to decide whether to absorb or expel. Something that doesn't belong here, usually.

Hope.

When the tremor halts a sudden burst of fire and heat flares up around their joined hands, traveling up her arm, to her body, down each limb and towards her head. Tongues of flame surround her, burning away the robe, the shadows, the cowed nature she'd possessed since he found her here. It burns with a heat almost too intense to endure but for some reason it doesn't cause him any pain at all.

She burns away the cold. She burns so brightly that every corner, every shadow flees behind the curtains, and the items that had appeared around them are pushed outwards, as far as they can go without vanishing entirely. Soft, twinkling stars begin to appear along the surface of the black cloth, traveling up towards the ceiling. The whole room has come alive.

And Lup? Her heart is pure arcana, and she's been set on fire. And she smiles, and he can see it, now.]

Dingus, wait until we find ourselves a cleric before you go and do that. [It sound more like her again, as she was in the kitchen, rather than the scared miserable creature she was just moments ago. Her fingers tighten around his, tangible for real, now, but still with a lingering desperation in her grip.] ...Listen, it... it might be bad for a while. If this is all we get, if I remember this tomorrow, my lichy tether's gonna get fucked up for sure. I've been... kinda toeing the line for a while.

[It's not his fault, but she'd bound her soul and her sanity to their connection, and it's frayed right now, a rickety bridge across the chasm of unknown that lies between them in the waking world. She doesn't want to tell him, but he needs to know- while she can still tell him here, while it's safe to say it. While he remembers enough to understand.

She'll need his help and his patience if she's going to make it through this without losing her mind.]

I won't give up, though. I promise- I'm not going anywhere. So if you're gonna wake up remembering anything, then remember that you can trust me, okay?

[The heat is intense, like a bomb going off against his skin, flaring from him up through her and exploding through the curtained room. It's so hot it should be unbearable, but seeing her light up like the sun - like she's supposed to be, brilliant and burning - brings him such relief. The flames swirl through the room, pushing away the darkness, returning Lup to herself and Taako feels his heart swell at the sight of her smile and again at her joke.

She's back.

She clings to him and he squeezes her fingers back, the feel of her a reassurance that he didn't just fuck this up and hurt her. She told him once that she was his heart, but Taako never really got to say it back to her, never thought he'd ever need to say it. But this past decade, the life he lived without her, however false it might have been, shows him that she's as integral to him and he is to her. Without her, he'd become cold and callous, hard and uncaring. He'd leaned hard into thinking everyone was dust, even when he lived among the people. Without her, he'd been incomplete.

He listens as she warns him of the dangers. Losing her anchor - him - is going to majorly fuck her up for awhile. A frown flickers across his face before he forces it away, moving back toward a smile that's meant to reassure her even as fear starts to creep back into his mind.

If she loses it completely here, would she be able to come back? Magnus is here and Kravitz, but it isn't the same. If Barry were here, he could help, but... Taako bites his lip and nods once, decisively.]

It's not gonna be easy, Lulu. If I forget-- [Gods, the very words coming out of his mouth make him sick to his stomach. He can't bear the thought of forgetting her again. She's been ripped from him once, how could he survive a second time? How could she?] --do you have someone? Can anyone here help you? Keep you safe? I know-- I know you won't wanna come to me. But you have someone, right?

[At that, she hesitates, unsure for a long moment. Does she? Magnus is here now, he would support her through anything if she asked him, and Kravitz would surely know a way to keep her from becoming… dangerous. Even without his scythe he's been chasing down undead and necromancers and liches for gods know how long. That isn't what Taako is asking, though. He's asking how to keep her safe.

So… think, think. They've been here for a while, and she's made some solid connections, but it's also them, and they've always been bad at trusting people- it takes a long, long time for that to build. Not something they can change all at once. Those she could depend on with all of this is a pretty short list.

She frowns tightly, worried, but trying to work through it. The list is short but not empty.]

Might steal Mags for a bit. And if Kravitz can still be convinced not to kill me for this, he might have some ideas on how to contain it. Um, tell your other self not to get too jealous for borrowing your dudes, okay?

[She thinks of the tree, then, spilling out her secrets to a particular audience and then, after, that same audience helping her work through it.

Not as short a list as she would have thought. ]

I can… talk to Haggar. I think she'll understand.

[At least she hopes so.]

Don't worry about Kravitz - I think. [Taako takes a breath, threading his free hand through his hair.] I think he knows how much shit he'd be in if he ever tried to hurt you.

[Not just from Taako, but from Lup. There's that future thing going on, the part that he neither wants to ask nor Kravitz wants to tell. It's the same problem he has with Magnus. They're both from a time where...well, it seems like they know things about Taako, about Lup, about everything. And right now, that's fine. Taako knows things too, maybe not the outcome of whatever is waiting for them, but he knows the past now and has a more complete picture so it doesn't bother him.

But when he doesn't? Gods, he's been pushing Magnus away since he arrived and he realized that he spouted static the same way Lup did. It hurt and it wasn't a hurt that was going to be healed anytime soon if he forgot as soon as he left Lup's dream world.]

I'll do my best to keep from being all green-eyed jealousy monster. But uh, definitely talk to Mags, huh? I've- [He frowns, hating how his memory loss has created such a phenomenal gap between him and everyone else. He might pretend not to care about any of them, but how could he not? Over a hundred years together makes you more than friends. Taako lets out a slow heavy breath.] Fuck, I've been kinda being a jerk to him without realizing it.

[But Haggar? That's...surprising? Not really? Sort of? Taako's ears perk up at the mention and he's confused for a moment. But then again? It's not for him to judge. It's weird, sure, but Lup has always been better at making those precious connections than he has. Maybe that was why Haggar had come to his rescue after his massive fuck-up: Lup.]

And if you think she, if you think Haggar can help, go for it.

[He wishes he could help, but if he could, they wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.]

...Do whatever you need to be safe, Lup. Please, just- don't let this [Don't let me] be what breaks you, okay? I'll kick your ass if you do.

Dingus, if you weren't a jerk he would wonder what's wrong with you. [She smiles, playful, and elbows him gently. She knows what he means, so a moment after the dig she adds, more softly,] We'll have a talk. He'll understand, you know he will.

[She uses their joined hands to pull him closer again, her free hand lifting to touch his face as she presses their foreheads together, closing her eyes and just breathing in his presence for a moment. She had needed this, in her heart and soul- to be with Taako, to have him know her again, to feel their bond pull tight and strong again, the way it ought to be. They'd both been adrift and alone for far too long.]

I promise… I won't break. If the Umbra Staff couldn't do it this sure as hell won't. And… you're here. Even if you don't remember me yet, it means a lot that you're here.

Good thing I've always been an asshole then, he's probably used to it. [Taako rolls his eyes and then leans into her touch, willing to be sappy because it's just her here. No one can disturb them and he thinks they've earned a little sap all things considered. She closes her eyes, but Taako keeps his open, watching her from up close. He wonders if he can see enough of her, experience enough here in this black curtained room that he can't forget her even with the voidfish's magic reaching across the planer realities.

He hopes this leaves something behind in him like he's remembered other rooms he's been in. He wants to remember this more than anything. This is important. She's important.]

...Yeah, just- I know we don't say it a lot or like...ever? But uh...I'm sorry. If I don't remember for awhile. If-- [Taako sighs and finally closes his eyes.] If I'm an asshole to you of all people. It's hard to be...well, me when I don't have you.

Taako...

[It's almost a sigh, and she holds him all the more tightly, the heat rising up to envelop him, as if the whole room is trying to hug him and keep him close, keep him safe. The knowledge that she has to let him go eventually is ever-present, but it's drowned in the quiet echo of not yet, not yet.

let me have this a little longer.]

Koko, you don't have to apologize. You know that, right? It's not your fault. If I hadn't been such a dingbat I'd have been with you when you lost your memories. We'd have lost everything else, but at least we'd have had each other.

[The thought of forgetting her family is gut-wrenching, and she can't imagine how things would have gone if he hadn't been protecting them as the mysterious Red Robe, or if she hadn't been in the Umbra Staff to protect him with her full power. More than that she can't imagine having to choose between losing her life with Barry in exchange for regaining her life with Taako.

But it would be temporary, and... she hates the state Taako was left in. He deserves so much better, and they deserve the balance they'd always found in each other.]

Sometimes... it's difficult to be me without you, too. Learned that lesson hardcore. I... I miss you. I missed you so much, for so long.

Well yeah duh it's not my fault.

[The dismissal is quick and automatic. It's not his fault his heart was ripped from his chest, leaving him hollow inside. He filled that space up with barbed wire so nothing could hurt him again, even though he never knew what had been there in the first place.]

But it's, it's not really your fault either. You did a stupid ass thing going off by yourself, no denying that, but-

[It wasn't her that hurt him. It was Fisher, and whoever fed Fisher the record of Lup. There's really only one person it could be and that? That's a betrayal that stings Taako to his core. She's been lying to him all this time. Looking him straight in the face and flat out fucking lying to him for the better part of a year. Lup holds him and he clings back to her to ground himself away from his anger. It boils under his skin now, threatening to burn him alive if he thinks too much on it.]

-it doesn't matter. You're here. And you're sappy as fuck and I missed you too, goofus.

I'm sappy, he says. Who was the one reaching out to me first, when I was all grim and ghoul-y? Didn't you just drag me off the cliff edge with the power of love or some bullshit?

[She draws back just enough to look at him, lifting her hand to adjust his hat and then poke the corners of his lips with two fingers.]

You made me smile again, for real- here, of all places. So fuck yeah I'm sappy. I love you, you dork.

I plead the fifth and don't recall. It was too dark to see.

[He bats at her hands when she pokes him in the face, feigning at being annoyed. Even if his face is frowning though, he can't stop the smile in his eyes. This is normal, even here in this black room, closed off from the warmth of the kitchen they'd spent so many decades in. This was a normal he hadn't had in longer than he could remember.]

Besides, it's not my fault my family is goth as fuck, mkay? If you didn't want me being fine with you going all spooksville, maybe you shouldn't chosen a less ghost-y form.

[She just grins, the expression shining through loud and clear even in her ethereal form, and without an ounce of shame. Eventually it might be at least one-third his fault - he's the one who picked the Grim Reaper as the object of his affection and had been taking it pretty seriously in her time - but she keeps that to herself. He's not there yet.]

You love it. There's no denying we've got style.

[She's glad that Taako ended up okay with... all of this, though. It's been years, but that never ceased to be a relief to her. His rejection would have wrecked her, truly and absolutely. And it's not that she doubted him, as she wouldn't have chosen to become a lich with Barry if there'd been a risk of losing Taako in the deal, but... still. It's a comfort she's never forgotten or taken lightly.]

Fair, but I'll be leaving the Crow lifestyle to you. Taako's got his pastels and bright hues and he's sticking to 'em.

[Except for that 'Halloween' costume. That had been a good choice in the end. Kravitz had liked it. A lot. That thought makes a smile flash across Taako's face unbidden, which he's quick to chase away with a tongue stuck out at Lup.]

Black's more of an accent for me, ya dig?

Ugh, not even. You won't catch me dead or undead wearing black for a long-ass time. Ghost Rider can keep that corner to himself.

[Just looking around the room makes it easy to see why. Even with the shadows chased away, the two of them are still the only colour in this place. After a decade of waiting she got real tired of looking at it.]

Good.

[Because it doesn't suit her. Lup has always been the sun, brilliant and vivid, all vitality and motion. Black looks good on the right occasion, but it's never been their chief color of choice.]

Although if I have my way about it, I'm going to try to get him to wear something other than goth suits 24/7. If only for the change. Can't deny he looks hot as fuck in them, but [He waves his free hand vaguely.] --diversifying the portfolio, y'know? I'm honestly surprised his underwear doesn't have skulls on it, too.

[Her spectral eyes widen, and she leans in conspiratorially, struck by sudden genius.]

Taako. Taako, oh gods. You have to- pastel goth.

[He would look amaaaaazing and also hysterical. Do it.]

Oh. My. Gods. Yes!!!

[He would kill to see Kravitz rocking a lilac or - gods forbid, an elf could dream - yellow. Taako grabs at Lup's hands, his face lighting up with the possibilities.]

You have to remember this so you can help me make him do it, puh-leeeeeease.

Like I'm gonna forget this.

[Her grin broadens.]

Just bat your eyes at him and look extra swag when you bring it up. I bet he'll cave at least once for ya.

[He might though... That thought is sobering. As soon as he's out of here, he might forget. It was Lup's fear and he'd done his best to reassure her, but if he's given a moment to think about the possibility, that fear creeps into him. Thankfully, he's phenomenally good at pretending nothing is bothering him.

His smirk curves higher at the sight of her smile without hesitation.]

I have a few tricks up my sleeve to get him to say yes to just about anything. Don't you worry.

[Whether it's wishful thinking in her own consciousness or his excellent hiding skills, she doesn't notice any sign of faltering, leaning in to bump her shoulder to his.]

I'll look forward to the results, then.

[And then it's her turn to feel uneasy, as the glow around them spreads enough that the curtains blocking any exit from this place just... dissolve, leaving them in a circle of black glass surrounded by a soft white light. It isn't blinding or painful to look at. Instead, it's almost reminiscent of the light of creation: bright, beautiful, powerful, but ultimately harmless. It's... an exit, a way to leave this place, and it's something they both know instinctively as it reveals itself.

She glances around, then looks down at their hands, giving his a small squeeze.]

Koko, I... I know you have to go back eventually. And whatever happens next, I'll be okay. But... for a while...

[A bit of the firelight around her dims, because not knowing is one of the scariest things she's ever had to think about, because the idea of losing him again is just awful, but that's their reality now.

Just. Not now now.]

For a while, stay with me?

dreams in digital

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