Voices from Heaven (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thespaceopera) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2015-10-20 11:18 am
thespaceopera) wrote in driftfleet2015-10-20 11:18 am
Entry tags:
- !event,
- ahsoka tano,
- coil lenn,
- margaret "peggy" carter,
- nami,
- natasha romanoff,
- nelkeila tarid,
- nyssa al ghul,
- octavia blake,
- one,
- phèdre nó delaunay de montrève,
- r. daneel olivaw,
- rapunzel,
- remy lebeau,
- riku,
- robin redbreast,
- rogue,
- santanico pandemonium,
- shawn hunter,
- sokka,
- stefan salvatore,
- steve rogers (ou),
- steven quartz universe,
- stiles stilinski,
- syeira,
- tadashi hamada,
- tekhetsio,
- the vision,
- vash the stampede,
- vima sunrider,
- wanda maximoff,
- wrath,
- yamanaka ino
...And also these.
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cw: self-hate, rejection
There are time that he worried about rejection, about being found disgusting, but this entire feeling intensifies it beyond a degree that he didn't feel possible, combined with those new feelings. "A biohazard to all you encounter". Maybe Rogue's image vaguely floats through his mind associated with these feelings, but he doesn't think about it. Only because he can't process any thoughts right now beyond this overwhelming feeling that fills him with such dreadful self-hated.
His breathing is so short and shallow. He doesn't want to hold onto this thing for a second more, but he's still determined to do what he can. With one frantic, desperate motion, he tries to slap the trophy down onto its stand and then let it go.]
cw: self-hate, rejection - Kurt, you look constipated
The trophy, however, won't stay in place. It falls onto the mantle, just as abandoned and broken as it was before.
The room seems darker, now.]
cw: self-hate, rejection - be nice to your brother!
What was that? [And then he glances around uncertainly.] Who turned out the lights...
cw: self-hate, rejection - /...offers some prunes?
Either way, in the dimmer light the candles on the mantle seem brighter, as does the fire in the coffee table. The air carries just enough of a chill that Kurt might be glad of his fur.
The fire crackles a little louder, and of course there are other sources of light in the room - the Tiffany lamp by the door, the hurricane lamp by the window - if Kurt feels the need for some more light to make up for the fact that, well, that glass case was over the trophy for a reason.]
cw: self-hate, rejection - still rude!!
But as Kurt catches his breath, he does make his way towards the fire, to try to look into it and regain his bearings while making use of what light and warmth it may give off.]
cw: self-hate, rejection - but helpful!
Does he:
>Try to wake the sleeping figure?
>Go for another source of light?]
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He makes some taps at the table to see if that stirs her, and then he speaks.]
H-hey. Anybody home?
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Rogue stirred and turned and... oh.
Well, time to stand and play hostess, she supposes.]
Hello, Kurt.
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Rogue?!
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Uh-huh. Yup. Got it in one, baby brother.
[...whoops, but oh well, basically.]
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Wait, what's going on?! Why are you on fire, and... and why are you calling me that?
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Bro, get off the floor.]
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I don't get it! I mean... Do you need some water or something?!
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[Very Cranky, Kurt.]
But you're welcome ta help yourself ta whatever ya like out of there.
[A nod at the hospitality cover.]
...an' I'd appreciate it if ya put the cover back on over the trophy. [A slight tsk, disappointed] No one's supposed ta touch that.
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[He frowns.]
But I just wanted to fix it. Why can't I just... put it back together, good as new?
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...is that a serious question?
[Yes, sometimes, even the representation of Rogue's consciousness has a hard time not saying exactly what enters her mind.]
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It was filled with... with so many feelings that I never even imagined. Why does it have to be... so hard?
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Why does what have ta be so hard, Kurt? Life?
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I... I don't know.
I keep asking, and I don't know.
Why do so many people have to hate what makes us special? Why can't we all just... get along? ...Why does anything have to break to begin with...
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I don't know why, Kurt. But that doesn't change how it is.
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Maybe someone strong enough an' powerful enough could. Maybe they could make it so that everyone loves everyone all the time, an' there's never any problems with anyone... never any choice. An' where would that leave us? Would anythin' we do even matter after a thing like that?
People have ta have a choice for their actions to mean something. Or else we're all just part of a machine.
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So then, what are we supposed to do with all our mistakes? Just... hide them away? [He looks back towards the trophy.]
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Really?]
Ya think that's what I'm doin'?
[Does he really think the trophy is something as small as a mistake, after he held it like that? Does he really think that something on display in a mantle is hidden, for all that it had a protective glass cover that is still not replaced, for all the sense of darkness leaking out of it where it remains, broken and uncovered?]
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