[ one year anniversary ]

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Video
Action: SS First Breath
When: Today! It's a special day!

( video broadcast )

[ the feed splutters before turning on. loki is surrounded by a whole bunch of boxes. boxes as far as the eye can see. loki has started opening them while the speakers blast this song loud and clear. loki, for his part merely huffs. ]

It seems I have spent a total of a year in this place and the, ah, viewers wish to celebrate. However most of this is useless to me, so I welcome anyone else taking them into their hands.

[ which, ngl, he's into. but the gifts loki has are just . . . baffling. he holds each one up to the camera. we have the mighty thor scooter, captain chickmerica, loki on hotwheels, a masterpiece, plastic horns, disturbing panties and something for "sophisticated men" ]

Please feel free to come by to the First Breath to pick them up.

Also, this has reminded me. Since we are essentially living by this . . . awkward mortal calendar, I have decided I want a birthday. You lot should help me pick one.

[ and get him presents. this is essentially a ploy for presents. ]

Comments

[brooklyn_boy]

[Oh wow. Rude.]

You think I'm a chicken?!

[dothelokimotion]

[ he shrugs. ]

I am saying there are similarities.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Steve scowls.]

What similarities?

[dothelokimotion]

You do share the same colour scheme as a rooster.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Not funny. Steve narrows his eyes and glares at Loki.]

That's like saying you share the same color scheme as a cow.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he's on a roll. ]

If green and gold cows exist, then certainly. Or horns. I would have assumed you knew more about your own fauna than that, Captain.

[brooklyn_boy]

I meant your dark hair and Victorian skin, Loki. Otherwise I'd call you a leprechaun.

[Steve is still grumbly and offended which is why he picks something else to make fun of. Or try to.]

What's the other junk they sent you? Underwear? And...a magic wand? Fat marker? I don't even know what that is. Same color as your alien friend though. Plan that?

[dothelokimotion]

[ victorian skin sounds like a compliment than an insult. if loki knew what that meant. his eyebrows go up at the latter part though. ]

. . . Do you not know what that is.

[brooklyn_boy]

[This is doing nothing to stop Steve's frown. Great, even alien gods can make fun of his lack of present knowledge now.]

A... remote?

[dothelokimotion]

Well.

You are not wrong.

[brooklyn_boy]

[He knows when he's being made fun of.]

Does it...control the car? Or is it...a game?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki stares. ]

You are a full grown man, are you not?

[brooklyn_boy]

What does that have to do with anything?

[dothelokimotion]

[ he snorts slightly. ]

Just that this is a level of denseness that surprises me. This is a vibrating device. People use it to reach new heights of pleasure.

[brooklyn_boy]

Vibrating device?

[Steve's confused and then, finally, he gets it. You can tell by how immediately he turns red.]

Wh- Why? Why would they send that to you?!

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki shrugs. ]

Perhaps they thought I was lonely and in need of sexual gratification.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Wait....]

You're gonna use it? How?

Actually. Nevermind. I don't want to know.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki gives him a pained look. ]

The fact that you do not know is answer enough.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Jerk.]

Look. You...shapeshift. So I get it. You do that and use it.

[Because of course men can't but Steve isn't an idiot. He can figure things out, thank you.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ dryly. ]

Men can use vibrators too.

[brooklyn_boy]

[The skeptical look on his face defies explaination. Trickster god won't get him that easy.]

I'm sure.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he smirks. ]

Are you now? Perhaps you need a description. Maybe some pictures to go along with it.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Steve turns into Captain Tomato.]

Stop it. I'm not stupid. Experience or no experience, I know what parts people have and don't have.

[dothelokimotion]

That seems debatable, considering your reaction. If you know that much, I fail to see the shame in it.

[brooklyn_boy]

Wait ...

Guys really can us it?

[If he falls for a prank that quickly he's gonna hate himself. But Loki seems genuine.]