driftfleet | [video/Action]

Entry tags:

[video/Action]

Who: Kitty Pryde and everyone who tags!
Broadcast: Yep!
Action: Planet fun! Or Windrose maybe. I'm flexible.
When: Now or nowish. Definitely now-adjacent.

[Broadcast]
I have an important request. I need someone who can make cheese. Do cheese makers have an old timey name like cobblers and haberdashers or are those only for clothes? Anyway, calling all of those.

Cheese doesn't seem to be a thing here from what I can tell, but we're just one ingredient away from some really great pizza. I have no idea what cheese requires other than cows or goats or something. I grew up so close to Wisconsin, but I feel like I learned so little.

I would also accept alternative cheese. I know there were vegan kinds made out of hopes and dreams or something I assume. I can pay you or share the finished pizza or do something in trade if I had skills. I could beat someone up for you maybe. [She's not going to do that. Probably.] We'll work it out.

[Action]
[She's on the planet doing all of these things and more but this post won't get to CAPTCHA! You might find her on the Windrose veeeery rarely!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No need to be jealous of him anymore, right? [Not that he couldn't be jealous just of him taking his friend's time.]

[ it's a little more complicated than that; he wasn't only jealous of james' success with kara - it's everything james represents. he's confident, handsome, tall, strong, masculine, cool, good with words - all of the things that winn isn't. things that people have been leaving him for his whole life.

and he did monopolize kara's attention. it had hurt so much, when he was trying to open up to her, let her know how he felt about her - and all it took was for james to walk in the door to turn him invisible. no longer being romantic rivals makes things easier between them but...they still have issues between them. ]

I'm over Kara. [ because that's what he thinks she's asking. and saying it -- also feels kind of good. he didn't think he'd ever get here but he agrees with kara now - their friendship is so good right now. and she wouldn't have given him what he needs. he never knew it before because he's never had someone like kitty in his life -- but she's exactly what he needed. ]

I know you are. [She kisses his cheek. She hadn't meant to fish for that. She trusts him to be with her. And she'd understand if there were some lingering feelings and attraction.]

I think you're the whole package, you know? You don't have any romantic rivals.

[ he can't say the attraction's gone, but it's turned into more of an aesthetic appreciation. kara is beautiful, but with every passing day he sees her more and more like family. it's a good feeling. ]

Kitty, the guy's a titan. [ he knows he's no troll but -- come on. he wouldn't have picked himself over james either. ]

Sooo, you think me and James should give it a shot? [Can you feel how little interest she has for that? It's none. Zero interest.]

That's not funny.

[ ok it's a little funny, but a part of him is so insecure that even though he knows james is in love with kara and kitty is in love with him and neither one of them would want to hurt him like that -- it still makes him nervous. what if when he takes her back to national city, she'll see him the way everyone else sees him back home? boring, silly, eye roll worthy winn. only good for solving your tech problems. ]

No. [Soft kiss.] Romantic. [Another. Rivals. [And again.]

[She loves him and that is clear in the way she feels about him through the link. She gets warm, excited feelings that make her feel like laughing for no reason because there's just too much good inside and she doesn't know what to do with it. He's smart, funny, and thoughtful to a fault.

And desire? That's definitely there. She always thought he was handsome from the moment she saw him on his first arrival, but now he's the most beautiful person in the world. Love goggles will do that to you. She's memorized things about his eyelashes and chin that would make a sketch artist's day.

There's also one more thing and it's not as personally flattering, but it's still very real for her. Probably for both of them. She so desperately wants some stability in her life. Someone she can count on. Someone she can be with a week from now, a month, a year, a decade. She has a hard time believing in the future, but she wants to look at someone and not see an end either. She doesn't want to stray. She wants the security of him. She's not looking for the next great thing. She's found someone great and she stopped looking. It doesn't mean she wouldn't choose him over and over again, but it's not even a consideration. He's hers as long as she's his.]

[ he leans in for a deeper kiss, one that's slightly tinted with a desperation to remain hers. for his part, he's convinced no one could be as right for him, no one could love him the way she does. and yes - he wants to be with her because he loves her, he loves her so much it hurts. he's always thinking about her, trying to find things or ideas that would make her smile, because he loves the way she smiles - she has the best smile. but him loving her is almost inevitable to him, it's granted. her loving him...that's what really makes them special. he could never walk away from that. he can imagine them back in national city building a life together so clearly, the fantasies are almost as clear as his memories. he could help her pay for college, so she'd finally get to experience it, they could have study sessions late into the night with piles of pizza and a lot of make out breaks. they could have silly arguments about whether or not his adult collectibles should get to stay on display or get shoved in the back of the closet. they could have lazy nights lying on the couch with netflix, and exciting nights out on the town, going dancing. he wants it all so badly. ]

[She presses back and she can see the things he's imagining and it's touching and it scares her. Does she really fit into that world after the one she was raised in? Was it like bringing a lion with you and expecting it to behave like...like a kitty? And yet there was something so tempting in it or at least in his desire for it. She can't quite hold back the thought of children following it someday. A wish she doesn't feel close to saying out loud, but the feelings are there.

She pulls back from the kiss.] Hey, you have to be careful about that pedestal you have me on. It's a long fall.

[ when she thinks of children panic starts to well up in his chest, even though he knows it would be a long way away. he's had nothing but role models to teach him how not to raise a kid, and when he was one the others were so cruel to him. yeah, he had fun with carter, but the moment he turned his back to get their dinner, the kid ran off to find supergirl and nearly got himself killed.

he's not responsible enough for kids. ]

You can air walk.

[ he knows he has a tendency to completely blind himself to the faults of people who give him an inch, and kitty's certainly given him more than that. but kitty is amazing, of that he has no doubt, and he really doesn't think anyone else could ever love him like that, and if his feelings aren't reciprocated, it can't ever be as good. ]

[She knew he wasn't ready to have kids. She's not ready either. But at the same time he's already many years older and more settled—or he was before being abducted—so the panic isn't the best kind of feeling to get from him. She can hide the disappointment from her face, but not from the link. She does understand it's just...if she were going to believe the future really exists then she'd like to think there are children in it for her someday.]

Mm, that's cheating.

[ he may be older and more settled, but he's a lot less mature in a lot of ways. he hates how much older than her he is, especially in times like these because he knows it works against him.

he strokes her cheek, hurting at the thought of disappointing her. ]

Hey, I'm not saying never. I just -- I'm not good at this. [ and this is a big deal. this could be the thing that breaks her, that makes her decide he's not worth it anymore, and it's scary, but so are kids. he knows how bad they can get, how screwed up, and he's terrified of being the thing to screw them up. he's never been around them as an adult, he doesn't have any siblings so no nephews, he barely has any friends and the ones he has are all childless too...and he's scared. ]

[She reaches up to brush back her hair.] It's... It's not like it's something I would be asking about now. [She almost said "yet." She isn't ready even if she knows she wants it eventually. And she isn't ready to choose between him or that when there are too many things unknown like if a choice is really going to be necessary. He did just say he's not saying never.]

For what it's worth I know you'd be an amazing dad. [She means every word of that. She has more confidence in him as a dad than she has in herself as a mother.]

[ that's funny, because he has way more confidence in her as a mom than he does in himself as a dad. but she said it herself - he does a lot of things that scare him. isn't he sitting on a ferris wheel right now? (oh god, that panic is creeping back in, he's so high up why is he doing this? oh right kitty. he's doing this for kitty. deep breath.) he got used to working at catco, so used to it he can even find himself standing on the porch and looking out at the view in times of great crisis. he's capable of a lot of things he wouldn't have given himself the credit for before trying. maybe this is one of them.

he smiles a little, because her confidence is always worth a lot to him. ]

Any kid would be lucky to have you for a mom. [ she would always love them no matter what, and that's what a kid really needs. it's what he always needed. ]

But we can -- save that for when we're home and settled, right? [ first they have to get back. then they have to get her comfortable. this conversation is a long ways away, isn't it? they have enough to overcome in their past and present without dragging the future into it. ]

[She would do that. The love is covered. It's the other parts she worries about. Will she be a good teacher? Will she manage to protect them? Will she pass on her own shortcomings? But his faith in her helps too.] Yeah, of course. One thing at a time. [She kisses his jaw.] I think the ride is almost over.

[ he's a 1000% certain she'd be more competent at that than he will. he eats sugary cereal and take out, marathons games well into the middle of the night, camps out for new tech toys...he may be many years (still stings) older than she is, but he doesn't feel like a grown up. then again, he does get pretty parental around margaery and sascha. it creeps the hell out of him when he notices it. ]

One thing at a time. [ he echoes it. he hasn't even really gotten to only be with her yet, they live on crowded spaceships, they've only been together a couple of months. he's not that old. ]

Huh -- that wasn't so bad. [ ok it was pretty terrible before she shared her serenity with him. but no one can keep him from pretending he has a spine. ]

Yeah? You wanna go again? [She's joking. Please don't. She doesn't like putting him in a position that scares him like that.]

And you know I don't think of you as old, right?

All night long.

[ please don't make him go again, he'd rather volunteer for an all-nighter training session with jim.

there's some obvious discomfort there because -- no he doesn't know that. it's not just her, so many people make jokes or just outright argue that he's old and he's never really had a problem with his age before the fleet but then again back home he didn't spend any time around teenagers since he was one. and he definitely wasn't dating a 20 year old who thinks he should have it together by now because he's almost in his 30s. ]

I'm too cute to be old.

Very cute. Very appropriately aged. [She doesn't think there's anything unsettled or wrong about his life. She was just nervous that at this age if he's still not wanting kids that there may not be an age when he does. But he already said they could talk about it later. Much later. Years later. She doesn't want to push.] Very loved. Very the next to get off the ride.

[ pumping his fist in the air -- he jumps off the ride so fast it's almost like he borrowed kara's speed for a second there. he really hates heights a lot. ]

[She slides off with a bit more poise.] Do you need to kiss the ground for awhile or should we check out some games?

[ he tilts his head, like he's considering it. ]

Compromise.

[ he leans in and kisses her, sweet and lingering. ]

Okay, let's check out some games.

[She's smiling when he pulls away.]

...Hey! Did you just call me the ground? [Taking his arm as they walk.]

Well -- I do love it a lot, and it keeps me steady.

[ and kitty does the same for him, she keeps him balanced, connected, as secure as he can get under the circumstances. ]

Someone is reaching. [But she gives him a peck on the same anyway. Clearly, she's confused about how to use positive reinforcement.]

You're not so bad too. [Love. So much love. It radiates off her.] And I am really glad to be off of that thing. [She shared her excitement and contentment with him, but he shared her terror with her.]

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